Let Art Be Our Weapon: Frerard/Killjoys Epic

Stay With Me

        I don't have time to go back to the dinner and get something to drink. I tear off the seal and hastily pour the pills in my hand. 7 roll into my palm. That's a lot... I debate on taking them all but the fear of overdosing hits me and I only take 3, swallowing them dry. I gag a little but keep it down. It'll help everything a little bit. I dump the extras back in the bottle and close the lid. Now I need a place to hide this. I can't keep going in and out of the pharmacy. That would risk getting caught a lot higher than I need it. I go down the storage closet and stick it in the very back behind a surplus of supplies. That'll be safe there. I start closing the door when something catches my eye. Spirits. The pills lodge in my throat and I need something to drink with. Eh, I had my coffee, why not? I open a bottle and take a large gulp then swallowing it all at once. There's no delicacy here as it dribbles down my chin and it's so potent I sputter the remnants out but I continue chugging. It burns my throat and I start coughing and that's when I decide to stop. My gums tingle and my tongue are numb. My mouth hangs open gasping air and dripping with liquid. I close the bottle, sticking it back on the shelf in its spot. The half empty bottle sloshes its contents around and I shut the door. Walking back to the bunks, I'm still coughing on the drink and not regaining my nerves in my mouth. Definitely not used to drinking something that strong. Hopefully, I'll gain a tolerance for it and it won't be as painful.
I stumble down the stairs to the bunks but I stop in the narrow corridor to catch my breath. My throat only inflamed more. I try clearing my throat but it still burns and I'll I do is choke. Jamming my mouth shut and holding my breath to force myself to stop, I walk into the bunks. They're only half filled. I shuffle over to Frank, where he lies on the bottom mattress. Frank looks up and puts on a smile when he sees me but it slowly fades away. "Um, Gee? Are you okay?"
"Y-yes," I strain to speak. I could feel my face turning red from trying to hold back from my coughing fit. The coughing doesn't go away; I just suffocate myself.
Frank gets up and holds my shoulders. I slowly kneel down on the floor and rest my head on the bed. "Fuck... Gee, what's happening?" he asks. I try to wave him off but the shuddering of my body only concerns him more. "Gee, you're scaring me. What are you doing?" I can't hold it in anymore and I start coughing again. Frank holds my shoulders. "Are you choking?"
"No-I'll-be-f..fine," I squeak barely managing to get through. I inhale deeply and gradually I start catching my breath and then slow down my coughing fit.
Frank kneels next to me, his arms over my back. "Are you better? What happened?"
"I, uh, started coughing and then tried to stop but it only made it worse," I explain somewhat uneasy. My tongue is still numb, messing up my speech. I rub my neck as if that would help the burning sensation inside my throat. Note to self: don't take that big of a gulp next time, perhaps a sip wouldn't be as vicious.
"Are you better now?" he asks.
"Much," I murmur.
Frank tries on a smile again. "I'm glad," he says. Staring at me for a moment, he brushes a strand of red hair behind my ear and then leans forward to kiss me. Closing my eyes, our lips meet but it's ended shorter than his usual longing kisses. He pulls back wincing.
"What it is?" I ask.
He looks up at me confused. "I really don't know," he trails off then glances hard at me. "I can ask you the same thing though."
"What?" I say dragging out the pronunciation and slurring a little bit.
"What did you do?" he asks, still wincing and slightly disgusted while pursing his lips together. He looks down at my mouth and leans forward, stealing a kiss. Before I could react or kiss back, he pulls away. "Ugh! Gee, what the hell is that?" he asks exasperatedly.
"Huh?"
He runs his thumb over my bottom lip slowly and then brings it to his tongue. "Oh my god, that's repulsive. What is that?"
"I-don't-know," I hum with a corresponding shrug.
"What did you drink?" he asks. I shrug again. "Well, come here. Rinse your mouth out because whatever it is, I doubt it's good for you." He takes me my hand in his and stands up, hauling me to my feet as well. Going from lying on the ground/bed to now standing full height, it's a bit much for me too suddenly. My head gives a spin and everything gets blurry. I lose all tension and my face and limb fall completely relaxed. Frank guides me into the hallways before he realizes something's wrong. "Gee?"
I lose my vision. Standing up that fast made me quite dizzy. Things start turning white and I lose focus. I squint but nothing comes back. I've gotten head rushes before but it's never been this long. "Frankie?" I tremble. I grip his hand tightly, desperately holding onto him, the only thing I'm certain is still there.
"Gee, what are you doing?" he asks.
Another wave hits me and I lose my tension again, relaxing but this time it's not just my muscles. I lose my strength. I give a weak plea. "Frank, help," I cry when my knees buckle.
"Shit!" he slips. His arms wrap tightly around my torso as he slowly lowers me to the ground. My head comes together and I can see again. I can see Frank holding me in his arms looking down at me with fear in his eyes. "Was..was it whatever you drank?" he asks.
I don't answer him. I'm not gonna lie so I just sit there pretending to be incoherent. "I stood up too fast." It's technically not a lie. I did stand up too fast, granted it wouldn't have been as much of a problem if I didn't just down a highly concentrated alcohol when I myself have no tolerance for it. I should've sipped it, I could probably take that much of a drink in a month or something. Not right now. "I'm just really tired and haven't eaten anything. Lack of sleep and low blood sugar," I say. That is closer to a lie but still on a technicality. I'm really good at convincing myself that I'm telling the truth. If no one else believes it, at least I had myself fooled.
"Do you want to eat something?" he offers.
"Nah, I'm just tired of the most part. I can eat in the morning."
"Are you sure, Gee?"
"Yeah, just help me back?" I ask. Of course Frank can't deny me. He helps me back to my feet and I make it back lying on the mattress before I collapse again. My vision left but it's slowly returning as I lie down. Frank crawls next to me, pulling up the cover. I weakly cling to him. I love him so much. I hold onto him dearly, afraid I'll lose him. My something pushes that fear away. It takes away all the pain and stress and it leaves me quite relaxed and almost numb. Frank's warmth keeps me feeling. I'm not completely numb while he's next to me. The pain killers removed all the aches and sore and the spirits have diminished my troubles. I almost feel human. Grace-Jeanette creeps into my head but before the guilt hits me, the spirits drown out my sorrows. I don't feel hurt or pained. I feel better, for once. But the booze and pills can only keep me safe if I'm away. Sleep is a whole different turf.
Reliving her getting taken over and over. A lot of times in my night terrors, they exaggerate everything, haunting deaths of Woody, Alec, my parents and the other Killjoys we've lost, I also see my team and my friends getting hurt. But tonight, nothing is exaggerated. It happens exactly the way it did. After being awake for the last couple of days, I'm in a heavy sleep. The worst part about it, there will be no relief in waking up. There will be no realization that it was just my mind playing tricks because it's not a trick. It's my mind remembering I let them take her. It's not fake, it's all real.