FANGED

Chapter Thirty-Five

"Well, well...well." Druilla clucked her tongue and shook her head in mock sympathy as she walked slowly up to where I was strung up between her goons. "It looks like your one and only chance at salvation isn't going to be able to save you this time, witch."

Hissing against the pain of the vampire fisting my hair, I turned my head towards Fang's limp form lying on the asphalt. I was totally screwed...or in this case...staked. Turned out I picked heroes as well as I picked lottery numbers and checkout lines...really badly. Druilla was going to have to aim that stake much lower because my heart had plummeted down to my stomach.

The vampire nightmare of Vidal Sassoon wrenched my head back to face Druilla.

"Ouch! That really hurts, you asshole," I griped.

"Shut up demon spawn," came the hissed reply.

One sniff and I knew who was pulling my hair like a trichotillomania maniac. The unmistakable smell of burnt plastic, dog poo and rotten tuna fish accosted my person in a stagnant cloud. It was none other than my good buddy, Vincent.

"Hey, Vinny. Long time no see," I said, trying to roll my eyes back far enough to see his chrome domed of a head. "You know, there's this new invention they have. It's called mouthwash. You might want to give it a try sometime."

"It's Vincent," he snarled, jerking my head further back so I was eye to eye with his beady teal ones. Well...sort of. If you can count looking at someone upside down, eye to eye. I can tell you one thing, having a perfectly clear view of his flaring, wide nostrils was like looking into hairy potholes. There were things in there that I could have sworn blinked at me.

"Vincent...Druilla, let's not drag this out," Nicolai calmly said.

I could only imagine he was probably readjusting his stupid bow tie. I would have turned to see if I was correct in my assumption, but Vinny here wasn't about to let me move a muscle.

"Oh Nicolai, you take away all my fun," Druilla sighed as she stepped into my line vision.

My heart pounded in my chest so hard, I thought it might pop out like it does in the cartoons. I was terrified, but I swallowed down my panic and met her sandy gaze head on. She had the stake to her side and looked completely relaxed. Her beautiful face, composed and serene. But her golden eyes...they told a different story. She may have looked like a fairytale princess, but deep down she was pure evil and in her hand held the weapon that was going to be responsible for my untimely demise.

"She is too dangerous. Kill her quickly and let's be done with this," Nicolai said.

"Without Drake to back her up, she is hardly a danger," Druilla murmured, leaning in closer until we were almost lip to lip.

And then...I sneezed.

Not a dainty one either, but a full blown achoo of monumental proportions. The kind that made you feel like you were sitting in the front row of a Gallagher show with no rain slicker while you got deluged with bits and pieces of watermelon while he walloped them with uninhibited glee with his sledgehammer. Druilla was that poor sucker and took a shower of spittle straight to the face.

She reared back, dropping the stake as she cussed and floundered trying to wipe it off. You would have thought I had just thrown holy water at her. Seriously, I get that it's gross, but sheesh...it's not like it was acid or something.

After wiping most of it off, she charged back towards me...seething in rage.

"You...you...disgusting little twat!" She slapped me so hard my teeth rattled.