Chapter 23: October

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Peeta's POV

I'm a baker, so I'm always up early. It used to be a curse. I was unable to sleep in, even when I had been plagued by nightmares most of the night and desperately needed more rest. Now, though, I get more sleep than I have ever since before I was reaped.

There is an unexpected bonus to waking up at five in the morning: waking up before Katniss. The window is open and the air in the bedroom is cool. Katniss is pressed against my chest, and her black hair tickles my bare skin. She's not wearing anything, and her skin is so warm it's almost burning against mine.

Her complexion is the perfect shade of olive, her cheeks still rosy. Her eyelashes are black and long, her eyelids flutter slightly. She must be dreaming. This is my favorite time of the day. I can lie in bed, warm, safe, and actually rested. I can look at her.

It's something I never get tired of.

Katniss is an enthusiastic lover. At first, she was uncomfortable about the light being on. She was shy, maybe even reluctant to show me her body. I don't know why, she looks perfect. No, not perfect. She looks real. And she's beautiful. It wasn't until a few nights ago that I learned just why the light makes her feel uncomfortable.

"Would you tell me if I did something wrong?" she whispered.

"What do you mean?"

"You know," she shifted uncomfortably and cleared her throat. "In bed," she explained, but her voice was still a whisper. "I don't have all that much experience." She hid her face against my chest.

"Katniss," I said. I gently tried to lift her chin to make her look up at me. She resisted, refusing to meet my eyes. "Does it seem like I'm not satisfied?"

She didn't answer right away. I gave her time. "No," she finally said, her voice low.

"Then why are you worried?"

"Because Gale was the only one, and I..." Her voice trailed off.

"I know." She told me, long ago. Having had only one lover was a privilege I never had.

She looked up at me and seemed defensive. "There was no one else for me."

"You don't have to explain yourself to me," I told her. Even though it made me feel like a fool, I was relieved that she hadn't been with anyone else. Talk about double standards.

"I know I can't compete with them," she blurted out. I looked at her, stunned. Her eyes were brimming with tears.

"Katniss, you're not competing with anyone."

"I'm not talking about your clients, but your real lovers."

I clenched my jaw. "It's never been like this with any of them. I don't care who you've been with before, and I would never compare you to anyone else. What matters is that you're here now, with me, and I love every single thing we do together." I pulled her closer to me.

"Really?" Her voice was hopeful, but still a bit insecure.

"The last thing I think about when I'm with you is an ex-lover." I emphasized the word 'ex', and in between my words, I kissed a trail down her chest. "It's just you and me, remember?"

She looked relieved, but deep down, I knew I wasn't telling her the truth. My lips rushed against her lower belly and thankfully distracted her from asking any more questions. She parted her thighs for me with a shuddering sigh.

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