I Guess This Is What Feels Like To Be Dying

Level 17

Being today Saturday, the house is a little more crowded than during the week. Mommy Grimmes is cleaning the house, daddy Grimmes is on the couch reading the newspaper, Jessica is outside on the swing reading, and of course Blake has returned to his normal self and he's playing games in his room in a perfect sunny summer day. Go figures.

I try my best to stay out of sight of the parents, to avoid unwanted incidents. So, once checking everybody up, I make my way upstairs.

Last night's "dream" was wicked, and it gotten me really shaken up for watching my twin sister again, but it definitely helped me to wrap my head around these questions I've been having. According to her, I have to be quick in imprison my Ammit, or else I might end up like those sad forgotten shadows I saw in Purgatory. Saying these words out loud seems really crazy. I need to tell Blake about all of this. Katelyn told me that he could help me.

Stopping at the bottom of the small steps that lead to my room, I try my best to concentrate and imagine myself on the entrance of the room. I close my eyes and bam, I appear at the entrance. I jump a little with happiness before turning around to see Blake sitting on the chair that was once mine.

I was thinking he was playing video games, but his closed face suggests that he's doing something that might be upsetting him. He's frenetically typing in his keyboard.

I forgot about showing myself to him and instead I think about approaching him and see what's bothering him so much. I don't think he even realize I'm in the room because he didn't mention the cold.

Once in front of the computer, I look at the new shiny screen and see that he's on Facebook, chatting with someone. Taking a closer look and I realize he's talking with Clarissa. The living girl he fell for on the beginning of his classes. They don't seem to be having a pleasant conversation, but reading that is definitely making my insides boil.

Clarissa says:
Is there another girl?

Blake says:
What kind of question is that?

Clarissa says:
Just answer it. You've been avoiding me, you won't even speak to me in class or out of it and when you do, you're... you're so sour and mean to me. So please, answer the question Blake.

Blake says:
And why do you want to know that? Why is the answer to that so important?

Clarissa is typing...

There was no right-away answer. That Clarissa girl was asking him such a stupid question. Of course there was another girl. The only girl and she should just... back away and leave him alone.

Clarissa says:
Because... because I thought that you liked me... I thought it was quite obvious that I've been crushing on you since your first day in school.

After reading that answer, I looked at Blake to see if his face revealed some reaction but it was blank as a white sheet of paper. He started typing once again.

Blake says:
There's no one else. I've just been dealing with some personal issues and I'm sorry if I've not been the best person ever, won't happen again. Also... About the crush thing...

Clarissa says:
What about it?

Blake says:
You're not the only one in that situation.

I couldn't believe what I was reading. I felt betrayed even though there couldn't be anything between me, a dead girl, with him, a living person. But... but I thought that maybe, something, something existed between us. How is he supposed to help me fight my personal monster when is all busy with crushing over a stupid girl?!