driving south (boyxboy)

ten

Today was going so great. I was getting my license today! Josh was taking me now to get it because got his a while back and, afterwards, we'd be going to out to celebrate since my mom wouldn't be home for most of the day. I didn't mind as much though. Josh was enough company.

"You excited?" Josh asked, looking at me from his seat in the car.

"Very. Now I can drive you to dates now, huh?" Josh chuckled a bit. I loved that little chuckle so much. It made my smile grow bigger each time.

"We'll see, Ty. Want me to go inside with you?" He asked me, turning off the car as we were in front of the DMV. No one was here today so I could just go in and get it over without standing in line.

"No, that's okay. I'll just be a minute." I gave Josh a kiss on the cheek and left the car, walking up to the building alone.

I was in and out with getting the license so now Josh just drove me out to celebrate.

"Where to?"

"Mm, I'm not sure. Why don't we just order Chinese and bring it home?"

"That sounds good. I'll stop by he convenience store so we can get some snacks, too, alright?"

"Alright. Thanks, Josh!" I beamed, kissing him as we pulled up to the Chinese food place. I took out my phone and ordered so we didn't have to go inside until it was ready.

We talked for the remaining time before Josh got out the car and paid for the food.

Then Josh drove us to the store before finally heading home with all our food. When we got inside, I set the bags down on the table and got us some forks so we could eat. Josh situated himself on the couch and turned it on, going straight into Netflix and starting whatever show we were watching last time.

After we finished eating and stuff, we sort of just enjoyed each other's company. It was nice. I liked these times. When Josh and I just got to lay with each other and not doing anything too special. It was refreshing. Though we haven't really been talking too deeply. That was the down side.

I liked hearing about Josh's day or how he's doing with everything. It was like he just bottled it up now and never spoke to me about anything except for how I'm doing or the stupid conversations we have about whatever topic we're on.

I looked up at him from my position of his lap and saw he was smiling. He wasn't laughing or texting on his phone or even holding a straight, relaxed face; he was smiling. I loved when he smiled. It made me want to smile too but the best part of it all was that I could see his happiness even if it was short lived. It was amazing to me and it always made me feel warm inside.

"Hey, Josh." I greeted to him with a big smile. He looked down and smiled back at me. Warmth.

"Hey, Tyler." He mocked. I didn't mind though.

"How are you?"

"I'm doing okay." Josh nodded and swooped down to connect our lips. His kisses were always so sweet.

"That's good." He nodded but continued to look at me. "Josh?"

"Yeah?"

"How is therapy?" I asked in a small tone. I knew the talk of it wasn't his favorite but I really wanted to know how he was doing.

"Well it's therapy, Ty. It's fine, you know?" he shrugged his shoulders and turned back to the television for a bit. I wasn't completely finished though.

"It's just that I care about you a lot."

"I know you do. I just don't like talking about therapy and you know that." He spat at me. I turned around so my back was towards him and dropped the subject for now.

"I'm sorry." I said.

"You're fine. I'm the one who should be sorry. I shouldn't have gotten short with you. Forgive me?"

"You didn't do anything wrong. I forgive you, promise." I faced him once again and held his hand in in mine. "Do you mind if I ask one more question though?"

"Of course not. Go ahead." He kissed my hand and smiled at me.

"Are you, uh, keeping up with your meds?"

"Why are you asking me that?" Josh's tone was calm and steady but his eyes held all emotion. He looked confused and, most of all, hurt. I didn't mean to hurt him. I didn't mean to at all.

"Well, because I want you okay. The medication will help. I just want to make sure you're okay. Are you?" He didn't answer for a while. Just let go of my hands and sat up.

"I didn't mean to upset you." I told him. He shook his head.

"You're fine. I-" Josh was cut off by mother storming into the house and running into the living room.

"Josh, get out. Just go home in general. It's 12 am." She slurred. Her words practically warping into new ones. She was shit-faced drunk and you could tell from a mile away.

"Mom, why are you drunk?" I asked, still sitting on the couch as I watched Josh get up and grab his phone and keys. He walked over to me and gave me a kiss on the lips before saying goodbye and leaving the room. The kiss was different though. It didn't hold the love and infatuation that was there before. Instead I got expectancy and sadness from him. I ignored it for now and just let him go.

"I love you!" I called out.

"I love you too." He returned and closed the door.

"That's your boyfriend." She sang. Jesus Christ was she such a nuisance now.

"Yes, it is. Why are you drunk?" I asked again and  stood up to walk over to her.

"Because I can be. We should move, right? Doesn't that feel like the right thing to do?" I didn't take her seriously. She was stumbling over and burping after every four words anyways, it was hard to.

"Your father just left us. And me. He hauled ass, Tyler. I don't even know where he is now. And you have a boyfriend. I want one of those. I get lonely." I picked her up from the floor and brought her to the guest bedroom around the corner.

"And it wouldn't be bad. A fresh start for the both of us. Hell, you could bring Jeremy or John if you wanted to."

"Josh." I corrected her. She waved me off and closed her eyes as I sat her on the bed.

"Whatever. I see him in the office all the time. We never talk though. He pretends I'm not there. I'm never mad at him though. Dr. Perry is a great lady and a-" She puked on the sheets. She can clean that up in the morning. "-Great doctor."

"You do therapy?"

"Duh, you nerd."She booped my nose and broke out in a fit of laughter before turning on her side and drinking the water I gave her.

"Okay." I turned on the small lamp in the corner of the room and went to the door to leave my mother so she could sleep.

"Goodnight, mom."

"Eh." Was all she said before passing out on the mattress next to her upchuck. I sighed and stomped up the steps. The entire time I was thinking of Josh. Why did she have to come in? Now I don't know if I totally and royally screwed up or not. Or if Josh is even okay. And why did everyone around me do therapy? Maybe I should too if it's just a free-for-all.

***

This book is almost done, ngl.

I'm excited for the ending.

bro *