I Pray for Death

Chapter Sixteen

“Grayson!” I gasped out as the moonlight glinted off the ruby heart in the center of the ring.  It was beautiful, tiny hands clasped the heart from either side making up the band and a crown sat atop the heart.  “Why would you get this for me?” I asked, staring at it but not reaching for it.

“It’s a Claddagh ring, it stands for friendship, loyalty and …love.” he whispered and extended it closer.  My mouth dropped open and my eyes slammed up to his.  My heart was beating so fast I thought it would explode from my chest.  I tried to calm down by telling myself he had said friendship and loyalty first.  He even hesitated before saying love.  

“Why would you get this for me Grayson?” I asked once more.  I prayed he loved me.  

He smiled and pushed his swing closer to mine.  He set the ring box in my hand and laid his hands on either side of my face.  Looking deep in my eyes, he said the thing I was waiting for, “I love you, Memory.  I think I fell in love with you the first time I saw you.  When you were in the hospital, I thought that if you died I wanted to go with you because there would be nothing left here for me.”  

Tears welled in my eyes for the hundredth time that day.  “I know you need time and I’m willing to give it to you but I want you to wear my ring in the meantime.”  He said.   

I opened my mouth to speak but the words lodged in my throat.  I lifted the box and pulled the ring from its tiny velvet pillow.  Grayson retracted his hands and watched me.  I then laid the ring in his hand and offered my own.  

“I don’t need time, all I need is you.” I whispered and watched his face light up.  He took my left hand and slid it on my ring finger.  He lifted my hand and kissed the ring as if he was sealing it there forever.  “I love you Grayson.” I said with clarity and vulnerable honesty.  

He suddenly jumped up and pulled me with him, hugging me tight.  I snuggled close, relishing the warmth and depth of my feelings for this man.  He pulled back a minute amount and wiped the happy tears from my face.  The love he had for me was shining in his eyes, now that I knew what I was seeing and I was sure mine were the same.  We stood in the snow, tiny snowflakes drifting around us, smiling with the happiness we found in each other.  

 He leaned down and gently placed his lips on mine.  The kiss only lasted a second as if he was afraid he would scare me off.  “I’m not scared, I could never be afraid of you.” I said as I pulled his head back down to mine.  “I love you.” I breathed against his lips and that was all it took to reassure him.  His lips coved mine and a feeling of utter joy filled me.  It was my first kiss so I really didn’t know what I was doing but I made up for skill with enthusiasm.  He pulled me closer, our lips meshed into one and I could feel his heart beating hard against my chest.  My own was beating right along with it.  

As we pulled back in unison, his lips trailed up my face to my forehead.  “I love you so much Memory.”  He said.  I smiled up at him and felt the strongest urge to laugh, to run through the night screaming and twirling in the snow until I was sick from the movement.  The happiness I felt went unrivaled for any other moment in my life so far.   We played in the snow until our faces and hands were frozen.  He pulled me into another kiss before we went inside, his frozen lips touching mine in the gentlest way.

***

That night as I lay in bed, I stared at the ring on my finger, memorizing what it looked like and how it felt to wear it and to know that Grayson loved me.  My heart still hammered in my chest as I thought of the kisses we shared and the happiness I felt.  If it hadn’t been for Grayson and his kind, loving ways I would be dead right now.  I was certain I would have jumped from the school roof that day.  The way I loved him went far beyond the fact he had saved me.  He was real; he was sweet, funny, kind and always there for me.  The time I spent with him only made the feelings I felt for him stronger.  Everyday I came to know him better, my love for him grew.