Monotone | ✔️

Chapter Nine

I remembered the tired events I had heard the other day in result of my eavesdropping, the words spoken impacting my mind in bright clarity. Yet it seemed the words 'bright' and 'clarity' heralded the wrong connotations. The sentences I had heard were not good not positive, yet a stark opposite. They didn't trust me. We were running out of food. We were being hunted by our enemies. We would have to flee our current establishment - a threshold I had come to adore.

So, when the time came for the others to inform me of these woes, it was not difficult to express a distraught demeanour. Though, I struggled to meet their gazes. Obviously, they had evaded telling me the fact they still didn't trust me. How could I hold their eyes level when I knew I was a mere enemy? Not a compatriot, not a friend - a petty fiend. Constantly, I found my hands working desperately in my lap at a wrought struggle, twisting and turning, reflecting my ever troubled mind.

I remembered the tears that had briefly escaped my eyes before I dozed into a disturbed sleep, remembered how I felt like I didn't belong, that I never should have left... The doubts had clouded my mind like ominous, foreboding clouds, crackling like a demonic creature. I felt like someone on Death Row, ready to face the electric chair, just as they had taught us in class, in History. After these lessons I had vastly contemplated how our ancestors lived with the most basic technology. Even after the abolition of dire punishments, spiralling into the 21st century, they had only been equipped with phones and computers, a few drones and robots here and there. Was life simpler back then, or harder?

Oh look at me: once again living in the past. Our memories made us who we were, and I had to accept that. I couldn't stop the fact my parents had been figuratively brainwashed. I couldn't change the paths of time, however much I desired to. I was just another weak human, hoping to atone for whatever crimes I had committed, hoping to leave a legacy in my wake.

Would I ever achieve this goal? Or would I reach my inevitable demise yonks before that occasion ever aroused? It seemed this ever-present storm was making a frenzied appearance in my mind. Would I be better off if I stayed with my parents? Would I be better off just being a normal citizen in this corrupted society, unknowingly doting and obedient, my mind not my mind but property of a higher being? I was discombobulated, caught in a tornado of whirling confusion, wishes, questions...

Hoping a task would take my mind off these clouding thoughts, my feet led me down the tunnel toward the supplies/training sector, my feet echoing in a hollow manner on the slimy ground. Jay was right; I was no longer repulsed by the smell that crawled permanently into one's senses, yet accustomed to the thick odour. But I would have to leave in the coming weeks...

"Hey, Tempest." Jay said as I came into view, shadows tainting the skin under his beautiful optics. His auburn hair was disheveled upon his cranium, lips turned into a slight frown, seemingly stuck in that position whatever mood he was experiencing. The news was taking a toll on all of us.

"Hey." I replied. "Is there anyway I can help? I know -" I know you don't trust me but can I at least try to be in your favour "-I'm probably not the best person to help you with this, but can I help you? I feel useless, sitting on my bed... And I have healed. Whatever you gave me really help." Although I partially sugar - coated my words, my latter statement was true. Although the majority of the wounds I had obtained we're currently swathed in bandages, pain rarely splintered my being. It appeared Jay was the apparent medic.

He nodded, stepping back to give me a better view of the supplies we were handling, as well as a bundle of backpacks. He handed me one of the packs. It was a simple, yet practical, design, seemingly sturdy and appropriate for most weather. Looking inside, it also appeared rather spacious. "We have a plan for how we're going to do this. You're going to have a backpack, Robyn and I will, and Chris will have a larger backpack so he can also carry most of the food. What you need to do is basically fill it with whatever you think you'll need. Weapons, ammo, clothes, a tin or two of food just in case we get separated. You know, the basics." Jay sounded tired. Flourishing his hand in an offhand manner, he continued rifling through a crate, a half - full backpack balanced by his side.

Nodding, I started the task, enjoying the simplicity of the actions. Find something useful, put it in the bag. Find something useful, put it in the bag...

"Hmm. You like Sainsbury, then?" I murmured, holding up a can of baked beans, branded with the familiar symbol of the old English company. He only replied with a shrug. Nevertheless, I continued talking, "Just imagine us, strolling through the aisles with a shopping troll. You and Robyn could ride in the little basket..." I laughed, though the action seemed a little strained. It seemed odd, that if we had stuck to the status quo, that silly, hypothetical image could be reality. Unknowingly, a lump appeared in my throat. I yearned simplicity, was wistful for a normal schedule amongst friends... Yet that was as far away as the stars. No matter how much I reached, my fingers would never brush the dreams I created. Holding back this sudden emotion, I looked across at Jay. He was laughing, smiling.

At first, the action was rather odd. I had never seen such a radiant, positive emotion displayed on his face, but one would expect frequent jovial splendour of adolescent features. Yet soon I found my smile replenished, my laugher forming once again, if ascertaining a slightly hysterical edge. It felt good to laugh after so many days of darkness - literally - my world devoid of any contrasting light. Briefly, in that moment, all my worries left me, and I expect they too left my companion. We were young adults, giggling over a stupid joke, an image I wish was rendered possible.

{ Heya everyone who has decided to still continue reading my chaste story! Remember to read, vote, comment and enjoy!! }