"I just have to ask..." Jon started lowering his voice slightly eliminating any sound of amusement that had previously been in his voice. "Did you lose anyone when my brother went to war?"
Instantly, you felt a certain uncomfortable tightness in your chest that occasionally happened when you thought back to that war. It was something you had no intention of telling the Starks about when they asked for help in their new war. However, you knew he would find out the truth sooner or later and it was better coming from you now instead catching you in a lie.
"My father actually lost his life at The Twins." you started trying to stabilize your voice enough to let him know not to feel bad. "Along with all of my brothers."
Jon was silent for a moment as well. He had to be struggling with the consequences of what happened at The Twins when so many Houses lost their Lords and the heirs. Robb called upon all of his bannermen and ultimately lost the lives of so many due to a stupid mistake.
"It's not your fault." you said suddenly seeing the conflicting emotions on Jon's face. "I don't blame you and you shouldn't blame yourself."
"It's hard not to blame myself when the other Houses we've been to remind us of what happened." He started before immediately back peddling. "I'm sorry, my lady. I shouldn't be so..."
"No you have nothing to be sorry for." you interrupted him before he could put even more blame on himself. "My family knew the possible outcomes of the war. Unfortunately, it wasn't a good one. But I'm ready to gamble all over again."
Jon remained silent listening to your words and letting them sink in. What you said had been true though you could only imagine the coldness he had been receiving from the other Houses who had still been bitter about something that happened years ago.
"You've sure taken on your father's role perfectly." he commented speaking up with an ever so small smile on his lips. "You're not like the other girls in the North are you?"
"What do you mean?" you asked with a small smile of your own gracing your lips.
"I mean you're not...rough like the other Northern girls." he continued. "You're not gentle either. But you're in charge with a kindness that I haven't seen before."
"I know I can't really be kind with the position I'm in..." you started quickly feeling that being referred to as kind may have not been a compliment. Though Jon was quick to explain himself.
"No no. I mean you have a kind heart. You give mercy when there's room for it." he explained. "You've been nothing but kind to us since we've gotten here. I haven't experienced anything like that in awhile."
"You mean the man of the Night's Watch aren't kind to each other?" you asked innocently earning a chuckle from Jon.
His wider smile showed some comfortableness he was experiencing and his eyes seemed more relaxed as if just for a moment he had forgotten of the war to come. You were finding yourself becoming so lost in his gaze that you almost forgot how cold your feet were becoming standing barefoot. Once you realized the growing pain, you stepped back slightly switching the weight of your body to each foot for a few moments of relief.
"Are you alright?" Jon asked noticing your sudden change in posture.
"Yes I'm fine." you told him switching your weight to the other foot. "I just didn't realize how cold my feet were until right now."
"Let's get you inside then." he replied ushering you toward the door following close behind.
The floor to the castle had not been much warmer but felt a bit better than the coldness from the night air. Your skin screamed for the man furs on your bed for comfort though your chamber seemed so far away. The lights from the torches still flickered flawlessly allowing some light to lead you back through the familiar hallways.
Jon remained silent as he walked you back surely ready to sleep as well. He had looked exhausted from the moment he had first entered the castle and even hours later he was still awake.
"You should sleep soon." you told him speaking up. "You looked completely exhausted."
"Making fun of my looks now?" he commented as a tiny jab that took you off guard.
"No I'm not. I'm just looking out for you." you told him arriving at the door of your chamber still with the same guard standing outside looking slightly relieved that you were back.
"Then you should sleep soon as well." he replied. "I'll see you in the morning, my lady."
As he went to walked toward his own chamber, you remembered the heavy fur that he had given you outside.
"Wait I still have your fur." you told him beginning to remove the heavy material from around your shoulders.
"Keep a hold of it for me." he replied still walking away until he was completely out of sight.
Squeezing the fur in your hands you couldn't help but smile brightly as your interaction with him had gone amazingly. As you entered your chamber once again, you blew out the candle by the bed and curled onto the mattress wrapping his fur tightly around your body taking in his scent. For the first time since you father and brothers had been around, you felt safe and could finally sleep in peace without worry.
~~~To be continued~~~
