"It's here, somewhere. I know." Sam says. We're at the Campbell Compound looking for something. "Help me move this." Sam and Bobby move Samuel's desk. There's a trap door there.
"I'll be damned." Bobby says. The four of us head down the ladder. There's so many books here.
"Welcome to the Campbell family library."
"So, Samuel collected all this stuff, huh?" Dean says.
"Apparently."
"Wow. Alright, well, what are we looking for?" I ask.
"Well, anything that'll put a run in the Octomom's stockings. Pick a row." Bobby says. We each take a pile of books and start reading.
"Bingo." Bobby says. It's been about an hour since we started reading. "Any of you jokers ever heard anything about a Phoenix?"
"River, Joaquin or the giant flaming bird?" Dean asks.
"It says here that the ashes of a Phoenix can burn the mother."
"The mother?" I ask.
"Great. Where do we get one?" Dean asks.
"You got me. I thought it was a myth." Bobby says.
"Alright, great. Well, let's see if we can find something out about a phoenix." Sam says. And the research restarts but for something different.
"Guys. Guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, check this out. 'March 5, 1861. Sunrise, Wyoming. Gun killed a Phoenix today. Left a pile of smoldering ash'." Dean reads.
"Really? Whose gun?" I ask.
"Colt's."
"Colt? Colt like-"
"Like the Colt. From... Samuel Colt's journal." Dean holds up the book in his hand.
"What?! That's his?" Sam asks.
"Yeah."
"Dude, no."
"Dude. Yes."
"Well, let me see it." Sam tried to grab it.
"Get your own." Dean says.
"Well, what else did he say about the Phoenix? What does it look like? Has it got feathers?" Bobby asks.
"It just says 'Phoenix'."
"Did he say where he tracked it?" I ask.
"No."
"Alright, so I guess we got to find one of our own, whatever it is." Sam says.
"I know where we can find one. March 5, 1861. Sunrise, Wyoming. We'll 'Star Trek IV' this bitch."
"I only watched 'Deep Space Nine'." Bobby says.
"We hop back in time, we join up with Samuel Colt, we hunt the Phoenix, and then we haul the ashes back home with us."
"Time travel?" Bobby says.
"Yeah."
"That's a reasonable plan?"
"We got a guy who can swing it." Dean says and then stands up. "Castiel. The, uh, fate of world is in the balance. So, come on down here. Come on, Cas, 'I dream of Jeannie' your ass down here pronto. Please." A woman suddenly appears in front of us.
"Jeannie?" I ask.
"Rachel. I understand you need some assistance? How can I help you?" She says.
"Well, uh, we kind of need to talk to the big Kahuna." Dean says.
"I'm here on Castiel's behalf."
"Where is he?" Sam asks.
"Busy."
"Busy?" I ask.
"Yes.
"Well, we've got a line on the mother of freaking everything, so-"
"I'm sure your issue's very important. But Castiel is currently commanding an army, so-"
"So we get stuck with Miss Moneypenny." Dean says.
"So you need to learn your place." Rachel says.
"Look, I don't know who you think you are-" I start saying.
"I'm his friend."
"What, you think we're not?" Sam asks.
"I think you call him when you need something. We're fighting a war."
"We get that." I say.
"Clearly you don't, or you wouldn't call him every time you stub your toe, you petty, entitled, little pie-"
"Rachel. That's enough." Cas suddenly appears.
"I told you I'd take care of this." Rachel says.
"It's alright. You can go."
"You're staying?"
"Go. I'll come when I can." And then Rachel disappears.
"Wow. Friend of yours?" I ask. Am I jealous?
"Yes. She's uh, my lieutenant. She's...committed to the cause. Now, what do you need?"
We explain to Cas what the plan is, hoping he'll agree and he does. But he stares at me weirdly the entire time. We head back to Bobby's. Dean heads out right away for whatever reason while, Bobby, Sam, Cas and I wait for him. Cas doesn't stop staring.
"Where the hell's Dean?" Bobby asks.
"Supply run, he said. I don't know." Sam says.
"Um, about your plan. You'll only have 24 hours." Cas says.
"Wait, what? Why?" I ask.
"The further back I send you, the harder it becomes to retrieve you. 24 hours is all I can risk. If I don't pull you home within that time, you'll be lost to me." Dean comes into the room carrying several large shopping bags.
"Well, then we better get you a watch." Dean says.
"What the hell's all that?" Bobby asks.
"We are going native. Got to blend in." Dean hands me and Sam one of the bags... from Wally's Western World.
"Uh, no thanks. I'm fine." I say.
"Ash."
"Dean, I can wear this." I say referring to my current outfit
"And look like a spaceman?"
"Look, just because you're obsessed with all that Wild West stuff-" Sam starts saying.
"No, I'm not."
"You have a fetish." I say.
"Shut up. I like old movies."
"You can recite every Clint Eastwood movie ever made, line for line." Sam says.
"Even the monkey moves?" Bobby asks.
"Yeah. Especially the monkey movies."
"His name is Clyde. At least where the damn shirts." Dean asks. Me and Sam walk upstairs to change. I take the spare bedroom and Sam takes the bathroom. As soon as I have the other shirt on... it's super ugly with cow print on it. Cas appears in the room.
"Ashlee." He says.
"Ash." I correct him.
"I can't let you go on the trip."
"Why not?" I ask.
"I sense something about you. Something different."
"What is it?" I ask.
"Is there any way that you could be...uh... pregnant?" Cas says that last word a lot quieter.
"Um, even if, it's possible but not likely." I say.
"Do you mind if I just... check?"
"Go ahead." He puts a hand on my forehead for about 3 seconds then pulls away.
"You can't go on that trip."
"So, it's true then?" I ask.
"Yes." He turns away from me.
"I have to go. Dean will get suspicious if I don't."
"It can harm that thing."
"I want to try it anyways." I say then head downstairs.
Cas is already down here by the time I am. Still staring at me. Seriously... it's not like it's his, right?.... Right?!
"Ash? You okay?" Dean asks.
"Yeah, I'm fine. By the way, what are you wearing? You going to a hoedown?" I ask.
"Now, is it customary to wear a blanket?" Cas asks finally shifting his gaze to Dean.
"It's a sarape. And, yes. It's uh... Nevermind. Let's just go." Dean has a bag full of gold watches and chains, handed to him by Bobby. "What's this?"
"Where you're going, they don't take plastic."
"I'll send you back to March 4th. That whould give you time to find the Colt... and this Phoenix creature."
"Alright, well, see ya at high noon tomorrow." Dean says and then him, Sam and I are teleported back in time to Sunrise, Wyoming in 1861. "Oh, now we're talking."
"Alright. Let's go find Samuel Colt." Sam says. He sets the timer on his watch to 24 hours.
"Hey, we should try the Saloon first, uh, see what we get from the local."
"Sure. Whatever, Sundance." I say. "Just give me a second." I walk behind the closest bush and start throwing up and 5 minutes later. I'm good to go. "Time travel." I say then start walking into town with the boys in tow.
"Oh, damn it. Come on." I hear Sam yell behind me.
"You know what that is?" Dean asks.
"Yeah, it's horse-"
"Authenticity!" Dean exclaims making Sam groan. As we walk into the center of town, there's a hanging taking place.
"We stand here today, March 4th 1861, to execute justice upon Elias Finch for the murder of his own wife." A guy says.
"Wow. Talk about authenticity." Sam says.
"Sentence handed down by myself, Tye Mortimer, duly appointed judge of the Wyoming circuit. You will be hung by your neck until you die."
"You got anything to say?" Another guy says. He's the sheriff by the looks of the star pinned to his shirt.
"You're gonna burn for this. Every one of you." Elias says and then he's hung and the crowd grasps.
"Good times. So where do we find Sammy Colt?" I ask.
"No idea. Huh. I think I know who to ask though." Sam says as he's watching the judge and sheriff going down the steps.
"Nice blanket." A man says as he turns around and faces us. Dean takes it off with a disappointed look on his face and ditches it and then we go to the jail to find the sheriff.
"Sheriff? Can we have a word?" Dean asks.
"Depends who's asking."
"Marshal Eastwood. Clint Eastwood. This here is, uh, Walker and Shilling. They're Texas Rangers."
"So what can I do for you lot?" The sheriff asks.
"Uh, we're looking for a man." Dean says.
"I'll bet. Nice shirt, there." The judge says.
"What's wrong with my shirt?"
"You're very clean."
"It's dirtier than it looks."
"We need to find Samuel Colt. Do you know him?" Sam asks.
"The gun maker?"
"Yeah. Is he in town?" I ask.
"Not that I know of. Might try asking Elkins over at the Saloon. Been here longer than God." Dean tips his hat and we head over to the saloon.
"This is not awesome." Dean says as he looks around the saloon.
"Hi." Sam asks as he walk up the bartender.
"What'll you have?"
"Oh, uh, okay. Great. Me and the lady here will have your top-shelf whiskey." Dean says.
"Only have the one shelf."
"Oh, actually I'm not drinking right now..." I say, trying to avoid all eye contact with Dean.
"Okay, that'll do just fine. I guess they'll have a sarsaparilla."
"You Elkins?" Sam asks.
"One and only." Elkins says.
"You know a man named Samuel Colt?" I ask.
"He passed through here about four years ago."
"He still around?" Sam asks.
"Rumor is, he's building a railroad stop 20 miles out of town, just by the Postal road. Middle of nowhere."
"The Devil's Gate?" Sam whispers to us.
"Location fits." Dean says.
"Howdy, boys." A woman walks up to us.
"Darla's my best girl." Elkins says.
"Try me. You want a kiss?" Darla asks, she's leaning in towards Dean. Her teeth look like they're rotting.
"So much germier than I pictured." Dean says.
"Darla!" The judge yells from the door.
"Ah. Judge. Nice to see you." She faces the judge.
"Wow, that was a close one." Dean says.
"I guess it's good to be judge." I say.
"Yeah." Elkins hands us our drinks. Dean talks a sip of his whiskey and then spits it out. "Oh. It's like gasoline."
"Sarsaparilla ain't half bad." Sam says.
"So Ash." Dean says.
"Yeah."
"Why aren't you drinking right now?"
"I, uh... I just threw up... didn't really want to drink...?" I say. More in the form of question than fact.
"Really? Because drinking is your usual go-to when you get sick like that." We hear a scream upstairs which makes me and the boys run up there. Upstairs in the bedroom, on the bed is a smoldering skeleton, half of it is ash. Darla is cowering by the window. Somehow the sheriff finds out and is here within a couple minutes.
"You okay, Sheriff?" Sam asks.
"'Course I'm okay."
"It was a ghost!" Darla says.
"It wasn't a ghost. Unless ghosts leave footprints." There's dark footprints that are leading out of the room. Almost like the prints are made of ash.
"I am telling you, Elias Finch was here. He did...that, and then he walked out that door."
"Rope didn't kill him. Seen it before."
"Well, you got any idea where he could be?" I ask.
"Could be a thousand places."
"Well, you got anyway to flush him out?" Dean asks.
"'Course. We're gonna form a posse. Then we're gonna string Finch up right. Put a bullet in his head for good measure." The Sheriff says.
"That actually sounds like a good plan."
"You three should come along. Meet downstairs at dawn."
"Yeah, we'll be there." I say.
"Get yourselves some real gear first, huh?"
"Well, I think we ought to pay our respects to Finch." Dean says.
"I was thinking the same thing." Sam says.
At night, we head out to the cemetery.
"You thinking what I'm thinking?" Sam asks.
"Rose from the ashes, burned up its victim? You know, maybe we're not looking for a flaming bird. Maybe the Phoenix is actually walking around in cowboy boots." I say.
"That makes sense right? Could be Finch. So, question is, how do we put this thing out?"
"Well, we do know one thing that'll kill friggin' anything, right?" Dean says.
"Yeah, the Colt." Sam says.
"So, you go get the gun." Dean says.
"But isn't the gun coming here? I mean, according to Samuel Colt's journal?" I say.
"Yeah, but people here barely even know who Colt is. Maybe you got to go find him and make history."
"We'll stay here, hook up with the posse. 'Cause you know me, I'm a posse magnet. I mean, I love posse. Make that into a shirt."
"You done? Look, the problem is, Colt's 20 miles outside of town. How is he supposed to get there and back before noon?" I ask. A horse neighs from a bit farther down the path.
"Ride'em cowboy." Dean says. We walk over to the stable and get a horse. Sam looks hesitant about getting on it. He goes to one side of the horse.
"Uh, try the other side. Yeah, good boy." Dean says to the horse.
"Right." Sam gets on the horse. "Yeah. Right. Hey. This actually feels alright."
"Alright, take it... just take it easy." I say.
"Yeah, you bet. I'm good. Alright, 11 am tomorrow, right?"
"Don't be late!" Dean yells as Sam starts trotting away.
"Okay."
"Alright. Go on. Go. Hyah!"
"I'm okay!"
"That poor horse." Dean says to me. We find somewhere to crash for the night and as soon as the sun start rising, Dean insists that we go shopping for better clothes, even though I'm perfectly fine with what I'm wearing. As soon as Dean is done shopping we head back to the saloon.
"New hat." Elkins says, noticing Dean's new attire.
"I look good. Where's the posse? We must be early." Dean says.
"Or you're the only greenhorns dumb enough to go chasing after a ghost."
"What are you talking about? Sheriff's tough as nails. He'll be here."
"Oh god! The Sheriff's dead!" Someone yells from outside.
"Or not." I say. We run outside. There's a pile of ash and bone and the sheriff's badge sitting on top.
"Great. Who's the sheriff now?" Dean asks. Elkins grabs the badge and pins it on Dean's shirt.
"Wait, what?" I say.
"Congratulations, Sheriff." Elkins says. We find out where the deputy lives and decide to pay him visit. I knock on the door.
"Who's there?" The deputy asks through the door.
"Candygram for Mongo." Dean says in a high-pitched voice. The deputy opens the door. Dean and the deputy have their guns pointed at each other right away.
"Howdy, Pilgrim." Dean says.
"I ain't no pilgrim."
"Alright, back up." I say referring to the deputy's gun. Dean shows off his sheriff's badge. "Is that any way to, uh... Greet your new boss?" The boys put their guns down.
"Missed you at the posse this morning. We were a two-man wolf pack, thanks to you." He has a suitcase that's almost fully packed.
"What's going on here?" I ask.
"Going to visit my sister." The deputy says.
"Well, she'll have to wait."
"But if I don't-"
"Finch said he was coming back for the former Sheriff...Judge Mortimer... and you. That's two down and one to go." Dean says.
"Then just let me go!"
"You really think you can outrun him? He is going to kill you. Unless..." I say.
"Unless what?"
"Unless we gank him first."
"'Gank'? What's 'gank'? You're crazy. No way. You're on your own."
"We're not asking you to throw down with him. We're asking you to play your part." Dean says.
"My part?" The deputy asks.
"Yeah. Bait." I say. We bring the deputy back to the sheriff's station and put him in the jail cell. Dean and I are starting to get nervous about the time.
"Never been late in your damn life, Sam, and now you're dragging ass." Dean says looking at the clock on the wall.
"So this is your big plan huh? Just let me rot in here till Finch comes?" Deputy says.
"Pretty much. Why's he gunning for you anyway?"
"I guess you missed the part where we hung him?"
"No, I'm thinking to a thing like Finch, that's no big whoop. He would've just blown town, but he came back. That seems personal." I say.
"I'll tell you what, you let me out of here and we'll talk."
"No can do." And then Finch walks into the building.
"Open up that cell." He says.
"Open it yourself. You melt people's faces off. I'll bet you got the juice to tear that apart easy, don't you? Unless you can't. Just like you couldn't break those cuffs when they strung you up." Dean says. He throws an iron nail to Finch, who catches it and then it burns his hand.
"Iron shackles...iron bars, iron nail. See a pattern? Don't worry. Most creatures I meet can't get it up for iron. It's a common monster problem." I say.
"So you're hunters."
"Slash sheriff." Dean says.
"You know what this son of a bitch did?" Finch asks.
"Do tell."
"I was married to a woman. Good woman, human. We lived outside of town, didn't bother anyone."
"Sure, freak with a heart of gold." I say.
"You want to call me 'monster', fine. But all we did was go into town. I go into the bank for five minutes. I come out, she's gone. And then I heard her scream. This... man had her pinned in the alley. I go to stop him, he pulls his gun, shoots me, then her. She died in my arms. 'Course, I don't die. The shots brought the Sheriff. Next thing I know, I'm in iron. That's why I want him just where he is -- trapped, scared. I saved the best for last."
"Is that true?" Dean asks the deputy.
"So tell me, are you really willing to die to protect this piece of filth?"
"Honestly, I could care less about him. He's a dick and a coward."
"Hey!" The deputy says, offended.
"But this isn't about him. We know what you are." I say.
"Really?" Finch says.
"Yeah. So... we gotta kill you." Dean says.
"Well, if you know what I am, then you know you can't." Finch grabs a gun that's in a jacket pocket that's hanging up and shoots the deputy.
"Wow, I should've seen that coming." Dean and I jump out the window to run away from Finch. We are hiding around the side of a building.
"Dean!" Sam yells running up to us.
"Sam, come on, come on!" Dean says.
"Hey, where's Colt?" I ask.
"He's not coming." Sam says.
"What?!"
"But he sent this." He gives Dean Colt's gun.
"Ohh. Hello, beautiful." Dean walks out into the main road. "Get out here, Finch!"
"What are you doing?!" Sam says. Him and I are waiting at the corner of the building so we're out of the way.
"Come on. Let's do this!"
"So, this is how you want to die. Fine." Finch says as he walks out too and faces Dean. They flip their jackets behind them to show off their gun. As the clock strikes twelve they both shoot. Dean hits Finch and then he bursts into flames and turns into a pile of ash.
"Yippee-ki-yay, mother..." Dean says.
"Dean! The ashes!" We run towards the ashes. As soon as Dean is about to scoop up the ashes, we're back in Bobby's house and the bottle is empty. Once we're all settled and in our regular attire again, the tension if finally setting in.
"You gotta send us back." Dean says to Cas.
"Dean, look at him. He's fried." I say.
"I never want to do that again." Cas says.
"Bobby, you-"
"I'm still kickin', Annie Oakley. Be back good as new in... A decade or two." Apparently Cas got into a fight with Rachel that really weakened him and to regain some energy he touched Bobby's soul.
"And we screwed the pooch. Bobby, I'm sorry." Dean says. There's a knock on the door. Sam goes to check it. After about 30 seconds Sam comes back with a wrapped box. He opens it and reads the letter inside.
"'Dear Sam, I got this address and date off your thing-a-ma-jig and I thought the enclosed might come in handy. Regards, Samuel Colt'." Sam pulls a bottle out of the package. There's black stuff in it.
"Is that what I think it is?" Bobby asks.
"Ashes of a phoenix. You know what this means?" I ask.
"Yeah, I didn't get a 'soulonoscopy' for nothing."
"Yes. And...it means we take the fight to her."
