Long Ago // Connor McDavid

Nine

I rummaged through the millions of lipsticks I owned looking for just the right one. None seemed to go with what I was wearing, which was a black dress, the easiest thing to match stuff with.

I got fed up and settled for a nude colour from Mac, dabbing it all over my lips and then proceding to rub it in.

I stepped back and looked at myself in the mirror, fluffing up my blond hair and staring at my reflection. I had no idea why I was stressing over my appearance so much, it must have been the nerves.

Somewhat satisfied with my appearance, I flicked off the light in my bathroom and headed to my closet where I grabbed my black heels which completed my outfit. I stepped back and looked at myself once again in my full body mirror. By black t shirt dress fit nicely and showed of my muscular gymnast legs, along with the heels giving me some extra height, which was always needed. I stared at myself for awhile, getting lost in my complexion, before grabbing my sparkly clutch and sitting myself on the end of my bed, waiting for the doorbell to ring, indicating Connor was here.

I picked at some lose threads on my fluffy white throw blanket, the material feeling weird under my acrylic nails. I ran over how I hoped the conversation would play out for probably the 100th time that day, I was extremely nervous and I wasn't too sure why, all I knew was that I couldn't wait any longer to tell Connor the news.

The doorbell rang from downstairs, and I grabbed my phone from its charger, the time read 6:30pm, which didn't suprise me as Connor was almost always right on time.

I felt a wave of panic hit me as I rushed down the stairs, my hands starting to get sweaty as I gripped my phone and clutch for dear life. I kept breathing heavily, panting was more like it, I needed to calm down or else Connor would be freaked out and confused, and with that I grabbed the handle on the door and turned it, revealing my boyfriend.

"Hey baby" he ever so quietly greeted as he leaned in for a hug.

I wrapped my arms tightly around him, and as soon as he began to pull away I felt yet another wave of dread coming.

He kept his hand rested on my lower bicep, the aftermath of the hug. He looked me up and down before a smile came across his charming face.

"Shit, do you look good" he chuckled.

I gave him a slight eye roll along with a smirk, turning on my heels to grab the keys from the hall table. I felt his stare on me, something that I don't think anyone can ever get used too, whether your in a relationship with the person or not.

Feeling my face heat up and the sweat still forming on my palms, I turned around and walked past Connor and his stare, opening the door for us to leave into the summer night.

The traffic was heavy, unusual for this time of day in Erie. Connor gripped my hand tightly as he drove, the usual. I tried to not hold my grip too tight, as I'm sure Connor wouldn't appreciate a clammy hand in his.

Once we hit Trembly Street, where the restaurant was located, the actual panic was in full mode. I wasn't necessary nervous, but more the less anxious. I frantically looked out the window, my eyes meeting the bright lights that lit up the dark street. I suddenly had forgotten everything I had planned on saying, and how I planned on saying it.

By now I figured I had licked off all my lipstick, a bad habit I had of licking and biting my lips when under stress. I slowly undid my seatbelt and made my way out of the car, almost losing my balance in the process.

By now Connor was half way up the street. Unsure of why he was hauling ass, I picked up my paste, only than realizing how slow I was being, for obvious reasons.

The night flew by faster than I had hoped. Before I knew it our food was already here and our conversation had died down a little. Connor practically inhaled his pasta, drinking a bunch of water to try and kill the burning sensation from the spices.

I took a few bites of my pasta, feeling unable to eat anymore until Connor knew what was eating away at me. I twisted my fork around, looking back and forth at Connor, who didn't seem to really notice. I sighed at myself and how pathetic I was being. I needed to just do this.

"Connor" I began, setting my fork of pasta down.

"Yeah?" He looked at me questioning, taking yet another sip of his large class of water.

I looked around the dimly lit restaurant, it was buzzing, yet Connor and I were set to a quiet table to the side. I looked back up at him, his gaze still firmly on me.

I set my hands on my lap, queching them in a fist as I fiddled with my nails.

"I accepted my offer to U of E" I finally let out.

It was than the wave of panic and stress had finally left, but now the feeling of dread and regret was highly upon me. Instantly regretting my bold statement.

Connor raised his eyebrows slightly, setting his glass of water down just than.

"You did? Holl that's great" he said in his monotone like voice, yet I was still able to feel his excitement.

It felt like it took me years to respond, and before I could think of anything else, I just nodded, giving him a light smile.

"I'm so proud of you. Are you excited?" He leaned over the table to extend his hand, indicating he wanted to hold mine.

I finally let my hand out of the fist and set my hand in his large one. I noticed he had a smile on his face, waiting patiently for my response. It was than that I felt relieved unsure of why I made such a big deal about it, what the hell was I thinking could happen?

"Yeah. Yeah, I really am actually" I gave him a genuine smile. I actually did feel happy and excited about it.

"Thats great, and it's the University of Edmonton too". He said with a smirk.

I shot my head up, looking him deadly in the eye. I didn't know how he intended that to come across. Did he mean for it to be said like that? Almost indicating that we would be together in the upcoming year? However he intended it, it came across that way, making me feel even more at ease with the dession that I had made. Leaving me too feel satisfied and extremely happy, once and for all.