So many hunts that Crowley has sent us on. Why are we working for him again...or right, that stupid thing called a soul. At least Cas comes by every few days, without Dean's knowledge...
And right now we're on our way to drop off another monster. We drive up to an industrial plant to meet up with some demons of Crowley. The boys go into the trunk and grab the monster to bring it to the demons.
"You're late." One of them says.
"Traffic was a bitch." I say.
"One rugaru." Sam says and the boys hand over the monster.
"Where's Crowley." Dean asks.
"Banging a hooker in a sweet spot called none of your business." The demon says.
"Oh, look at the guys. Demon trying to be funny." I say.
"Oh, is that what just happened?" Dean says.
"Night, girls." The demons says as he starts walking away.
"Wait, wait. Hold up. Are we ever going to see Crowley again or is he just gonna keep sending his demon extras to pick up his laundry?"
"I'm sorry. I know you're speaking, I see your lips moving, but I can't understand what you're saying because I don't speak little bitch." The demons get in the car and drive away.
"Remember when we used to gank demons?" Dean says. We get into our cars and drive to an abandoned house that we've managed to clean up a bit and use as a bunk.
"No, screw it. I'm done." Dean says.
"Calm down." I say.
"We've been going on these freaking Crowley runs and it's not getting us anywhere."
"Dean-"
"I mean, the only thing that's really changed, is now I need a daily rape shower." Dean interrupts Sam.
"Okay, you're right. Let's go with plan B. Oh yeah, we don't have one. So till we do, sorry dude, stock up on soap-on-a-rope. Dean, if you wanna get my soul back, that's what we gotta do, okay?"
"Yeah... you even want it back?" Dean asks.
"We're working for Crowley aren't we?" I say.
Dean goes to pour himself a drink.
"Yeah, well who says he's gonna hold up his end, you know?" And suddenly I'm unconscious.
I wake up, I don't know how long later, tied to a chair. Dean and Sam are on either side of me.
"What now?" I ask. Both boys are already awake. There's a demon standing in front of us. Meg. With a couple other demons flanking her.
"I think I know who you can ask." Sam says.
"Evil bitch." Dean says.
"Keep sweet talking me. This could go a whole new direction." Meg says.
"Meg. I've been dying to see you again." Dean says.
"Well, here I am, big boy. So, what should we do now?"
"How about I rip you to shreds?"
"Kinky, I like. A little Q&A first, if you don't mind. Now, where's your boss?"
"You think we were for somebody?" Sam says.
"I happen to know for a fact you've been juggling Crowley's orphans. Now where is he?"
"Don't know. Don't care." I say.
"You've been working his beat for months."
"Doesn't mean we get face time." Meg straddles Dean's lap.
"Where's he take all those things you snatch up for him? I bet you an all-day sucker that's where his majesty's hold up." Dean doesn't answer so she puts a knife to his throat. She can't do anything. "Ok, officially over the foreplay. Satisfy me, or I please myself."
Sam laughs.
"Something funny Sam?" Dean asks.
"Yeah, Meg." I say.
"Really? Cause where I'm sitting..."
"Don't worry. She can't do jack squat. She's totally screwed." Sam says.
"Not helping!"
"Look at her Dean. She's furious. If she could kill you, she'd've done it by now. She's running." I say.
"Am I?" Meg asks.
"Judging by the level of flop sweat on all of you, yeah. Which means you're running from Crowley. Which makes sense. Crowley would want to hunt down all the Lucifer loyalists now that he's the big man on campus."
"How would you know?"
"It's what I'd do. She can't kill us, Dean. She needs us to get her to Crowley so she can stick that knife in his neck. It's him or her." I say.
"Well, I hope you both lose. But good luck." Dean says.
"So, you know what you gotta do now, right?" Sam says.
"Let me guess. You're gonna tell me." Meg says.
"Work with us." Sam says.
"Whoa, what?" Dean says.
"We'll hand you Crowley with a bow. On one condition, we come with you and you help us wring a little something out of him before you hack him to bits." I say.
"What?" Meg asks.
"Doesn't matter. Question is, can you get us what we need?" Sam asks.
"I apprenticed under Alastair in Hell just like you brother, here. So Dean, can I make Crowley do whatever I want?"
"Yeah, she can." Dean says.
"It's a deal then. Hugs and puppies all around!"
"You gonna untie us?"
"Please. Don't pretend you don't enjoy it." She starts walking away. One of the demons comes unties us and then has a stare down with Dean.
"You gonna kiss me?" Dean asks sarcastically.
"Come on!" Meg yells. The other demons follow after her.
"What are you doing?" Dean asks us.
"What do you mean?" I ask.
"I mean, what are you doing?"
"Dean, you wanted to screw over Crowley. Merry Christmas." Sam says.
"You want to work with a demon again?"
"We're working with demons now. I'm doing this because I want to stop."
"She killed Ellen and Jo."
"I know. But you can't look at this emotionally Dean. We need her." I say.
"The hell we do! That little bitch is gonna screw us over so fast-"
"Of course, which is why we'll screw her first. Meg and her little posse are dead the second we're done with them." Sam says.
"Yeah, if they don't kill us."
"They won't because we're bringing insurance." I say. We head back to our bunker house.
"We need Cas." I say.
"We do, or you do?" Dean asks, he sounds somewhat hurt.
"I'm gonna go try to call him." Sam says
"I bet a dinner he won't come." Dean says. Sam walks outside and 10 minutes later, Sam walks in with Cas.
"You actually showed. Wow, Sam, looks like Dean owes you a chicken dinner." I say.
"No big. This is what friends do for each other." Sam says.
"Well, then Cas is my best friend." I say under my breath, somehow Dean still hears it. We tell Cas that we need him to help locate Crowley so he starts getting a bunch of stuff together and starts the ritual.
"It's not working. Crowley's hidden from me." Cas says.
"Well, looks like we're gonna have to try this the hard way." Dean says.
Cas transports as to Samuel's office to look for something, after making sure he wasn't in there. Unfortunately we get caught.
"Can I help you? What do you want?" Samuel asks.
"We wanna know where Crowley is." Dean says.
"If I even knew, why would I tell you?"
"Because you're our grandfather."
"Samuel, we're gonna get our souls back." I say.
"Who says you can get it back?" Samuel asks.
"We do." Sam says.
"Look, I'd like to help, but I'm sorry."
"It's your grandson's, and practically granddaughter's, soul." Dean says.
"I can't."
"What is wrong with you? Do you wanna work for Crowley? Cas, can you give us a minute?" Cas disappears. "We're your blood. But if you don't wanna help us I can't make you. But I just gotta know why. What is Crowley holding over you? You owe us that." Samuel hands over a picture to Dean. "Mom?"
"He's gonna give her back to me." Samuel says.
"Crowley's gonna bring Mary back from the dead?" I ask.
"You tell me you don't want her back." None of us answer. "You know, the one difference between us: you know how to live without her."
"Look, I know how you feel."
"No, you don't. She's my daughter and she's dead and I can do something about it."
"Do you really think Crowley is gonna make good here?" Dean asks.
"He brought Sam and Ash back! And me!"
"Trust me, don't go down that road."
"What are you saying?"
"I'm saying, stop trying. It's gonna go nowhere good, Samuel. I know we've had our differences, but I'm your grandson and I'm telling you that this is wrong for so many reasons." Dean says.
"You hypocrite!"
"Learn from our mistakes! Doing this, this is how the bad guy gets us every time. It's our Achilles' heel. Apparently it runs in the family. We will figure something else out. Okay?"
"I'm sorry Dean, but I-" I've had enough of this argument.
"Fine. Bring her back. But what are you going to tell her? You gonna tell her you made a deal with a demon? That you wouldn't help out her sons?" I say.
"That's enough! Just get out." Thank god. We get Cas to come back and teleport us back to the house.
Me and the brothers are sitting at the table doing research and Cas is sitting on the couch watching something on TV. It takes a good 15 minutes of Cas watching it before he comments.
"It's very complex." Cas says.
"Mm-hmm." Dean says.
"If the pizza man truly loves this babysitter, why does he keep slapping her rear? Perhaps she's done something wrong."
"You're watching porn? Why?" I ask as I get up and walk over to the couch to Cas.
"It was there." He says.
"You don't watch porn in a room with other guys. And you don't talk about it. Just turn it off."
"Well, now he's got a boner." I say as I put my hand on his...member...for a brief moment. There's a knock at the door. Dean opens the door and Samuel is there.
"This is what you boys do, sit around watching pornos with angels?" Samuel asks as he walks in.
"We're not supposed to talk about it." Cas says.
"Why are you here, Samuel?" I ask.
"It's what Mary would want. Now, this is what I know. Whatever we bag ends up there." He shows us a map that has a location marked "That's where he tortures 'em, interrogates 'em, I don't really know. Only been outside the places, but it's a death trap. Nothing gets in that Crowley doesn't want in and nothing gets out, period."
"Well, thanks." Dean says.
"I wish you wouldn't do this."
"Come with us." Sam says.
"I may be soft, but I'm not suicidal." Samuel leaves us with the map and then leaves. Dean gets a hold of Meg and her posse to keep her updated. Since Cas watched that porn earlier, he has not left my side. We go outside to meet Meg when she gets here.
"Remember me? I sure remember you, Clarence." Meg says to Cas.
"Why are we working with these abominations?" Cas asks.
"Keep talking dirty. Makes my meatsuit all dewy."
"Alright, simmer down. We know where Crowley is." I say.
"Great. Do tell."
"Yeah, tell you, so you can just leave us for dead." Sam says.
"You boys have serious abandonment issues, you know that?"
"We'll show you alright? But we're all going together." I say.
"What, I'm just supposed to trust you?"
"No. you're not that stupid. Give me the knife for a minute."
"No. I'm not that stupid."
"Do you want us to take you to Crowley or not?" Sam says. She hands me the demon-killing knife...I finally have it back!!! "You saw him. He was more interested in killing us than getting the job done. I just did us all a favor."
"Hey! You gonna keep that?" Meg asks.
"You took this from us. I'm taking it back. We leave in one hour." I say as I tuck the knife in my boot. Once back in the house, me and Sam grab the weapons from the room we've been staying in. Luckily it's still close enough to the living room area and we can hear Dean and Cas's conversation.
"You know, Cas, you could help." Dean says.
"I'm ambivalent about what we're attempting."
"Well, breaking into monster Gitmo is not exactly a two-for-one in the champagne room."
"I'm not sure retrieving Sam or Ashlee's soul is wise." Cas says. Why doesn't he just say Ash??
"Wait, what? Why?"
"I want them to survive."
"What are you talking about?" Dean asks.
"Their souls have been locked in the cage with Michael and Lucifer for more than a year. And they have nothing to do but take their frustrations out on them. You understand? If we try to force those mutilated things down Sam and Ashlee's gullet, we have no idea what will happen. It could be catastrophic."
"You mean they die."
"I mean, they don't. Paralysis. Insanity. Psychic pain so profound that they're locked inside themselves for the rest of their lives."
"But you're saying you don't know anything for sure. I mean, they could be fine."
"They could be, yes."
"Okay then." Dean says.
"But I sincerely doubt it."
"Well, if they're not fine, then you fix them."
"Dean, I wouldn't know where to begin."
"Then you figure it out, Cas. Come on. I mean, they're frigging replicates. They need their souls. Look, we get it back. And if there are complications then we will figure out a way to deal with those, too."
"Of course." Cas says. There's a pause. "Or we fail and they both suffer horrifically."
"Well, that's reassuring." I whisper to Sam. We finish packing up and head out. Cas meets us there.
"Seems pretty quiet." I say. There's nothing around here.
"It's not, I can feel it. Meet me at the side door." Cas is there when we get there opening a door to let us in.
"This all seem a little too easy for you?" Dean asks.
"Way too easy." Sam says.
"Is someone there? Please. Please help me. You gotta get me out of her. Please! You gotta get me out of here." We hear someone from down the hall, this hall is full of cells...like a jail.
"Come on. We gotta move." I say. We walk to the next hallway. Just a regular one. No cells.
"Wait." Cas says.
"What is it?" I ask, and then we hear barking and growling. Shit...
"Damn it. Here come the guards." Meg says.
"Hellhounds. Go!" Dean says. We all run for the nearest set of doors. Wedge it shut with a piece of wood and salt the door. Meg's demons don't make it and we can hear them being torn apart on the other side. "I knew this was a trap."
"What do you want, a cupcake?" Meg asks.
"Alright, that should keep them out." Sam says.
"Not for long. How many of them are there?" I ask.
"Lots. I'll be pulling for you...from Cleveland." Meg says.
"What?!" Dean says.
"I didn't know this was gonna happen. Bright side: them chewing up my meat suit ought to buy you a few seconds. Seacrest out." Meg looks up and open her mouth. Trying to leave the body.
"A spell, I think, from Crowley. Within these walls you're locked inside your body." Cas says.
"Karma's a bitch, bitch." Dean says. After a lot of consideration I take the knife out of my boot. "What are you doing, gonna slash at thin air until you hit something?"
"You can see the. Take this. Hold them off. It's our best shot." I say.
"At Crowley. Take it and go. You kill the smarmy dick. I'll hold off the dogs."
"How you gonna do that?" Dean asks. Meg grabs Cas by the neck and kisses him and takes his sword at the same time. Cas pushes her against the wall and returns the kiss making me clap with a bit of proudness.
"Nicely done Cas. All our practice has paid off."
"What was that?" Meg asks.
"I learned that from Ash and the pizza man."
"Well, A plus for you. I feel so...clean. Okay, gotta go."
"Whoa, whoa, is that gonna work on a hellhound?" Dean asks.
"Well, we're about to find out. Run." We take off as Meg opens the doors.
We get to a stairwell that's very dark and walk it up it. Suddenly there's a blinding light and Cas is gone.
"Cas?!" I yell.
"Dean. Ash." Sam says staring ahead. Samuel is there.
"You sold us out?" Dean asks as three demons appear behind us and hold us so we can't move and Crowley is in front of us. "Damn you, Samuel."
"Yes. And I have to say, best purchase I've made since Dick Cheney." Crowley says.
"Hiya Crowley. How's tricks?" I ask.
"Above your pay grade. Been working. Big things. Alas, you'll be too dead to participate."
"Really?" Dean asks.
"Shame I have to do away with all three of you. Rather enjoyed your indentured servitude."
We're brought to the cells and thrown in individually into different ones. These are not the iron bar cells, they're the kind with little windows.
"Guys!" Dean yells.
"Yeah." Me and Sam yell.
"I'm standing in pee."
"I'm in blood." I say.
"Consider yourselves lucky." Sam says.
"Yikes. That sucks." Dean says. I can hear footsteps coming down the hall and then Dean talking. "You want forgiveness, find a priest."
"I just want you to understand." Samuel says. Must've been his footsteps.
"Oh, I understand... that you're a liar. You talk about putting blood first, which is funny because you sound just like my dad. The difference is, he actually did."
"I am putting blood first."
"Oh, gimme a break!"
"Mary's my blood. My daughter! Don't come at me like I sold you out, Dean. You sold out your own mother. It was her or Sam, and you chose Sam, plain and simple." Samuel says.
"Oh, that is such crap! You wanna know what really happened? You chose a demon over your own grandsons!"
"See it how you want. I don't even know what Sam and Ash are. And you want me to protect them? And you? You're a stranger. No, really, tell me: what exactly are you supposed to be to me?"
"I'll tell you who I am. I'm the guy you never wanna see again. Because I'll make it out of here, trust me. And the next time you see me, I'll be there to kill you."
"Don't think there's gonna be a next time."
"Whatever gets you through the night." Dean says. I hear the sound of something creaking...like a door opening.
"Dean!" I yell. Sounds like he's getting pulled away. There's a few footsteps walking away. "Sam!"
"Yeah?"
"We're next and demons are coming to get us, you thinking what I'm thinking?"
"Yes." I bite into my arm so I start bleeding. There's a bucket in here that I grab and stand on so I can reach the ceiling and draw a devil's trap as quick as I can with my blood. As soon as I'm done two demons open my door.
"What did you do with him?" I ask.
"Oh you and Sam are going to find out. You'll join him." One of the demons say as the walk towards me, I back up and they get stuck. I walk out of my cell as Sam is walking out of his. We start running through the halls looking for Dean.
"Dean?!" Sam yells.
"Let me go, son of a bitch!" We hear him and follow the sound into a room. He's strapped to a table and about to be eaten by ghouls.
"Dean!" I yell. I rip a loose metal bar from the wall and stab one of the ghouls, Sam gets the other and we untie Dean.
We run around to find Meg. And we can hear her yelling. She strapped down to a table with the Christian the demon torturing her with my knife. How the hell did he get it? She starts laughing when she notices us.
"What are you laughing at?" Christian asks. Dean goes up behind him, grabs the knife out of his hand and stabs him in the back.
"Dean Winchester's behind you, meat sack." Meg says as I untie her.
"We should go." Sam says.
"Or..." I say getting an idea. I look around the room for a marker or something and draw a devil's trap on the ceiling while standing on the table Meg was on. Dean sounds the fire alarm. Meg and Sam step to the side so they're out of sight when Crowley enters, and he comes in on cue. He sees me and Dean standing in the middle of the room.
"You should be ghoul scat by now." Sam knocks him down and forward so he's in the middle of the devil's trap like we want. "Really necessary? I just had this dry-cleaned. So, to what do I owe the reach-around?"
"Crowley." Meg says, making herself known to him.
"Whore."
"Okay, you know what." Crowley starts coughing up blood. "The best torturers never get their hands dirty. Sam and Ash want a word with you."
"What can I do for you two?"
"You know damn well. We want our souls back." Sam says.
"And here I thought you just grew some balls, Sam." Meg says.
"Well?" I ask Crowley.
"No."
"Meg?" Dean says. Crowley gets tortured some more.
"I can't." Crowley says when he can finally catch a breath.
"Can't or won't?" Sam asks.
"I said can't. I meant can't, you mop headed lumberjack. I was lucky to get this much of you two out. Going back in there for the sloppy bits? No way. I'm good. With those two in there. Forget it."
"How do we know you're not lying?" I ask.
"You don't. But it doesn't change anything. I'm telling you. Ash, why do you want the thing back? Satan's got two juicy sources of entertainment in there. I'd swallow a rag off a bathhouse floor before I took that soul. Unless you want to be a drooling mess."
"Guys, I hate to say it, but he's right." Meg says.
"Yeah, right. I get it. Thanks. He's all yours." Sam says. Time to give up.
"Whoa, what are you, crazy? He's our only hope." Dean says.
"Dean, you heard him. He can't get them. He's useless." I say. Dean hands Meg the knife and stops right before she's about to enter the devil's trap.
"You'll let me back out right?" We nod. She steps in. "This is for Lucifer, you pompous little-" And she's taken down in an instant and then uses the knife to break the devil's trap and me, Sam and Dean are pinned to the wall.
"That's better. You don't know torture, you little insect." Cas reappears carrying a bag.
"Leave them alone." He says.
"Castiel, haven't seen you all season. You the cavalry now?"
"Put the knife down."
"You that bossy in heaven? Hear you're losing out to Raphael. The whole affair makes Vietnam look like a roller derby. Hey, what's in the gift bag?"
"You are." Cas says as he takes out a skull.
"Not possible." Crowley says.
"You didn't hide your bones as well as you should have."
"Cookie for you." Crowley says and claps his hands mockingly.
"Can you restore Ashlee and Sam's souls or not?"
"If I could help out in any other-"
"Answer him!" Dean yells.
"I can't." Cas lights Crowley's bones on fire. Meg disappears and we are released from the wall.
"Well, she's smart, I'll give her that. I was gonna kill her too." I say.
"Of course, we'd have given you an hour with her first." Dean says.
"Why would I want that?"
Outside the monster prison, we're standing by the impala and it's already day time again.
"Thanks Cas. Hadn't it been for you-"
"Crowley was right. It's not going well for me upstairs." Cas interrupts Dean.
"If there's anything we can do-" I start saying.
"There isn't. I wish circumstances we're different. Much of the time I'd rather be here." Cas looks at me. I know that Dean notices it too.
"Look, Cas, we know you got a steaming pile on your plate. There's no need for apologies. We're your friends." Dean says.
"Listen, Sam, Ash, we'll find another way."
"You really wanna help? Prison full of monsters. Can't just leave them, can't let them go." Sam says.
"I understand." Cas says then disappears.
"He's right, you know?" Dean says.
"About?" I ask.
"About your souls. We'll figure something else out."
"No, we won't."
"Why, because Crowley said-"
"You heard what Crowley said. And we heard what Cas said. Putting these things back in would smash us to bits." Sam says.
"We don't know that for sure."
"You know what? When angels and demons agree on something, call me nuts, I pay attention." Sam says.
"You say this now? After we practically died trying to-"
"Exactly! We almost got ourselves killed. I mean, how many times do we risk our asses for this? Enough's enough."
"Sam-"
"I don't think I want it back." I say.
"You don't even know what you're saying."
"No, we're saying something you don't like. You obviously care, a lot. But I think maybe we're better off without out."
"You're wrong. You don't know how wrong you both are."
"I'm not sure about that." Sam gives me a look, we're both thinking the same thing again and we start walking away.
"Sam, don't walk away. Ash! Ashlee!"
***let me know what you think! Who should play Ash in The French Mistake??
