I Guess This Is What Feels Like To Be Dying

Level 13

From where I'm standing I can see Blake caressing my face in the same photo he found under the bed a couple days back. "Kayla..." I hear him whisper, as I stand there motionless and emotionless. My body no longer shivers from his voice calling my name.

I rub my face with my long nails, piercing them inside my flesh, fresh blood staining my fingers, and while the cuts start to heal I can't fight this feeling to hurt Blake for falling for a stupid living girl.

I approach him, my footsteps heavy and soundless against the wooden floor. I raise my arms and wrap them seductively around Blake's shoulders, pressing my chest against his back. I could feel his heart beat increasing, but can't no longer control myself, letting go of a macabre grin. With my hands grasping firmly on his shoulders, I pull him fiercely towards the floor, letting him pass through me and fall. I don't feel satisfied, not yet.

I hear that sound of his head banging on the floor. His desperate grumbles force me to turn around. My mind focuses on the spot underneath his elbow, where pieces of the wood are standing. As I begin to realize why there are like that, panic starts to rise within me and I'm unable to move.

Blake rubs the back of his head, cursing under his breath. He seems aware that he didn't fall by accident. He tries to get up, but his right elbow gets buried on the floor, opening the secret compartment even more.

"No." I whisper. Tears start to form under my eyes, my rage rising to uncontrollable levels.

Blake's curiosity gets the best out of him, for he starts to move the loose pieces out of the way, and reaching for that little piece of cloth containing my most prized possession: That silver necklace my mother gave me. That was the only piece of my existence that was left in this unforsaken house.

I grasp my mouth with my hands and fall onto my knees, tears rushing down my face. I try to drag myself to prevent Blake from unrolling the cloth.

"Blake PLEASE don't! Put that down. I'm so sorry! I'm sorry, but please don't do this!" I cry loud, begging for Blake to stop. At this point I want to rip his flesh of his bones and drag him with me to the darkness. I don't want to hurt him, but I do. Fighting as much as I can I finally reach Blake's hand but can't even take the necklace away from him. Like all my energy was drained from pushing him to the floor.

"What is this? Why was this hidden in here?" He lifts the necklace to get a good look at it, and lowers it again, placing it gently on his palm.

Memories of my mom and my sister flood through my mind. And even the happiest ones seem to be the saddest. Katelyn was my soul mate, the love of my life. I miss her, more than I miss being alive. Without her, I feel like my soul has no salvation. I'm lost without her. To the sight of that necklace I feel like my mind it's not clouded anymore, and I sigh in relieve.

Me and Blake stay there, sitting on the floor of the room, both staring at the necklace, and both thinking different things regarding it, until he decides to get up and leave the room, turning off the lights. I follow him with my eyes only. I'm so very tired to follow him to his sister room, because I bet that's where he's going.

I lean against the side of the bed and press my knees against my chest, making myself as little as I can.

I don't know when I started, but I found myself staring at the darkness of the room while I rock myself back and forth.

Yes. Just like in the ghost movies. It's a cliché, I know. I used to think that was stupid when I saw scary movies, back when I was alive. But now here I am doing the exact same thing, and I now understand why ghosts did that in the movies. You see, when we are babies, one of the things we love most is when our parents lulls us in their arms. And sometimes when we are adults we do that without even realizing it. It's a way to grab on to one of the first pleasures in life. For me...well, I think it's a way to grab to the living world, to my humanity.

After a while, Blake turned on the lights again and my eyes sting, making me close them tightly. My ears begin to buzz, stopping just a second later. I reopen my eyes slowly, and Blake is right in front of me, watching his reflection on his smartphone's screen. "Are you freaking serious?" I mumble. I don't know what it was...all I know is that slowly and steady, Blake turned his head to the right and began so lowering it down until he made full contact with my eyes. I guess he stayed like that forever. I was trying to decipher if he was indeed looking at me or behind me.

His eyes are widen and his pupils are dancing in dread. I swear he lost all the blood flow on his face.

"Boo." I say.

I get up and lazily leave the room. For my joy, I happen to cross paths with Blake's mother. Smoke was practically coming out of her ears. I stop in my tracks and just stay there listening to Mrs. Grimmes stopping at the entrance of her son's door.

"Blake Grimes! What are you doing up here? You are making so much noise on the floor. And what is this?" She steps onto the room and the rest of the dialogue was unclear. I stretch making little pleasant noises and make my way to Jessica's room.

Before entering the room uninvited I begin to ear these subtle sobs. "Jessica?" I whisper and slip into the room.

Jessica is lying sideways in her bed, and scrolling on her cell phone. Her eyes are red for all the crying and tears are falling fast down her face. I hop on the bed and lean over her to peek on her phone. She's scrolling thought photos of her and another boy. They look really confident with each other, but not like they are a couple. More like...best friends? Did she leave him behind? Maybe that's why she's so sad.

But no...Her cries are not from missing someone...are more like she's in really terrible pain...the same kind of pain I felt when I saw my mother dead on the floor. Oh Jessica...

Seeing her like that triggered something in me and I feel ever so warm inside, like all that evilness and sadness I was feeling were wiped away and replaced with compassion. I don't know what made me want to do this, but I just caress her hair, like I used to do with Beth all the time, and hug her. I don't know if she felt that, but her sobbing stops almost immediately and her body is now relaxed.

I smile and sit next to her for the rest of the night.

A/N:
Hello! Sorry for not posting for a while now. I will try my best to post more often from now on.
Don't forget to coment and vote, and most importantly don't forget to check Blake's POV on DomoMinReader 's page.

http://my.w.tt/UiNb/cqzV9OkEVt