Imagines

Leave My Heart Out Of This

Lauren has been hurt by Dinah on multiple occasions yet she still finds herself always coming back to Dinah, she just can't seem to let her go. They aren't famous in this situation just normal teens
(A/n: this is going to be completely written from Lauren's POV because it's basically my POV, this is actually happening to me. It will probably be really shitty but it's 3 am and I can't sleep because of this on my mind so I thought let's write it out, so here you go)

Lauren's POV:
Dinah Jane Hansen. The girl who has repeatedly hurt me. She acts like she really cares about me and then she just leaves like what we had, if we even had anything, meant nothing to her and this is a repeating cycle. But every time she wants to come back into my life, I let her, my heart keeps telling me that she is going to change, but I always end up heart broken. Everyone and I mean EVERYONE including Allysus, has told me Dinah's toxic and that I need to leave her, give up on the idea that we could work. But it wasn't always like this.

Flashback to when we first met:
"Oh hey Victoria!" Dinah said. I looked at her confused but corrected her. "Uhh.. My names Lauren. But hey Dinah!" "Oh sorry Lauren! I'm really bad with names. Oh and by the way I love your eyes!" From that moment I knew she would be mine someday. This moment was so innocent and pure and symbolized what the beginning of our relationship/friendship was like and sometimes it was like this for a couple months, then you would just drop off the face of the Earth and you wanted nothing to do with me. Come back, then leave, come back, leave, etc. Why? I have no clue. I don't think I'll ever know.

(Big time jump I know oops💁)

Fast Forward to my last day of high school:
"Hey Dinah!" I walked toward her yearbook in hand and a Sharpie. I honestly just wanted to see what she would write in my yearbook, after all, we haven't had the best friendship/relationship this year. "Hey Lo! I can't believe you're leaving me. I going to miss you so much next year!" She started to cry which caused me to tear up, but I promised I wouldn't cry. "Can you sign my yearbook before I head home?" "Of course Lolo!" She took my yearbook and sat down and proceeded to write what looked like a novel.. Damn. When she finished she told me to read it when I got home, she couldn't watch me read it without crying. I raced home and opened up my yearbook. Her beautiful handwriting was the first thing I noticed then I began to read what she had written "So first off, you're a dork :) Anyways it's your last day of school or at least of high school and I'm really jealous.... And sad. I only got to spend a year with you and I honestly wish I had more time, or at least a do over. But you're graduating and I'm proud of you for that because I remember you stressing about Statistics.." I smiled at how she remembered such a weird detail about what I told her of all things. "..I know it's been a rough year for us but I care about where we are now. At times I wanted to kick your ass and other I wanted to kiss you but I know, that you know I'm bipolar and you still stayed. You're a good friend and I don't know how my year would have been without you always worrying about me and you were there for me when I was sad about not being friends with Zendaya anymore and you were there when I made top dance team. I hope you look back at this in 5 years and still remember Your Beyoncé because I'll always remember My Girl from Planet Green Eyes.

                      Love, Dinah"
Present Day:
Now I sit here reading her yearbook entry trying to figure out what to do and where I went wrong. Right now Dinah hasn't been acting like she used to whenever we talked, it seems as though we are in our "off-phase" again, which is basically where she never responds to any texts or if she does it's like 3 days later or all she does is watch my snapchat stories and she seems to not want anything to do with me. But apparently it's okay for her to be moving on but whenever I try to move on she is always questioning me with "do you like blank?" or "are you dating blank?"  I always respond but she doesn't have the right to ask me questions like this out of no where. But of course I always respond with "no" because it's the truth, she's all I want still after everything she's put me through. She's so beautiful and she has helped me through so much. Whether it's love or not, I just can't let her go.

————————————————————————
Okay so I was listening to "Leave My Heart Out Of This" and it perfectly describes everything for me right now!
"My heart is telling me that you are gonna change, but I know
My heart is lying right to my face, yeah
My heart is making up excuses for your ways, but I wish that
My heart knew when I should walk away.
It lets me down, it helps me as I get back up off the ground
While telling me that this is love but I found
It wasn't really on my side, now I think it's time
I tell my heart to just butt out, keep it's opinions to itself
I should just listen to my head, 'cause it's the one who knows what's best
It tells me not to love you,
But my heart says just forgive you
Oh but it's not thinking clearly
I wish that I could leave my heart out of this"

(A/n: so that's really shitty but idgaf. I just wanted to write something to clear my mind, so yeah, but to lighten the mood I guess MY 18TH BIRTHDAY IS IN 8 DAYS!🙌🙌I'm excited😂)

Love you guys❤️
A.P.