I Pray for Death

Chapter Eight

“Hey.”  Grayson said as he sat on the swing next to me.

“Hey.”  We sat in silence for a few minutes, staring at the stars and the dark woods in front of us.  The shadows cast by the trees shielded us from the bright light of the new moon.  The woods would have seemed spooky to some but I thought they were beautiful.  I often came out here and stared into them waiting to catch a glimpse of any movement of the leaves or small creatures that lived there.  

I glanced at Grayson and saw him staring at me.  “You’re not swinging.”  

I shook my head and said, “I used to come out here for peace more than anything, the swinging made me feel free but right now, I feel more freedom than I’ve ever felt.  I know they are just a few yards away but I also know I have somewhere else to escape to now.”  

He nodded and turned his attention to the dark house next door.  “Will you tell me what happened?”  

I shook my head, not because I didn’t want to tell him but because I didn’t want him to have to relive his own nightmares.  “Grayson, what’s going to happen in the morning at the police station?”  

He sighed and ran a hand though his hair.  “You will have to tell them everything that has gone on.  They’ll want to see the evidence and take pictures.”  

I didn’t like the thought of someone taking pictures of my scarred and starved body.  I closed my eyes, leaned back in the swing and pushed off the ground.  The cool wind blew past me and a second later, I felt Grayson start swinging next to me.  It was nice to have someone beside me.  The last person to swing next to me had been Shayde.  She had loved to fly high and take grand leaps into the air; that would scare me to death.  I could see some similarities between Grayson and Shayde.  The love of life and the urge to help someone who was down, seemed to pour from their souls.  Kind eyes and smiles always made Shayde seem angelic and I saw the same in Grayson.  

I turned to look at him and watched as he swung back and forth at half the speed I did.  He watched with an apprehensive look on his face as I flew high into the air.  I gave him a tiny smile as I remembered his fear of heights.  He was brave and strong but swinging too high scared him, it was kind of funny but also showed he was human and had fears like the rest of us.  I slowed down and came to a stop next to him.  

He was everything I had dreamed about as a young girl looking for her prince and I could feel my heart opening to him.  I reigned in my feelings, knowing my heart was trying to fall for him.  I didn’t want to attach myself to Grayson because he saved me.  He had only been doing what he felt he had to do.  If I saw someone in my condition, I would want to help him or her too.  I wasn’t going to let myself be foolish and fall in love with him when I knew he would not return the feelings.  There was no way anyone could ever love a broken and scarred girl like me and Grayson deserved so much better than anything I could ever give him.  

“Why did no one report this sooner?  I mean, didn’t you have friends that saw the changes and want explanations?”  Grayson’s deep voice startled me out of my thoughts and I turned back to him.  His dark eyes were boring into mine and gave me the feeling he was trying to look into my soul.  

There seemed to be no getting around it, he wanted his own explanations.  I heaved a sigh and turned back to the woods.  I couldn’t face him; I didn’t want to see the pity he would have for me when I told him.  “I had a few close friends but after my sister died when I was fourteen, I closed them out of my life.  I didn’t talk to them at school and after a while, they learned that calling my house was useless.  My mother always answered and said I wasn’t allowed to use the phone anymore, a few weeks past before they stopped trying to talk to me.  I don’t blame them, it was my fault, and I just couldn’t look them in the face and lie about being okay.”