Let Art Be Our Weapon: Frerard/Killjoys Epic

Sleep

          I don't get nightmares that often anymore. I'm 18 years old. You would think that you outgrow them. I did indeed outgrow the nightmares. They have become something much worse. They're not like tremors, they're worse than tremors. They're-they're these terrors. I'm not only scared but I can feel what happens to myself in my dream. It feels as if somebody is gripping my throat and squeezing. All the things I see, everything flashes around me like bits and pieces, like I'm seeing my memories but the thing is, they aren't memories. None of this stuff has happened. But, it feels so real, I wonder if anything did happen. I can't differentiate real and this dream. Sometimes I'm seeing flames and sometimes I see people I love dying. Not just Woody. Mikey, Frank, Ray as well. My parents, Alec, Steve. I see children dying, innocent children scared out of their mind dying. I lie on the ground watching everyone I love to get shot up and killed. The dream tortures my mind. It feels like it's lasting forever. And I can't- I can't wake up.
I see Ray running away from a cluster of Bounty Hunters. From the top of the stairs, they shoot Ray in the back and he falls over on our car. He dies on the hood of Kemia. Draculoids surround Mikey and then he gets shot from every angle, stumbling over himself and toppling to the ground dead. I cry out for him but I lean against the wall sitting on the floor. I'm so useless. They killed my baby brother. I let them kill Mikey! Frank tries to run away from the Dracs that chase him. He makes it to the doors, but they are locks. He rattles the handle but they don't budge. He turns around and takes out his blaster to try and defend himself but before he can even raise his arm he takes a blast in the chest. He falls to his knees while getting hit in the face and his head whips backward as he collides into the ground. I sit in shock unable to speak. I can't say anything. Frank is dead. They shot him. Those bastards shot him. And what did I do? I sat and watched! I let them kill Frank and Mikey and Ray! I allowed them to die! I didn't protect them!
It's just a dream I try to convince myself but I lie on the ground and I see Woody get shot. His blood shoots out of his back. He's dead. Woody is dead. If he dead, what makes me so certain that the others aren't? I see my parents running away but BL/ind drags them before shooting them. No, that's wrong. I never saw my parents get killed, I just heard them. Or did I? It was so long ago, I must have blocked it out and forgot. They're dead and so is Woody. So that means that what's left of my team and my little brother are dead too? I let BL/ind kill my parents and Woody. I also let them kill the others.
I see Alec and Steve get shot. Bonnie and Mason lie dead on the ground covered in blood. I also let them die. The other killjoys, Galaxy Globe, Wanda Red, Dr. Connors, the other doctors, nurses, guards, children, everyone. They all are dead because of me! The base is on fire and everyone that was still alive is now burning. I killed them too.
Images of Mikey and Frank and Ray flash in my head. I also see my parents and Woody but then everything goes back and forth between Mikey and Frank, the two people I loved most dearly. They are dead! I let them die. I didn't save them. I just pathetically sat and watched! WAKE UP I shout to myself. Wake up! No, this is not a dream...
Korse walks over to me. He lifts me to my feet and pushes me against the wall and the blaster against my throat again like last time. "Look what you did, Party Poison," he says. His gravely voice churns my stomach. "They are all dead."
"NO!"I shout out. "NO, STOP IT!" I scream.
Korse shakes his head and chuckles. "Stop it? You are telling ME to stop it?"
I see Mikey and Frank get shot again. "Please, don't hurt them!" I beg.
"You think I'm doing this? You are the one that killed them."
"What?" I ask. "No, it's not true. It's just a dream."
"It's not a dream, Party Poison. Woody and your parents are dead because of you. That's your proof. This is real and you are the reason they die."
"They can't die!" I shout. "NO! KILL ME INSTEAD!" I beg.
"Are you sure that's what you want? I mean, you don't have to die, it can only be your brother and friend."
"No! Spare them. Just please, kill me. I want to die!" I sob out. His grip tightens and I feel him choking me. You can't get hurt in a dream but I feel this. I feel him choke me and I feel my throat tighten. Why am I actually choking and coughing for air? Isn't a dream then? My head tilts back as far as it can against a wall. He pushes the blaster so much it starts digging into my flesh. Korse smiles. "Please, I beg of you. Just kill me!"
"Now, you wretched Killjoys will have the death I intended on giving you," he says. Then pulls the trigger.