All at Once (Complete)

xxi. Indescribable

"Wait, you cannot be serious!" My eyes were watering and my stomach clenching in pain from the intense laughter. "Nathaniel Martin, in a tutu? I can't even imagine it!"

"It's really not that funny, B." Nate's face was dead straight but I could see the twinkle of amusement in his eyes, he liked seeing his mumma giggling.

From the moment Nate and I had walked in, Mrs. Martin had been nothing but smiles. I can't imagine how good it must have been to see her little boy after so long... If only Riley could be here.

"But honey, that's not even the best story... What about the time when he broke his leg, jumping off the roof, trying to teach himself to fly?" Mr. Martin chimed in causing Nate to groan and hang his head. Everyone reignited the loud laughter that had been occurring more often than words even. No one would have known we were in a hospital until Mrs. Martin began a coughing fit and the reality hit us all like a brick.

We were in a hospital. Mrs. Martin had cancer. Nate was going to lose his mum.

"I'll get a nurse," Nate said as he almost frantically reached for the door.

"No, sweetie," Mrs. Martin coughed, "don't trouble them."

"But mum-"

"I'm fine, Nathaniel... I could just do with some water."

The tight room and somber feel within it was beginning to weigh on me, so I offered to go retrieve the water.

As soon as the door shut behind me I bent over, overcome with emotion. Watching a person die chips away at you, it really does. Especially when that person is as amazing as Mrs. Martin.

I'd only known her for a few days but I could already see her beautiful soul.

From the moment I walked in, my hand in Nate's, she had welcomed me. After she broke down with tears, claiming how happy she was that she knew her boy had someone to love him, even after she was gone, neither of us had the heart to tell her we weren't together.

I must have taken too long because Nate opened the door and stepped into the hallway with me.

"What's wrong? I thought you were getting water."

Looking up at him, the solider saw the tears in my eyes and opened his arms to me. We stood, holding each other in that bare, sterile hallway. I've never found it harder to stop my tears. How could someone so young have seen so much death? He didn't deserve this. He deserved to be happy.

"I'm sorry, I should be comforting you, not the other way around." I tried to smile up at Nate, and he smiled back before pulling me tighter.. Maybe I was helping him after all.

"She's got you hooked already. Fast worker my mum."

"It's hard not to love her."

He took a deep breath, "yeah I know. Let's go get the water."

We turned and headed for the vending machine that descended water bottles. Mrs. Martin was very picky and refused to drink tap water. Nate and I linked our fingers as we walked, swaying our hands slightly. Maybe it was the overload of emotion or just my overthinking brain but I had never felt a connection like I did with Nate, not even with Christian.

He had called me many times since our run in at home, asking to meet me and talk. I didn't bother responding. There was nothing he could to convince me I could ever trust him again. I remember the sinking dread and explosion of anger that had entered me when I found him with his little whore.

We reached the machine and Nate let go of my hand to dig for coins in his pocket. He slotted them in and pressed A3 and down tumbled the water.

We turned and began walking back to the room. I was apprehensive to return to the room and the sadness and fake smiles that accompanied it. But I was not the one to be worried here. I was a stranger. I had no right to be concerned about myself.