I Pray for Death

Chapter Fourteen

The two weeks following were wonderful.  I might have been stuck indoors but I didn’t lack for things to do.  Catching up on missed homework took the most time but Grayson was there to help me.  I ate until I felt as if I was going to explode and put on some much needed weight.  It wasn’t much but just a few pounds looked a lot better on my skinny frame.  

Grayson and I became closer and closer.  The incessant snow kept him home from school until Christmas vacation.  He was always there to help me when I needed it and to make me laugh.  His fun personality came through more each day.  We even did the project we were assigned weeks ago in first period.  He was sweet and kind and I loved him more everyday.

During one of the first days of Christmas vacation, I went back to the doctor’s office to have my casts cut off.  It was a relief to be able to move and walk even if I was unsteady on my feet.  I was given a clean bill of health and to celebrate Hope and Faith took us all to a local restaurant.  It would have been one of the best experiences of my life if it hadn’t been for the stares of the other patrons.  Apparently, my story had been front page worthy and now everyone in town knew what happened to me.  I was thankful no one had the courage to come talk to me.  To them I was barely human, I was just a story and a person they overlooked in everyday life.  In the end it didn’t matter, I had my new family and a new home where I felt safe.

At home that night I practiced walking with Grayson as my spotter.  I would laugh every time my knees went weak and Grayson would make a grab for me.  

“Be careful, you’re scaring the crap out of me!”  He said as he grabbed me and held on to steady me.  “Why don’t I just walk with you?  Or why don’t you put on your snowsuit and we’ll go outside?  We could swing.”  

“Okay!”  I said excitedly.  I hadn’t been swinging in weeks.  I grabbed the snowsuit Hope gave me and slid into it.  It hung off my body but it would keep me warm.  Grayson disappeared to put his own on and I walked down the hall using the walls for support.  He met me in the living room and holding onto my waist, led me out into the snow.  It was dark but the moon was high and reflecting off the snow creating a winter wonderland with a light snow flowing around us, and our breaths made white clouds of vapor in the frigid air.  He guided me across the thick snow and brushed off the swing that I called mine.  I sat and tilted my head back to look at the snow falling and the dark clouds covering the sky.  

“It’s beautiful.”  I whispered and gently moved the swing back and forth.  

“Yeah, it is.”  He breathed back but he was only looking at me.  I glanced away quickly feeling my face flame in a blush.  I felt like a fool for thinking he would be talking about me.  My hollow cheeks might have filled out some but I was far from beautiful.  The scars on the inside were healing with every passing day but the scars on the outside would never fade enough for me to be called beautiful.

“Are you excited about Christmas?”  Grayson asked, pulling me out of my morose thoughts.

“Yeah, I am.  Don’t get me anything, okay.  I can’t get you anything, so don’t worry about getting me anything.”  I said, giving him a serious look.  I figured he would argue but he simply nodded and went back to looking at the moon.  

“It doesn’t bother you being out here?”  He asked a few minutes later.  

I thought for a second, remembering that not a couple hundred of feet away I had been beaten and left for dead, then in the other direction I had been punished for two years for something I wasn’t responsible for.  

“No, not really, this was always my safe place and as long as you’re here the memories aren’t that bad.”  I clamped my mouth shut quickly, realizing what I had just confessed.  I glanced at Grayson to see a tiny smile and a nod in my direction.