AuroraClan as Pretty Much Everything

My Hand (11:00 Thoughts of Paranoia)

Paranoia- a mental condition characterized by delusions of persecution, unwarranted jealousy, or exaggerated self-importance, typically elaborated into an organized system.

So I can't sleep. There's like a storm or something going on outside. And lucky for me, I'm going through one of my paranoid, afraid-of-everything phases.

I'm doing this because I'm literally unable to close my eyes rather than just to blink.

This is mostly just a note to myself, but if you really want to waste your time reading this, go ahead and delve into my fear-world.

So I'm staring at my hand.

And typing.

But I was staring at my hand and

Ew

My hand is gross.

My hand doesn't look gross but I feel like it's gross

I haven't clipped my fingernails in a while

They're gross I should really do that in the morning

I don't like loud noises.

My hand is gross and cold now

gg self

I want to wash it

So badly

Germs are gross

Germs are everyone

where*

Bacteria

Ugh

I hope you burn

Earlier there was a large spider in my room and my mom killed it for me but I still feel infected

My hand is so cold it's becoming difficult to type

Ugh so many difficulties

I'm literally typing whatever I say in my head right now

Okay so I just said something in my head and it was so intense that I edited it out of the book

Well no

I'll just say it

Eliza, I hope that you burn

MY HAND IS FREAKING GROSS

What happens when we die?

What if we just vanish?

What if this is our only chance...

Part of me thinks I should edit that out too but nah

Naw

UGH

But like, what if the Yellowstone super volcano erupted?

The ash would likely block out the sun

And we'd all die

Actually lava would probably be like flowing down the streets in my city

I should move to New Mexico faster

I really should edit that out as well, shouldn't I?

I really should edit this out of the entire book

It's probably ruining it

It's ruining me

I'm already ruined

My hand is ruined

I'm doing nothing with my lie

Wow that typo

My life is a lie

Can I vent here?

Well yeah I can because y'all don't have to read this if ya don't want to

So I'll vent

Nevermind I just made a few paragraphs and then deleted them.

That shows how I'm doing nothing with my life

I put effort into things and it all goes to waste because I highlighted it all in blue and pressed backspace.

Should I even publish this?

Ugh, you know what? I'm going to publish it and I'll get hate for it and I'll just live with it because I'm already hated enough that it doesn't hurt anymore.

Just kidding.

It totally does.

But I really don't care.

I'm tried now.

And the little voice in my head is screaming go to bed.

Wait that rhymed.

I'm a natural poet.

No.

Okay I'll just publish this and collapse in my bed.

And die.

Slowly.