Spread Your Wings

Chapter 6

1995, I had a feeling this was the year that something was going to happen. Mum was driving me to Brian's house.

A lot of things had happened since we lost Freddie. Brian, Roger and John decided to celebrate Freddie's life by holding a tribute concert at Wembley Stadium. Thousands of people came, sharing their love for the Great Pretender. I stood backstage throughout the whole production, sobbing my eyes out for the majority of it but it was stunning.

The wounds were still scarring my heart at this point, I hardly talked to anyone. In school, the friends I used to have disappeared from my life. People just knew me as the girl who isn't even related to John Deacon but knows Queen. They think I'm a fraud almost.

For a while after Wembley, we all grew apart for a few months, I didn't even see Felix and Phoebe for several weeks and it was horrible. John wouldn't go outside, he was so depressed. As for mum, she was incredible. She would do everything to keep us going strong.

"So, how's school been? Any better?" Mum asked as we were driving down the road. She was worried about the fact I was alone most of the time and the fact that my grades were slipping.

"Ok." I murmured.

It wasn't fair as both Phoebe and Felix went to different schools. I missed just having a laugh with them. Phoebe did phone me a couple of times recently as she's waiting to find out if she's going to university or not. She was into English literature like my mum is so most of the time, they were talking to each other on the phone so that mum could give her some advice. I often thought, Mum would've probably preferred Phoebe as her daughter. She's smart, beautiful, a hard worker whilst I just hide behind her limelight. But even though she's now 18 and has become a young adult, Phoebe has always been there for me as my best friend so I shouldn't really complain but I can be jealous of her sometimes.

As for Felix, we wrote to each other almost every week. Both Pheobe and Felix when I contacted them complained about their younger siblings. I sometimes wished there was someone else there to talk to. If I was having trouble at school, Felix was worse. He just couldn't concentrate in anything, he was always getting into trouble. At one point, he was close to being expelled. He was confused about what to do. I did feel so sorry for him, I wanted to be there, just to be that person that hugs him and tries to convince him that he's a brilliant person. He was into his cars though, everytime Roger had a new vehicle, he raved about it. He was also into his comic book strips recently, he's planning on writing one himself which I thought was really creative of him, a way to get rid of his anger with everything that's happened recently. He ended every letter the same way, first moaning about what he was about to write was incredibly cheesy and then before he wrote his name in his scruffy handwriting,  you would read,

I miss you more than words could say, Katie Kat.

I guess you can say, he still has his soppy side to him.

I blinked back into reality as I suddenly heard a loud car horn. An elderly woman tried to overtake us in the dual carriageway and was now yelling not so friendly words towards us.

"Bloody cheek!" Mum explained angrily. "I was in the lane, it's people like them I hate being on these roads! No wonder there are so many accidents around here!"

I blanked out once again whilst Mum was trying to explain to me about the rules of car safety. I'm turning 17 in a couple of months although I never like celebrating my birthday anymore. It's haunted by the constant reminder that it will also be the anniversary of Freddie's death. I miss him so much. I often wonder what he would be like right now if he was alive and healthy. Pull yourself together Katie Kat! You should be happy that you're young my dear! I'm turning 50 soon and I'm not as fit or as fabulous as I used to be you know, darling!