Bound by Glass

33| Some Things Never Change

"She doesn't know me," Vace said, as his hand slowly left my back.

"Oh yes, she does," I said, focussing on the wall in front of me, "I saw the look in your eyes the moment you saw her. I know that look. It's the same look I make when I'm caught doing something I wasn't supposed to do. Like, I don't know, take my rations early or something. Someone catches me, and I just know that they know I did something wrong. It's that face." I closed my eyes. Stop rambling.

Vace stayed silent.

"Come on. It's not like she could be your lover or something. She is like, what, mid-thirty?" I said, trying to coax it out of him by teasing him. I found that that always worked with Kael. "Except if you're into that, of course. I won't judge," I said, shrugging. "I mean, back home we had someone who preferred—"

What am I even trying to say? I thought, abruptly shutting my mouth to stop the stream of words, Just spit it out.

For some odd reason I felt nervous. Like I shouldn't know. I took a deep breath to ask him again, but he gave me an answer before I could speak.

"I can't tell you."

I turned around completely, folding my arms over my bare chest. I had to look him in the eye. "What? Why not?"

He quickly averted his gaze, as he forced himself to look another way. "I—I just can't, Tenna," he stuttered, staring at the ceiling. He turned around, grabbing my tank top and handed it to me. He still had his gaze turned away, as he said; "Please, put something on."

I grabbed the top, pulling it over my head. "Refusing to tell me is probably worse than the truth. Why won't you just tell me how she knows you?"

"Tenna, I—"

"You still don't trust me, do you?" I said, taking a step back. This wasn't the reaction I had wanted to provoke. "That's why you still have my dagger. That's why I still can't know the full extent of your vague plans. Even when I've put my life in your hands and am risking my head at those dammed balls!" I turned my head away, disappointment washing over me. "You still don't trust me," I said softly, more to myself than to him.

"Tenna, I do trust you. We all do. This is just—" he exhaled loudly, raking a hand through his ink black hair. He rubbed a hand over his mouth, and I could already see a slight stubble on his cheeks. "Not now, okay?"

"Fine," I hissed, not believing a word he had just said. "I guess I'll just leave, then."

I walked out of the room, leaving Vace behind. Somehow, that boy was able to get on every single one of my nerves. It annoyed the hell out of me, even more because I couldn't do anything about it.

I had nowhere to go. I wanted to know more about this Thorne woman. It didn't seem like I was going to get more out of Vace.

I groaned loudly as I walked through the unit, finally ending up at the front door. Or the back door. I still didn't know.

Screw it, I thought, yanking open the door and stepping into the commotion outside. I was greeted by the now oh-so familiar clangs and clashes, cries and whispers and that blasted ever-present machine hum. Where the hell did that come from, actually?

I took a deep breath, walking over to the railing. I curled my fingers around the metal bar, my knuckles turning white as I forced myself to look down into the gaping abyss below me, in an attempt to cool myself down. I tried to look as long as I could, but my courage soon failed me. I exhaled loudly as I turned around, my hands clammy with sweat.