Behind Closed Doors

No Getting in or Out

A week later I was in complete health and had to go to Aiden's funeral. I wore all black. Which consisted of black jeans, black vans, and a black button down along with a charcoal colored overcoat, almost like Sherlock Holmes' jacket. Margaret and Angie said they'd take me. We were already full of tears by the time we got there. Dan said he'd meet us there. He was on crutches and had a brace for his wrist.

When we came in, the casket was open. He looked almost like plastic. He was stiff and had his eyes closed. I'd never see his dark brown hair, or his black glasses. I'd never see his beautiful brown eyes..or feel his warm hands and smell his chocolate mint lotion.

Some of my friends from school came, and some of his..I didn't really know them, but they offered their sympathy. My mom didn't go since she didn't know Aiden well. Margaret spoke a bit, Angie spoke a lot, and I spoke a bit. The man who worked there closed the casket and I fell to the ground crying, knowing I'd never see his face in person again. Before we left the funeral home, I put my hand on the closed, mahogany colored casket. "I'll be back for you, I promise."

And then I went into Margaret's car to drive to where her son was supposed to be buried. It became cloudy once we were outside again. There were dark gray and purple clouds covering up the beautiful sun I had once known when Aiden was alive.

It was slightly breezy; sweater wheather as some people call it. The closed casket was carried out by his uncle and three cousins up the green and grassy hill.

At most funerals you see in movies and television consist of a silent walk towards the grave sight, then interupted by cries as the body would lower six feet beneath our living and breathing bodies. And then someone would fall to the ground, crying an reaching for the casket while other people showed their sympathy by dropping roses or any type of flower on top of the casket, and then we'd all leave.

And that's exactly what happened. Margaret, Angie, and I fell to our knees as he descended lower and lower. Margaret yelled at the sky, cursing God for bringing him into this world then take him back. She reached so low into the ground, the priest had to pull her back.

As the roses were being given away to drop on the casket, one of the thorns pierced the side of my finger. I winced in the green chair I sat in as a small bit of blood tricked down my wrist. I wiped it off with my jacket, then mentally noting to wash the jacket when I had the opportunity.

As people walked down the hill with small and quiet cries, Angie, Dan, Margaret, and I were still on the hill grieving for Aiden. At the moment, I just wanted to be held by Aiden right now, being told that everything would be alright. I remember him hugging me so close I could smell his hair and his body scent that was mixed with the smell of mint chocolate.

As we were half way down the hill and still crying, Angie and I glanced at each other, but then continued into a stare. Out of no where, we engulfed each other into each other's arms and cried on each other's shoulders. She put one hand on against my lower back while the other was on the back of my head.

And I knew, that after that long and depressing hug, Angie, Dan, and Margaret would be like another family to me.