smut journal ; jeon jungkook

three

; when he asks me why i write smut

his dorm is in building A, which is filled with the most luxurious dorm rooms. it's kind of an obvious thing anyways, as his father is the dean of the college. when i stand inside his dorm and watch his automatic blinds unfold themselves to reveal the spectacular view of the entire campus stretching out and how everything looks like a beautiful city, i almost choke on my breath. it reminds me of home.

"do you ever get bored or lonely here? i mean, this space is ten times the size of my dorm." he stands beside me, admiring the view as i am. i see the campus lights reflecting dimly in his eyes and i want to mewl at how beautiful he looks. why wouldn't everyone want a masterpiece like him?

"i don't spend much time here, so no, not really." i nod even though he's not looking at me. "and just out of curiosity, why do you write smut?" 

his question makes me stiffen on the spot and i avert my gaze slowly towards him, to catch him already staring at me as if i was the better view.

"why do i write smut? i write it because it's fun." i tell him simply, hoping his one question won't lead to another. but hoping doesn't get you any where.

"you think sex is fun?" he laughs, rubbing his hands together and turning his body to face me. the dim lights illuminate his face, but it's not long after he claps twice and the entire living space is lightened.

"no! no! oh wait, no. no i mean it probably is but—" he cuts me off and takes a step closer to me.

"you just get better every single time you speak. you're a virgin, are you not erina?" i take a step backwards and want to occupy myself to avoid his question. praying and hoping to something or someone that i will receive a text or call to help me leave.

"are you a virgin?"

"uh ... yeah. yeah." i say almost shamefully. "and i also have to go now, it's getting late." i wish i had a watch to back me up, but i don't, and the only thing that's backing up is me, every single step he takes forward naturally causes me to take a step back, only until my back is pressed against the cold, corner glass window.

"are you scared right now?" he smirks seductively and if i were to guess what he was hearing right now, i would like to bet a million dollars it's the rapid and extreme thumping of my heart beat.

"i want to kiss you erina." i don't answer but he moves in and inches closer to my lips, but he still doesn't kiss me. "can i kiss you?"

when i am finally able to process it all, and my ability to think rational thoughts without them disintegrating within each second, i realise what he's doing.

he's acting out one of my smut stories,
smut 15; sex above the city

maybe we're not against each other on a big window that spreads a view of the night city, but we're close enough.

now, with each passing second i feel like my sanity  is being pulled further and further away from me. because i am fully aware and prepared for the next words that slip out of my mouth.

"kiss me. then i want you to make me feel good."