" i remember how you laughed when you said my name and how you gripped my hips so mean, alec. it made me fall in love with you even more than i already am. "
" you shouldnt be in love with me, stiles. i'll only end up killing you slowly...
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"didn't they tell you that I was a savage?"
- rihanna, "needed me"
-
Alec helped Finstock unload all the kids from the bus as they were forced to stay the night at the Glen Capri because of the storm. As he was a teacher, Alec was able to stay in his own room which he was very happy about. He carefully watched as everyone went into their rooms, locking the doors to make sure their teachers wouldn't annoy them.
Alec took his own key from Bobby and walked to his room on the first floor. A few of the girls were giggling and whispering as Alec walked past them and he gave them a soft wave and a smile before sticking his key in the door.
Gripping on his bag, Alec opened the stuck door with some effort and threw it on the bed. He closed the door quickly and ran a hand through his hair as he took in the loneliness of the room. A part of Alec enjoyed the silence and the peace, but the other part of him craved something that would disturb that peace.
He clicked on his phone to check the time and sighed when it was only nine thirty. Deciding on getting clean from the smell of vomit and Ethan's blood, Alec walked into the bathroom and turned the shower on. He closed the door and allowed the small room to fill with steam.
Looking into his reflection in the steamed mirror, Alec saw his seriousness and all the scars that scattered his torso. One of his hands touched his stomach, hating the way the scar erased the sleekness of his torso. He didn't like looking at himself because of his scars and the memories they brought with them. Alec remembered how he got each and every one of them.
His hands trailed up until they hit his parabatai rune and Alec sighed. Alec tightened one of his hands on the rune and it felt as if Jace was standing beside him, saying one of his stupid egotistical jokes that made the Lightwood roll his eyes.
Alec had been noticing that he missed his sister and Jace and the annoying tagalongs, Clary and Simon, that crept their way into his heart. Magnus Bane in his thoughts wasn't helping either. The High Warlock of New York squirmed into his thoughts like a worm and it settled itself in his mind.
Magnus and Alec split because of the after effects of the Shadowhunter war. It was mutual, both deciding that they couldn't stay together after everything they went through. Both were sad and missed the other, but it was for the best. Magnus knew Alec didn't get any time to heal from the death of Max and the issues with Jace and the Holy Fire was a mess.
Diving into a relationship wasn't something Alec wished, especially after the tragedies he still hadn't gotten over. All the deaths in the Shadowhunter war made Alec sick to his stomach in the small, steamed bathroom. He leaned over the toilet and vomited his lunch. The physical effect it had on his body was enough for Alec to wish he could forget the entire encounter.
Standing back up, Alec finished stripping himself and got in the shower because he couldn't stand to look at his reflection for another second. His heart was pounding in his chest as he allowed the scalding water to fall on his back. One of his hands was balled up on the cool shower wall while the other ran through his sopping hair.
