Lady Midnight from Mark's POV

Entry Four

Tonight in a stunning turn of events I found myself on the Institute's roof, again. I was sitting as close to the edge as possible, my legs dangling freely over the three storey drop and one of the Institute's spare cell phones lying in my lap. During all my time with the Wild Hunt one of the things I would've given the up for would've been to talk to Helen, though now that I have the chance to I was petrified. What if she was disappointed in the person I had become? What if like Julian she doesn't trust me?

This question caused hurt to bubble up in me, Julian had no right to exclude me from the investigation, it was the reason the Fae Courts sent me here in the first place. He didn't understand that he didn't have to protect me like he protects Ty, Livvy, Dru and Tavvy, I could take care of myself and I have been doing it for the last five years. Swallowing down my concerns I dialed the number I had stole off the fridge, held the phone up to my ear and waited. Helen picked up on the third ring.

"Jules?" She asked.

I had planned what I wanted to say but the words died in my throat, after all this time I could finally talk to her.

"Julian?" She asked again, sounding a tad worried. " You don't usually phone this late, is everything alright."

The words still refused to form. I heard her sigh, about to hang up, then I finally spoke.

"Helen?" My voice came out hoarse and echoing with emotion.

"Mark?" Helen suddenly sounded near tears. "Is it really you?"

"I'm back." I confirmed.

The words just seemed to flood out after that, the conversation spinning around us and giving us our own little world away from everything. But like everything it must come to an end and I heard someone climbing the ladder to the roof, signaling the end of my privacy.

"I am so sorry, Helen." I said.

"Take care of yourself and the others for me. I love you Mark." She said her voice filled with loneliness so strong that it felt like someone was carving juicy chunks from my heart.

"And I, you, my sister." I said before letting the phone fall from my hand and into my lap.

I turned my head slightly as Cristina, the person who had climbed up the ladder, moved near to me but did not sit down.

"If you have come to tell me I have behaved ill, I already know it." I stated gloomingly.

"That's not why I came." She sighed.

"I never thought that Julian would be the one raising them, and now Julian seems so unknowable to me. He isn't the same boy he was when I left."

"A great deal of who was or who he could've become, is locked away, I think." She frowned. "But with time you can unlock it and I believe you will know your brother again."

"I don't know how much time I have," I stared out at the dark sky above the ocean. "If we don't solve their little puzzle, the Wild Hunt will reclaim me."

"Do you want them to?" Cristina asked softly.

I couldn't answer that, there were no words to explain how I felt.

"Is that why you come up to the roof? Because from here you can the Hunt if they go by?"

I was silent for a long time, how could I say this in a way that made sense?

Finally my thoughts fell into order. "I imagine sometimes I can hear them. That I can hear their hooves against the clouds."

She smiled and it made me smile. "I like the way you speak, it always seems to sound like poetry."

My smile dropped, I hadn't realized my speech was different from the way the others spoke. "It is from so many years with the Fae, it is the way they speak to each other."

She nodded. "I guess you have been there for a long time, but it doesn't show in your face. Sometimes you look exactly like the Fae; ageless."

"You don't think I look like a Shadowhunter?" It made sense I guess, but someone telling me I looked like the fey after so long was strange. In Faerie all they could seem to do is point out my non-Fae features.

"Do you want to?" Cristina seemed to like to answer a question with a question, a good way to avoid answering truthfully. The Fae did this often too, but they did it because it was physically impossible for them to lie.

"I want to look my family." I decided. "I cannot have the Blackthorn colouring, but I can look as much like Nephilim as possible. Julian was right- if I wish to be part of the investigation, I cannot stand out."

"I can make you look like a Shadowhunter." She offered. "If you come downstairs with me."

Cristina led the way to my room, where I had left the lights off, so she illuminated her witchlight and set it down near the bed.

"That chair." She said pointing. "Bring it to the middle of the room and sit down, I'll be right back."

With that she left and came back moments later carrying a damp comb, a white towel and a pair of scissors. Cristina moved toward me like a cat, holding the suddenly gleaming scissors and looking very dangerous. Anxiety bloomed inside of me.

"Are you going to cut my throat?" I asked uneasily.

"I'm going to cut your hair." She corrected and looped the towel round my neck, moving to stand behind me. I fought the urge to turn so I could see her, in Faerie you never let someone holding a potential weapon into your blind spot. I squirmed.

"Hold still." She chided and started to run the damp comb through, smoothing out tears and knots that I didn't know were there. I hadn't had a lot of time to worry about my hair in the Wild Hunt.

As Cristina cut, she asked me to tell me about the Faerie Court and I tried very hard to explain it.

The Court was a confusing, glamorous and dangerous place that I didn't see often in my time with the Wild Hunt. Gwyn, our leader, wasn't a fan of the courts and we only went on nights when there were revels. But those were... They were something you would remember on your deathbed. The great sparkling caves or deserted copses filled with the light from a thousand will-o'-the-wisps are sights that look like they have been pulled right from a child's dream. There was dancing to wear your feet to the bones and there were kisses cheaper than wine. But the wine was sweeter and the fruit sweeter still. And when you woke up in the morning it would all be gone, but you could still hear the echoes of the music in your skull.

Once I finished speaking Cristina was silent for a moment, then she set down the scissors and moved around to face him.

"There. Would you like to see?"

I did want to see it.

"Lean closer," I instructed. "For years I have had no mirror and I have learned to make do. The eyes of another can be a mirror more effective than even the stillest pool of water."

Surprisingly enough, Cristina didn't recoil and actually leaned in. Looking into her eyes was so different from the eyes I had look into in the Wild Hunt. For a second my heart ached thinking of the owner of the eyes that had become my mirror when I was without one, but I was quickly interrupted when my bedroom door flew open. Ty and Livvy burst in, Livvy was clutching a cell phone and her eyes were wide.

"It's Emma," She said, lifting the phone. "She texted nine-one-one. We need to go meet them right away."