First Aid Kit

ins and outs of asexuality

HI. FOR SOME REASON A LOT OF PEOPLE MISSED THE LAST CHAPTER. IT IS ESSENTIALLY THE SECOND PART OF "MAISIE AND CALYPSO" AND I THINK ITS PRETTY IMPORTANT SO PLEASE MAKE SURE YOU HAVE READ THE LAST CHAPTER. THANK YOU. 

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"I'm okay with kissing. Maybe like, the little sexual things, but definitely not actual sex. I think I'd probably like giving more than receiving, but I want to try it without the pressure or intent of sex."

"We can do anything you want," Calypso replied, smirking to Maisie.

I groaned, rolling my eyes. I wasn't actually annoyed, not in the slightest. Maisie was telling us what she was comfortable with, but even she wasn't 100% sure yet. Of course, Cal was more than willing to offer herself for experimentation.

They had been extra close in the few days since Maisie returned to school - or maybe they'd always been like that and I just hadn't noticed it.

There were no words to describe how happy I was that they finally got their shit together, but I had to admit I felt like a third-wheel. They sat next to each other on the opposite side of the table, leaving me alone. Usually I'd be happy to have some space, but having nobody by my side left me feeling exposed to the rest of the school.

They were giggling softly, leaning closer than they had to, and I decided to just stare at my plate.

When Asher sat next to me, I was surprised but not upset. Oddly enough, I was almost relieved. The left side of me was blocked from view, and he was close enough that I felt his warmth, but not close enough that I felt uncomfortable.

I glanced over when he sat his plate down. He caught my eye and smiled, but didn't say anything. If he came over for a certain purpose, he didn't show it.

My hands were gripping the edge of the table, but I released them as soon as I realized. When I looked back to Maisie and Calypso, they were kissing. Only briefly, as neither of them liked PDA all that much.

"Oh, Asher, hey." Maisie greeted.

He looked up and smiled, then glanced back and forth between them. "You guys got it together?"

Calypso laughed and nodded, leaning into Maisie's shoulder affectionately. "Yup. Apparently, voicing your feelings really helps to get things rolling."

Asher laughed, glancing at me as if to get me to join in, but all I managed was a tiny smile. His table, I noticed, still had his designated seat empty and waiting for his return.

"Good to see Calypso smiling again, hey?" He mumbled to me when their attention was once again captured by each other.

I nodded instinctively before I even comprehended what he said, and then I nodded again. I wondered how he had even noticed she'd been moping.

"Do you feel left out? When Finn and Sophia started dating, I really felt like a third-wheel at first. I mean, they're not together anymore, but."

Finn, I knew, was Asher's best friend. Out of all the popular kids he sat with, Finn was the only one I'd ever seen him with outside of their lunch table.

My hands fumbled. I didn't know how to respond to that with just head movements, but I assumed he didn't know sign language. I didn't want to risk making him angry by not replying at all, so I settled for a jerky shrug of my shoulders. Hair settled around my face, concealing how red I was, and I was thankful.

"Ah, sorry. That was probably too much to reply to, wasn't it?" He laughed apologetically. He laughed a lot.

Although I appreciated him understanding his mistakes, it made me feel super awkward. Having attention brought to those things always embarrassed me.