You're Driving Me Mental - Phan

Chapter 5

I woke up cold but sweaty, an unusual combination. I sat up immediately when I heard someone cough from next to me. Stood before me was Phil.
"You've been asleep for a while. It's time for that movie night thing." Ugh was all I thought. I didn't feel like sitting in a room full of agitated teens whilst a film played almost inaudible due to the staff having conversations behind the sofas. I begrudgingly rolled out of bed. I had slept in my clothes so they were creased and my hair was going crazy. Overall, I looked a mess.
"Dan, are you okay?" Phil sounded like a concerned parent when he said it. I wasn't sure what he was implying so I just grunted.
"But Dan, you're still shaking and you look like a ghost!" Once he mentioned it, I started to realise the room was a roundabout. Nothing stopped spinning when I fell back onto my bed.
"Dan? Should I go get someone?"
"No I'm fine. I'm going back to bed, if anyone asked tell them I was feeling sick okay?"
"Fine." Phil turned on his heals and left the room. He seemed oblivious to the fact he probably had no idea where he was supposed to be. I tried to forget about Phil whilst I laid on my back staring at the plain ceiling. It isn't hard to go mad in a mental hospital. Everything is always so clean and white. Luckily I wasn't mad, therefore, I wasn't constantly watched and followed around.  I wasn't mad. Maybe challenged, but certainly not mad. I stayed like that for at least an hour before my thoughts were swallowed by sleep again.

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"Morning Dan, are you feeling any better?" I didn't have the slightest idea of what was happening. There was a blur of pinks and blonde leaning over me. Jane.
"It's too early. Go. Away."
"No can do honey. You've already missed breakfast because you wouldn't wake up."
"Oh."
"Exactly, now come on out of bed and put some clean clothes on. Because of yesterday, you have an appointment with your therapist." Ugh, I hated those. Pointless questions about things I really wasn't comfortable sharing with people.
"Why are you like a personal fricking planner for me. I can manage my life on my own." Jane really annoyed me when she was in that mode. But then again, her only other mode seemed to be 'overly protective mum' which I wasn't a fan of either.
"We both know that you can't look after your own life, and besides, you're only 15 and it's my job to look after you.
"Whatever." I crawled out of bed before Jane turned around so I could get dressed. I put on the obligatory white jumper along with my black skinny jeans. I didn't like the jumper, but it was supposed to protect self harmers' secrets.
I arrived at the corridor of doom only to be pushed into Emily's office. Emily was my therapist, and also considered as a threat to those who wouldn't comply with other therapists requests.
"Hello Daniel, how are you today?" I didn't reply, I didn't have any energy in me for mindless conversation.
"Dan, please look this way. You're going to have to speak to people one day, you know that right?"
"I do speak to people! Stop jumping on my case, I just want to sleep!"
"I know Dan, and since it's Saturday today, I'll let you go back to sleep once you've answered my questions, understood?"
"Fine."
"Good. Now Dan, what got you worked up yesterday then?"
She was so nosey and bossy. I had one wish but her questions had to come first. I didn't like telling people about how I feel and what I was thinking, it only ever made my breathing race.
"I just-t d-don't lik-ke b-b-being around-d p-people alright-t." I was stuttering again. She always made me scared. More scared then I was when people touched me. Wait. Phil had touched me. Everyone was staring at me before that. Phil had touched me. He had seen me freak out. He must think I'm stupid. But he got help. But he also touched me. No one ever touches me. I let Jane touch me when I'm panicking though. That's different, I have no idea what's going on around me when I panic.
"DAN!" I looked up to see Emily crouched down in front of me, her hands firmly on my shoulders, face only inches away. She was too close. She was touching me. She had promised me that she would never touch me. It was on the first day I got here though, over 8 months ago. Wait, was I doing again?
"DAN! Dan, just focus on me okay. I've just called for Jane. Breathe slowly, with me."
Oh yeah. Wait. Shit.
Hands were on me, someone was shouting at me. I couldn't breathe. I couldn't breathe. I hadn't thought about it in months.
But that's when I lost it.
"No! Get off of me! No!" I shouted. And shouted. Then shouted some more. I could here a faint voice somewhere around me so punched and kicked then screamed and kicked some more.
The room was grey, only lit by a small candle he was holding as he locked the door. "Come 'ere kid!" A voice shouted. I couldn't move. He was drunk. I was not. He was breathing. I was not. That made him better then me. He could hurt me and no one would here my screams. He reached down and pulled me up by the neck. "I had a phone call kid. The education department was wondering why you hadn't been at school. I didn't tell them our secret though. You cause me a lot of unwanted trouble boy, so I have an idea. I get rid of the source." He slurred. I was pushed against the wall, his hand still on my neck. "No!" I screamed "get off of me, don't touch me!" I wriggled and squirmed, trying to escape his grasp. It wasn't working. I could still feel his cold hand around my neck. "I don't like it when you talk back boy. You don't do anything right when you're awake, much easier to work with when you're unconscious and I can be more rough." He kicked my privates and punched my face I few times. "Say good night Danny boy. If this don't kill ya, my dick will."
"No! Get off of me! No!" The room was beginning to fade around me until I couldn't hear my dad's voice anymore.

Then black.