Her Suicide Note

Chapter Sixteen

Bianca
I blink.
He blinks back.
I blink again.
He blinks for a second time. Then a corner of his mouth tilts up in an amused smile. "Smith," he greets. He's gotten taller, well over six feet, with a five o'clock shadow that works really well for him. His dirty blonde hair is perfectly tousled and his storm gray eyes are just as bright as I remember.
"MacKenzie," I reply automatically.
"Well, isn't this a nice surprise," he says, closing the main office door behind him as he strolls over. "Haven't seen you in forever, Smith."
"Same here," I state in a daze, finding it ironic that he would make a reappearance after Lisa's death. "How was Florida treating you?"
He shrugs. "The girls were pretty cute, but North Carolina's better."
"How?" I laugh.
He slings an arm around my shoulders. "Because you're here, obviously."
I give a sheepish smile as I lightly shrug his arm off. I can't help but look around to see if Adrian is anywhere nearby. Being here with another guy when he's not here seems weird.
Michael doesn't seem bothered though. "What's your first class?" he asks, glancing down at his schedule.
"Bio," I answer. I hold my hand out for the piece of paper. Not only does he have Biology with me, but also World History and English.
"That's good," Michael says once I point this out to him. "I was really nervous coming here."
"You? Nervous?" I snort. For as long as I've been with him-which was from third to fourth grade-he's never been nervous about starting new things. But maybe because elementary school isn't intimidating. Everyone was friends with everyone else.
"Yes, nervous," he says, nudging my arm as we walk to first period.
He spots a Homecoming flyer which advertises the five-dollar tickets and this year's theme-autumn, unoriginally-posted on the small bulletin board beside Mrs. Gertsby's door.
"You going to this?" Michael asks.
"Uh, yeah," I answer, shrugging lamely.
"Going with anyone?"
"Yeah, a good friend of mine-"
"Bianca!"
Michael and I turn to our left to see Adrian-in all of this 6'7 glory-running down the hall.
"Hey," he pants. "Sorry, I couldn't pick you up this morning. I was running really late."
"It's fine," I assure, stepping out from in front of Michael to present him even though he's a head and shoulders taller than me, easily visible over my head. "Adrian, this is an old friend of mine, Michael MacKenzie."
Adrian straightens, his tiredness sucked out of him as he examines the newcomer. "Sup, man," he greets-a little stiffly, I might add.
Michael just nods. An awkward silence falls upon us and I find myself shifting my weight from foot to foot.
"Smith, this is the guy your going to the dance with, right?"
"Yep," Adrian says, spinning me around to face Michael, wrapping his arms around my shoulders from behind. "You going? They're still selling tickets."
"You got ours already?" I ask, looking up at him.
"Yep, just got it before I came and found you," Adrian explains before turning back to Michael, his eyebrows raised.
"Nah, man. I don't have anyone to go with," Michael says.
"Maybe we can find you someone," I offer. I think of Jessica Sapling, I think she'd make a good date. But I haven't really paid attention to her as of late and she hasn't made anymore efforts to talk to me. For all I know, she could have gotten a boyfriend.
I don't say any of this. I don't have to. My offer doesn't get Michael's hopes up, I can tell.
"Well, we should be getting to class," I say, sliding out of Adrian's arms. "See you next block, Adrian."
He kisses me dangerously close to my mouth and I know it's for Michael's benefit. I push him away from me. "You're a pig," I growl, turning on my heels and stomping into the classroom, ignoring him when he calls my name.

"Oops, sorry," I say unapologetically.
I've finally taken Adrian up on his offer of throwing the football around and I purposefully threw it low to where it counts.
"It's okay," Adrian grunts, all but keeling over.
I hear quiet snorting nearby and turn to see Nathan sitting on the bleachers watching us. He's back with a wired jaw and an even more annoying attitude.
"What did you do to piss her off this time, LaMont?" he asks through clenched teeth.
"Just shut up, Nathan," Adrian hisses before gathering the strength to stand up, grabbing the football in the process. "Bianca, if it's about this morning-"
"You were acting like a pig this morning," I interrupt. "A jealous pig which I don't get because we're not even together."
He hobbles over to me. "Look, I'm sorry, okay?"
"Oh yeah, cause that's believable," I mumble, crossing my arms over my torso.
"Just because Michael's here doesn't mean you get to start acting like you have no common sense."
"You're right," he agrees. It's silent for a moment as he looks down at his shoes. "Did he ever have a crush on you?"
"Why does it matter?" I question.
He shrugs. "Just curious."
I scratch my hairline. "Yeah," I confess. "He did."
"Do you know if he still does?"
"I don't know," I snap. "I just met back up with him today."
"Right, right." He stuffs his hands inside the pockets of his basketball shorts.
Mrs. Stevens blows her whistle and he takes the football into the equipment room.
"All I'm saying is that I'm not very fond of the guy because-"
"Because you're being ridiculous," I finish for him. "I'm not into Michael like that, Adrian." I'm not sure why I have to tell him this. "Besides, Lisa saw him first."
He seems to pale as I walk away to the girls' locker room.

"Smith," Michael calls out as I walk into Mr. Cartelle's World History I class.
"Hey," I say as I go to sit beside him, plopping my notebook onto the two-seater table.
"Your boyfriend seemed really stiff this morning," Michael observes as he writes today's date on the top of a blank sheet in his composition.
"He's not my boyfriend," I tell him, tucking some hair behind my ear.
"So...your available?" There's that tilted-up-at-the-corner smile again.
I tap my pencil, thinking on how to answer. "It's...complicated."
"I don't think it is," he says. "If you're available, tell me. Humor me, at least." He covers my hand with his. "After all, you were the first girl I've ever liked." He brings my hand to his mouth, kisses the knuckles.
I let my fingers slip through his. "Lisa was basically in love with you," I whisper.
He looks down. "Where is she?"
I smirk humorlessly. "I'm surprised you haven't asked sooner."
He shrugs. "It's been years," he states. "It wouldn't surprise me if you guys stopped being attached at the hip."
I stay quiet as the bell rings and Mr. Cartelle walks in. "She's dead," I finally tell him.
"Hello, class," he greets. "Today, we're going over the three Punic Wars that occurred between Rome and Carthage. Get out your notebooks for notes."
"If you think it's weird to get involved with me now that Lisa's gone, don't," Michael tells me quietly as Mr. Cartelle puts notes onto the board. Is he not going to ask why she's dead?
"It was between the years 264 and 146 BCE when the wars were fought..."
"Like I said, Lisa was basically in love with you," I say. "Not only will it feel majorly weird, but Adrian and I-"
"You said he wasn't your boyfriend," Michael points out. "So there is no 'Arian and I', right?"
I shake my head insistently. "Lisa-"
"Lisa's dead, Smith," Michael says through gritted teeth, the frustration clear on his face.
My breath comes out tagged as I lean away from him, like he's slapped me. "How can you say that?" I gasps.
Michael sighs, shaking his head as he gazes at the table's surface. "It's the truth."
"But to say it like that?" I demand.
"Bianca....uh, Michael, right?" Mr. Cartelle pauses mid-lecture to call us out.
"Right," Michael confirms, keeping his eyes on me.
"Is everything okay over there?" Mr. Cartelle questions.
"I need to go to the bathroom," I tell him, my throat thick with tears.
"Smith," Michael whispers.
"Do you think it can wait, Ms. Smith?"
"No," I state firmly, my voice shaking. "I have to leave now."
Mr. Cartelle sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose. "Alright, go on."
Stuffing my notebook and pencil into my backpack, I stand and haul-ass it out of there.