Disharmony

Whatever It Takes

Xavier Spiers was a dead man.

He had been anticipating his downfall for about a week, but it wasn't the actual event itself that was causing him tension; it was the fact that he had yet to tell Kasia. Despite his confession that he was falling in love with her – which he knew had completely freaked her out – things between the two of them had never been better, probably because his confession had changed absolutely nothing. She had been grateful that he hadn't pressured her into responding and the fact that he'd said those words was soon forgotten and things between them had gone back to normal.

It wasn't as though he expected her to say them back anytime soon anyway. He was well aware that her last relationship had left her plenty jaded, so he was fine with just expressing his own emotions and waiting for her to be ready to do the same.

But he was afraid that her feelings for him would change once she found out what he did.

In retrospect, it had been a pretty stupid idea. Sure, he could say he had done it because he loved her and he knew it could make her happy in the long term, but the fact that he understood her so well meant that he also knew she wouldn't see it that way. Kasia had never been about the long term: her emotions were entirely invested in the here and now, which meant her reaction to his actions would be entirely filled with anger.

It had taken him all of five minutes after making the call to realize how idiotic that decision had been and seeing as he had only left a voicemail; he had hoped that there would simply be no response. But a week before, he'd gotten confirmation that his message had been received and now he was sitting on an amp on the side of the stage as he watched Kasia soundcheck, wondering how he had managed to ruin the best thing that had ever happened to him in such a short amount of time.

He knew he had to tell her: keeping it a secret until it actually happened served no purpose to anyone. Besides, if she knew beforehand, she'd have more time to mentally prepare and then maybe she wouldn't be pissed at him for as long. So it was now or never, he decided as she replaced the microphone in its stand and thanked the backup singers for their hard work.

Forcing the corners of his lips upwards into a smile, he pushed himself off the amp as she approached, shoving his fingers into the pockets of his jeans and sinking back onto the heels of his black Converse. "Hey, you sounded great."

"Thanks," she grinned, coming to a stop in front of him and flattening on hand against his chest, lifting herself to the balls of her feet and pressing a deep kiss to his lips, leaving him flustered and surprised when she pulled away.

They rarely, if ever, kissed in public. Kasia had meant what she said about how being linked to her would just make Xavier's life chaotic, so they generally kept their affection behind closed doors, but understood that they were exclusive to each other when out in the real world. Still, Kasia had seemed to be on top of the world for the past couple weeks and she trusted her crew not to take pictures or leak things to the press, so she didn't mind kissing the man who loved her on the side of the stage.

"Well, that was nice," he murmured, wrapping his fingers around the hand that was pressed to his chest and tugging her further off the stage. "Come here."

Her eyes lit with delight as she eagerly followed him out the stage exit door and down the hall to her dressing room, pressing her lips to his almost as soon as he shut the door. The pressure pushed him back against the closed door and he squeezed his fingers into her hips to hold himself steady, returning a few of her kisses before remembering the reason he had wanted them to have some privacy.

"Kas, Kas, wait," he managed to breathe out between kisses, pulling his head back to catch his breath and gain some sense of coherence. "That's not why I brought you back here."