Eyes of Azure | Assassination Classroom

:: Attempt 20 | Tragedy + Time ::

:: Attempt 20 | Tragedy + Time ::

"On the edges of the sharpest knives,
In the middle of the darkest nights;
Always knew that I would find you here,
In a puddle of the bravest tears.

[...]

"And the bravest of faces,
Are the ones where we fake it
In the roles that we play."
- "Tragedy + Time" by Rise Against

x + x

"I said I'm fine." I say as he continues to hold me close to him, his green eyes still dark with what I now recognize as hatred.

Hatred not directed at Gakushu only, but also at himself, most likely for arriving later than he may have liked. Yet there is something else entirely: powerlessness mixed with something akin to helplessness, a sadness too great for words, yet evident in the way I feel that his fingers are trembling even through the fabric of my blazer.

He's blaming himself. I should know—I always see the same set of emotions whenever I look at myself in the mirror.

"Is this why ya' wanted me to wait fifteen minutes?"

I almost halt my footsteps at his sudden query, gazing up at him in confusion as I remain holding onto his jacket. Whispers have long since started to erupt around us, yet I pay them no heed as his gaze meets mine, a vague sense of seriousness in his eyes as he loosens his hold around my waist.

I catch myself before I stumble forwards, holding onto my messenger bag as he keeps his hand resting against my lower back, urging me to move. Away from the crowd of nosy bystanders, from the prejudiced outlook of the masses.

Away from the bastard better known as Asano Gakushu.

"What do you mean, Basil?"

He glances at me, before returning his gaze upon the streets, dodging passersby with ease. I wait for his response, a prickle of unease tickling the nape of my neck, sending shivers down my spine.

"...Never mind," he mutters, so low that I almost can't hear his reply. But I still do, and I frown, tugging at the sleeve of his jacket.

"It's obvious that you're bothered," I say, forcing the calm, rational yet somehow unaffected tone of my voice as we turn yet another corner, sending us out of view of Kunugigaoka's main gates.

We have somehow walked a little ways downtown in his silence, a tangible existence I find too disturbing to overcome or to simply ignore. It bothers me, to say the least; he always has something to say, some sort of comeback which will, in turn, force me to answer in a fit of annoyance.

That, however, doesn't seem to be the case as of this moment.

"Why won't you explain?"

He abruptly turns on his heel, facing me with a stormy look upon his face. I barely hold back a flinch as he asks, an undertone of something darker, something more painful than anything I ever thought could be within his voice.

"Then why? Why did ya' let him kiss you?"

Again, I freeze, the earlier chill locking my limbs in place as I unintentionally start to tremble. A choked gasp escapes my lips, barely muffled by my hand as I futilely attempt to stifle the sob building in my throat. I shouldn't cry. I shouldn't show my weaknesses so easily.