You're Driving Me Mental - Phan

Chapter 10

Dan's POV

"Dan, we're letting you out now okay?" The door opened slowly to reveal Emily dressed in white with a white clip bored. I was pretty sure that if I had to see anymore white I would loose the little sanity I had left. "Come on Dan, up you get. We have to have a little chat." How could she always sound positive? I was keen to know what the 'little chat' was going to be about but I couldn't bring myself to speak. Being without anything or anyone for 3 weeks can do that to you. Communication seemed impossible at that moment in time. She walked over to the corner where my hunched body was and stretched out her hand towards me.

"So Dan, how where you feeling whilst in confinement? Tell me what you where thinking about." Emily had taken me to a large conference room decorated with bright flowers and pastel wallpaper. It was bright, much too bright, but at least it wasn't white. She thought it would be a good idea to avoid the small, white therapy rooms for a while. I was asked a question and was expected to give an answer but I couldn't think of an answer. I had done way too much thinking lately, so I shrugged and kept me eyes on the vivid green carpet. Emily asked a few more question and I ignored her a bit more until she realised that I wasn't going to answer.
"Okay then Dan, moving on. Phil hasn't been eating properly for three weeks and you need someone to help distract you from your thoughts. Because of this, Phil's therapist, Jane and I have all decided that we should try and get you two to stay together. That way, you will both be looking out for each other, helping each other get better. Do you understand?" I had to respond to that question, so I nodded my head. She was forcing me to socialise and help Phil and Jane thought that it was a good idea, I couldn't get my head around that. Everyone knew I didn't like talking to people, especially Jane. "I'm glad you agree Dan. I will be nice for you to talk to people besides me, Jane, Pj and Louise. Well, dinner is just about to start so I expect you to go and find Phil. Can you do that Dan?" She looked sternly at me, as if she didn't believe my answer before I even said it.

I began walking over to my hidden table, clutching my tray of dull chicken and veg.
"Dan! Come over here." I heard Louise's chirpy voice through loud clutter around me. I found her voice at a table against the far wall. Sat at it was her, Pj and Phil. I slowly walked over whilst starring at her viciously. She hadn't done anything wrong, but I really didn't want to be around people yet. Louise patted the empty seat next to her before engulfing me in a hug.

Phil's POV

I tried to avoid watching Louise and Dan hug but my eyes found their way to Dan's face.
"Hi dan how's it going?" Pj asked, smiling as usual.
"Cool cool." Dan replied excitedly. I smile grew on his face as he sat properly in his seat. I stared at him as he picked up his fork and mindlessly stabbed the chicken whilst smiling. Depressed one minuet and rainbows and sunshine the next.
"So Dan. Urm. D-did Emily speak to you about uhhmm-"
"Y-yes-s, n-now eat-t-t or I'll stab-b you w-with my f-fork!" He muttered rather cheerily with his fork aimed at me. It reminded me that he hadn't told me how he ended up there. Louise jabbed her elbow into Dan's side and glared at him painfully before turning to smile sweetly. I picked up my knife and fork slowly but surely. I quickly stabbed at some chicken, stared at it in the hope that it would disappear, then ate it.

Well done Phil
No, really
well done
you are officially a failure now
Fat bastard

With that, I ran out the room, I couldn't stay there anymore. I turned down a corridor and kept running. I ran past many people who have me strange looks but I simply ignored them and kept running. I didn't know where I was going but anywhere without food seemed perfect. Before I knew it, I was sat on the floor in the boys bathroom crying.

So you're a cry baby as well now Phil
What would your parents say
They brought you here because you're mad

I wasn't sure how long I had been sat there but after a while I saw two feet on the ground in front of me.
"A-at least you did it, right?" I looked up to see Dan's pale face looking down at me. I shrugged my shoulders and stared at the small puddle of tears by me.
"We're s-sup-p-posed to look-k aft-ter each other f-from t-today o-on for s-some s-shitty r-r-reason." Dan sat down next to me, keeping a large distance between our fragile bodies.
"Yeah."
"We c-can't even l-look after our s-selves."
"I know."
"How the fuck are we supposed to help each other?" He stuttered
"I don't know Dan, but I'd like to try. Dan, if I ask you something do you promise you won't run away?"
"I c-can't p-promise b-b-but I'll t-try."
"Okay. Why are you here?"
Dan didn't answer. I looked over at him to see that he was slightly shaking. I hadn't noticed how pale he was before. I hadn't properly noticed how fragile and lost he looked before. But I had noticed how gorgeous his eyes where before. But they where scared.
"W-Well, I-It's a long story." He stuttered.
"We have a long time?" I tried to ease him on gently.
Dan looked up at me before he told me his life in a stuttering mess.
"Okay. Well I was hurt I guess and I didn't have anyone to go too. It was years before anyone even suspected anything and by the time I was found, I was a wreck. He was arrested and I was taken to hospital unconscious. He nearly killed me. I didn't want to make him upset but I couldn't do anything. It was always terrifying. Sitting in the dark, knowing he would come downstairs everyday."
The whole time Dan was talking, I stared at him in awe.
"Dan?"
"Y-yeah?" He was shaking. He was crying. He was breathing fast. But I hadn't lost my curiosity in the mass of his pain.
"Who hurt you?"
"My dad."
He was cracked but now he was shattered.
It was there, on the floor in the middle of the boys bathroom at a mental hospital, I realised I could be okay. But then I realised I couldn't without what I just lost. I never knew I had it, but there I realised that the little trust I had from it, was everything it had. That's when it was killed by itself but also another. But I couldn't let it drown forever. I reached out and took Dan's hand in an attempt to pull him out. Little did I know I was only pushing him further under.