Lady Midnight from Mark's POV

Entry Three

 Just my luck that the third day I'm back from Faerie turns out to be testing day, a day I loathed even when I was a full Shadowhunter. Testing day was designed by the Clave so they could monitor the upbringing of young Shadowhunters, it included a written exam and was followed with a physical test. Luckily I was exempt from testing and woke up late to the smell of breakfast floating down the hallway. When I entered the kitchen, the source of the delicious smells, the idle chatter in the room came to a screeching halt. I was an outsider to their close knit family, but that didn't mean I couldn't try to at least be friendly. All eyes were on me, even the eyes of Tavvy, who was barely seven and could already see I wasn't quite like the others. For a moment the silence in the room weighed down on me and I realized that they were expecting me to speak, so I mustered up what little courage was floating around in my brain and began.

"I apologize for yesterday evening. I should not have blamed you, my family. The politics of the Clave are complex and often dark, and not your fault. I would like to, with your permission, start over and introduce myself to you."

"But we know who you are." Ty offered from his spot at the table. Livvy leaned over and whispered something into his ear, clearly explaining what I had just said in a way that made sense to him. After a second he nodded for me to continue. Anyone outside the kitchen would immediately believe that Ty wasn't very smart, but that was quite the opposite. Tiberius was a genius, he just the world from a different angle that other people couldn't understand.

"I am Mark Antony Blackthorn, I have come from a long line of proud Shadowhunters. I have served with the Wild Hunt for years I cannot count. I have ridden through the air on a white horse made of smoke, and gathered up the bodies of the dead, and brought them to Faerie, where their bones and skin have fed the savage land. I have never felt guilty for this, but perhaps I should. I don't know where I belong. But if you let me, I will try to belong here."

Silence pounced down onto the kitchen after my last words filled the air and then I was sure I had made an irreparable mistake, but I didn't know what I had done. Had my speech insulted them? Would they send me back to the Fae? Conflicting emotions raced through me, should I be angry at them for their silence or should I be terrified to go back to Faerie, or should I be pleased to go back? I looked at Jules in hopes I could read my answers in his face, but then I didn't have to, because he spoke.

"Why don't you sit down, Mark," his voice was a tad hoarse. "I'll make you some eggs."

I stayed quiet throughout breakfast and listened to the conversations around me, it was odd to eat with voices filling the air. The Wild Hunt didn't stop often to eat, only when the riders were days from starvation and when we stopped it was only for mere minutes. Everyone was too busy shoveling down whatever food they could get because no one ever knew when Gwyn would decide to stop again. I think I liked to hear voices while I ate. Once everyone had finished eating, Julian asked me rather awkwardly to watch Tavvy while the rest of them wrote the exam. He assured me it wouldn't be long and I couldn't have been any happier, he trusted me enough to take care of Tavvy and that was a step in the right direction.

Tavvy was a breeze to watch, since the little Shadowhunter loved books. He also was very sleep deprived and had fallen asleep after his third story, leaving me with nothing to do. Hefting him up into my arms, I carried him to his bedroom and set him down on the comforter. When my hands left Tavvy he stirred slightly, but instead rolled over and fell into an even deeper sleep. Without anything to do I wandered through the Institute's twisting hallways, each one like a memory from a dream, until I reached the training room. From outside the door I could hear an explosion of noise, obviously created by a radio to distract the test takers. Curiosity bloomed inside me and I knocked on the door before letting myself in. In the centre of the training floor I saw a dummy with a ring of dark ash around it and I remembered this test. It was to practice attacking from a distance, disrupt the ash circle and you fail. I instantly wanted to be apart of the testing, and after a bit of negotiation with Jules I was allowed to join in, just for fun. Or at least it seemed like fun till Diana, the tutor, waved to a table of weapons and told us to pick. My eyes scanned the table, they were all weapons of the Shadowhunters, a brand of weapon I hadn't fought with for ages. Around me the eager Shadowhunters went for their weapons of choice. Emma grabbed Cortana, her sword that had been in her family for centuries. Cristina selected a handful of butterfly knives with a look that made me certain that I didn't want to be her target. Julian chose a pair of circular razors, a weapon that was a cousin of the throwing star, except much more deadly. Livvy reached for a saber, a weapon that wasn't technically the best choice, but the wicked grin on her face showed that it was the perfect weapon for her. Dru, who didn't seem all that interested in doing this part of the exam grabbed a long and thin misericord. I didn't touch any of the items spread across the table.

As Julian began his testing I noticed from the corner of my eye that Livvy was pressing a dagger into Ty's palm. Ty looked like he was going to be sick as he slid a pair of headphones over his head to block out some of the noise. Even when he was a baby he had had a problem with loud noises and it looked as if it hadn't changed. He wasn't like the other 'normal' Shadowhunters his age, and the Clave didn't take kindly to different. Shadowhunters with disorders like OCD, dyslexia and ADHD didn't seem to stay around long, with the Clave shipping them off to more remote locations where people couldn't see that such human problems affected Shadowhunters. They saw different as a threat so they ostracized anyone who was different. And that meant that unless Ty could fake being 'normal', he wasn't going to stay with his family much longer. I understood how Ty felt, my mixed blood was so abominable to the Clave that they did nothing when I was kidnapped by the Wild Hunt and sent my sister away. I knew how it felt to be separate from the rest of the world, even in the Wild Hunt I was mocked for my mixed blood.

"Tiberius. Take those headphones off." A voice echoed from the doorway and interrupted my train of thought, it was Ty's turn to be tested.

Turning my head to look at the person in the door I saw Uncle Arthur, a man I barely knew.

"Take those headphones off Tiberius, you can't go into battle wearing headphones." He spit the last word like it was poisonous.

Ty slipped the headphones off and visibly winced, the racket was physically painful to him.

"I won't be able to it then." He said his voice barely above a whisper.

"Don't disobey me Tiberius."

"I won't be in battle." Ty said. "I don't want to be that kind of Shadowhunter."

"Do as you are told." Arthur's tone was icy and cruel and I could see it in his face that it made him happy to rip Ty apart because he was different.

A fiery rage bubbled in my stomach, it was not okay for a full grown adult to bully a boy just because he doesn't fit in the mold you want to force him into. I was about to intervene, but then I saw Ty's set face, he had something planned. He lifted the knife and threw it, with deliberate awkwardness, but immense force. It flew past the dummy and slammed into the black plastic radio, which then shattered into a hundred pieces. There was silence. I watched Ty glance down at his hand where a slice of shrapnel had flown wide and nicked his skin, causing a little river of blood to bloom. With a scowl he walked over to lean against the wall. Julian made as if to start after him, but Emma held him back, whispering something I couldn't hear though interpreted as; give him a minute alone. Someone needed to take the attention off Ty.

"My turn." I decided and stepped forward, my hands empty of any weapon. I strode directly toward the dummy, not even glancing down as my boots scuffed the ash circle. Ever move I made now had to be without any hesitation. Behind me I heard Diana protest, but I blocked her out, this wasn't a time to listen to anyone. I caught the dummy yanked it toward myself, ripping the stuffed head from the body. Straw rained down around me like snowflakes. Tossing the head aside, I reached for the attached arms and bent them back till they snapped. Finally, to truly finish I planted my foot into the middle of the trunk and shoved. It clattered to the ground. Everyone was staring at me now, I pulled a shard of wood from the dummy out of my palm and watched the blood pool.

"You weren't supposed to touch the circle," said Diana. "Those are the rules, and I don't make them. The Clave-"

I cut her off coldly. "Lex malla, lex nulla." A bad law is no law.

I walked over to where Ty sulked and touched his hand lightly. "Now we both have hurt hands."