He's Your Penguin

Chapter Two

In your life, you meet people. Some you never think about again. Some, you wonder what happened to them. There are some that you wonder if they ever think about you. And then there are some you wish you never had to think about again. But, you do. You thought about Mark quite often since he's moved. You were worried when he never answered any texts or calls on his trip down to California. It had been months, and still nothing from him. Wasn't he the one to say, "keep in touch?" Well, you were trying.

Those few months soon turned into years, and you still thought about him everyday. You wish you didn't sometimes-- it had hurt too much. Mark hadn't messaged you at all, it was as if he'd dropped off the face of the Earth. Where could he possibly be? Did he get swallowed up in Hollywood; did he- oh god, you couldn't bare to think about him being dead. No, no, he couldn't be. Not your Markimoo, he was smart. He wouldn't get himself killed. You shook your head and turned off the light next to your bed.

You were in college, studying to become a Illustrator major and Photographer minor- You needed to finish up some fine tuning on a comic strip you needed to turn in for one of your many classes tomorrow. You sighed, and plugged in your headphones in the computer and clicked to YouTube to find some music to relax you. Everytime you thought about him, your whole body would tense up. You wished things were different. Music usually heleped.

A messaged popped up on the lower right of the screen. Your friend was messaging you from a few dorm rooms down. The RA's at the dorms said that you weren't allowed to be in the same room as someone you know, that way you can get to know other people better. Your roommate was currently out partying like most college students right now. You clicked the small chat box, seeing her sending a smiley face with a link. You raised an eyebrow at that, clicking it. It was a YouTube link.

A video started immediatly, but first, with one of those stupid, annoying advertisments. You rolled your eyes and switched over to ArtRage Studio and continued coloring your comic. You jumped slightly when you heard a deep voice ring through your ears, and you figured the video started. You switched back over to Google Chrome/ YouTube with a small gasp.

He looked different, but you knew it was him. You've known him all your life (except the past few years)-- you'd be able to point him out in a crowded room.

"M-mark," You breathed his name out, putting a hand over your mouth to keep in any other words that might flow out. You didn't want to cry, but you couldn't stop the tears that dripped from your eyes and down your cheeks. You missed him. It's been years. He left and never said a thing and suddenly pops up on YouTube? You listen to the video, hearing him talking about his past and everything else. He was drawing on a small white board, addressing his fans that he had about his life so they could understand better. You smile, but couldn't help let out a small sob when he mentioned you. You could tell it was you, even though he used a fake name to protect you.

"You're such a goof," You laugh a little, wiping your tears. Like his fans were gonna know who you were; You were a nobody compared to him now. But, this left you with some questions. Why hasn't he replied to you and or called you in four years? Has he been doing YouTube this whole time? Is that where he's been? You click onto his channel, seeing there was a livestream going on at the moment.

"At this time of night?" You ask him, knowing he couldn't hear you. "Oh, right. Time zones, duh. I'm the real idiot," You click on the video, and he's talking to the camera while playing a cute, little farming game called, "Stardew Valley". You've heard of this game before, and Mark seemed to really enjoy it. You felt the water again then- seeing him in actual time instead in that video he'd posted a few years ago. You couldn't help but feel those tears and the ocean pool in your head again. Your head raced with thoughts.

Until, one thought struck a hole in that ocean, letting all the water drain. You grabbed your phone, and called his number again. If this was real, and his number was still his, then his phone would go off in the video. You bit at your lip nervously- watching him. You sat up a little bit when you saw him jump slightly at his phone vibrating.

"Hang on, guys," He smiles at the camera, and turns his head to look at, what you could assume to be, his phone. He frowns and ignores it.

Your heart sank down; The water that just drained down that hole, taking your broken heart along with it. You closed the browser and set the computer down on the floor a bit roughly. You couldn't believe he just ignored you. You couldn't believe he has been ignoring you for all these years. If he was moving to get away from you, then fine. He should have just said it. Not just befriend you and stick with you then decide to leave.

There's nothing worse than losing who you thought was your best friend. They just wake up one morning and decide they don't like you anymore and just leave you. Ignore you, hurt you. Break promises, and forget all those memories. It's truly sad, especially when you did nothing wrong. You wished circumstances were different, that your story with him wasn't caught between heaven and hell. Everything that was bigger than you two, wasn't. Because when you looked at him, nothing felt bigger than you both. You wish you had the time to just breathe him in again. But, the two of you were a shore and sea, pulled apart endlessly.

"Don't worry about my feelings though, Mark. Nobody ever did,"

You didn't know what it was about him. Maybe it was the way nothing else mattered when he was talking, or how he made you smile more than anyone else has ever could. It could be the way he said the right things at the right moments. But, whatever it was, you wanted him to know it meant everything to you. Because, when you're up at one in the morning, your head swimming with thoughts-- you think back to what he told you. That he always loved you, that you meant everything to him. He loved every aspect of your entire being, yet he refuses to see its existence now.

Why?

Your mind wanders. You tend to think about something that happened five years ago, or something that had happened two hours ago, or something that could happen ten years from now. Your mind was full of beautiful, yet, awful thoughts. Your mind continued to wander, an hour later. You think back to the good times you had with him, trying to forget about the current, negative ones that were flowing through your head. They made you smile, they made you cry. You both had been through a lot together.

"There's plenty of fish in the sea, you have to remember that," Your friend down the hall would tell you. You had frequent break downs after Mark had left. They didn't happen as often now. You esentially just wanted your best friend back.

"Yeah," You say, as she witnesses your heartbroken tears fall. "But, have you ever wondered if someone wasn't a fish? Like, maybe they were the whole ocean?"

That small memory from when you first moved to the college you're attending right now, triggered something in your head. You realized that over those years, you had fallen in love with him. Nobody had treated you better than he has. He's always made you feel special, wanted, and needed-- as if you were the most important thing on this planet.

It's hard not to fall in love with someone, especially when they see the mixed up parts of your soul, when they understand the darkest and dustiest corners of your mind. When it's four a.m. and they call, because they know you're not asleep.

And that's when your phone plays a familiar song. One that you haven't heard since he moved. You checked it, the time being exactly 4 a.m, and his bright and smiling face from four years ago was on your lock screen, standing there with you.

You ignored the call, just like he did those many times.

"What makes this call so different?"