Human

13.

            I spent most of Sunday just hanging around my room.

My parents had both left not long after Garrett, but I still didn't feel like getting out and doing anything. Despite the fact that Garrett had saved me from my father's wrath, I was still feeling pretty shaken up about it. I miss Stephen every single freaking day, but in moments like that one...That's when it hurts the most. Stephen was the one that held this messed up family together. I hate living with my parents without him.

My father has always been the horrible man he is. He has beat on my mother, probably since they day they started dating. Instead of just splitting up, and saving their children from the same fate, they stay together and play pretend that they are this perfect couple out in the open, but behind closed doors they are anything but. My father has his own issues, and that is bad enough. What is worse though is having a mother who refuses to give a crap about herself or her kids. I may not be an adult yet, and I won't pretend to have all of the answers, but if I was a mother I sure as hell wouldn't stand by and let my kid see me getting roughed up by my husband all of the time. I especially wouldn't dare to let him take out his anger on my children. I lost all respect for her a long time ago. They will be together forever because they enjoy making each other's life hell.

I wish they would just leave me out of it.

I waited until a little after ten to finally go to bed. I had hoped Garrett would be coming back tonight, but I guess he couldn't get away. A little thought crept its way into my mind and before I could shut it down I was off my bed and walking toward my window.

I told myself to stop, but I never listen.

I peeled the curtain away just barely, and lifted one blind.

I sighed out of relief when I saw that her own curtains were drawn and I noticed the lights in her room dim. She must be going to bed too. I was a split second from turning away when Carrianne's curtains slid open slowly, and there they were.

Carrianne was wearing some little black lacy thing that just barely covered her perfect body, and Garrett was standing in front of her with his back to me. He wasn't wearing a shirt and his hands were around her tiny waist. Carrianne smiled in my direction and then leaned in to kiss Garrett passionately, and he didn't stop her. He didn't even falter a second. He leaned into her and kissed her back with just as much desire.

I felt my heart shattering in my chest. I was overcome with a feeling I hadn't expected, or ever had before. Tears stung my eyes and I let out a ragged gasp.

Immediately Garrett stopped kissing her and he whipped his head around to see Carrianne's open window. I felt like he looked right at me, even though there was no way either of them could see me. He yelled something at her and then yanked the curtains shut.

I staggered backwards away from the window and flopped down on my bed.

I don't cry. I never cry. I refuse to cry.

I couldn't explain why I was feeling the way I was. It was like getting punched in the stomach and having the breath knocked out of you. Even once you can start to breathe again, you still feel the ache in the place of impact. Why did it hurt this bad? We weren't a couple, we aren't anything but friends. What was blatantly obvious to me now was that I had much stronger feelings towards Garrett than I should have had to a friend. Especially a friend who had a girlfriend. I don't know what I had expected would happen.

Despite all the fight I had in me, I cried myself to sleep that night.

***

The next morning I took my dear sweet time getting ready. I had exactly zero expectation of getting to school on time today. I took a nice and long, scolding hot shower. I spent a good amount of time applying my makeup so that no one would be able to tell that I had been crying. I was lucky my eyes weren't really all that swollen. When I checked the time and saw that I was only running a little late, I decided to also curl my hair since that was guaranteed to take at least a half hour.

When I was done I slipped on a pale blue skater dress and opted for a pair of white sandals instead of my usual converse. I even threw on some bangles and earring before finally making my way out of the house.

I walked up to the school right as the bell for second period rang. I almost patted myself on the back for timing that so well.

"Dang girl." Brittany hollered as I walked to my locker that was next to hers. "Someone is looking fierce today."

I laughed and bowed as I got closer. "Why thank you." I said as I shoved my bag into my locker and pulled out my binder and book for next class.

"Seriously, what's the occasion?" She asked casually.

"I just didn't feel like going to math today, so I took an extra-long time getting ready is all." I shrugged.

"Why wouldn't you want to go to math?" She asked. "Isn't that the class you have with Garrett?" Even hearing her mention his name made me sad. She must have noticed the look on my face because she gave me a quick hug. "You wanna talk about it?" She asked sweetly.

I let out a forced laugh. "Nah, I'm good." I told her. "Do you guys want to have lunch on the quad today? It's so pretty out."

Brittany beamed from ear to ear. "That sounds great, I will let everyone know to meet there instead." Then she took off up the sidewalk to class.

I slammed my locker and went to walk to my own class, but then I saw a familiar head of wavy brown hair cutting through the people towards me. "Cade!" He called. "Cade, wait up!" I walked quickly in the opposite direction, hoping to get caught up in the crowd, but the majority of people were going the other way. He caught up to me much quicker than I thought he would. "Cadence, please talk to me." He said right behind me. I didn't dare even looking in his direction. I quickly ducked into the girl's bathroom and locked myself in the last stall.

I waited there until I was sure he would have given up and gone to class.