Chapter XVIII: The Old You

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The Classic Tale of You and Me:
The Old You

The ride was long and tiring. Miku lost count of how many days they were traveling, or how many times they changed trains and sat in eternal silence disturbed by clattering railways. She could not remember how many towns they had seen. Her mind was too preoccupied to care that they were sailing across the Irish Sea to finally arrive on the Dublin Shore.

Inside the hansom, the lady was leaning against the window with her sour and tired expression. None of them disturbed her silence for the whole week of traveling, but it did not mean they never cared about her growing silence.

The road was uphill and rough, it was not a pleasant ride they were having toward the Green Fields. It would rain soon. Her eyes glanced at the sun hiding behind the ominous gray clouds. Miku could only sigh.

Leonard had his eyes on the silent lady for some time already. The look he was giving Mistress Miku was not the affectionate one like Len's gazes, but it was an inquisitive look wondering why was she too quiet. Normally, Miku would argue with him or talk to Lui, and blather everything she would notice. However, today was not a normal day so it was odd. She was acting in an peculiar manner. Leonard could not remember a lot of Len's action so he was clueless what Len did and told her the night before they left Lemmings. He was even clueless if she knew who he was.

But probably not. Miku would exchange murmurs with her attendant asking whether Len was really there that night or not.

Leonard looked somewhere else interesting. The murky sky was threatening to rain, its grayness was slowly darkening the heaven. The endless moor before them showed perpetual green marshy land were heaths grow all over. Everything felt nostalgic for Leonard; he could see Len's childhood memories and hear the laughter echoing in his mind. Leonard believed that every memory of Len's past would make him weak and vulnerable. This was the reason why Leonard wanted him to forget everything. The blond quickly massaged his temples, wishing the unnecessary flashbacks to go away.

'If one is truly gifted, it will show.' These were the words the young Len Ackerman -- the dreamer -- told his adoptive older sister in the past when she mentioned that he should study in an academe. Leonard grasped these powerless words to make it powerful, believing that some talents were not nurtured by the formalities of educational institutions. That included the confidence to reach one's goals without other's help. Leonard was a conceited thinker who thought that the people in Len's past betrayed him, so none should be trusted. Especially those who promised to him. Well, Miku Raleigh was an exception. It was a mystery for Leonard why Len was so attached with the girl's promise that day, where in fact, Leonard found her words as a sham. It was out of pity alone.

'Take someone's grievances away? Share happiness?' Leonard could only laugh at those trifling words -- words which promised nothing but false hopes that loneliness and disappointments could be removed. It was like trying to separate oil and water with bare hands. Truly impossible.

"Are you fine, Leonard?" Sir Rinto noticed the sudden anxious aura Leonard had. Knowing the young man since his youth, Leonard rarely felt nauseated on long drives. Well, Leonard considered Sir Rinto unaware of the things bugging his mind right now. It was not nausea or something at all. The young man just nodded his assent, clearly wished to be unnoticed, and went back staring at the window.

Sir Rinto sighed and let him be. His eyes met his son's gaze and they understood why was Leonard like this. This place was a jar of memories and recollection and nostalgia for Len Ackerman, that would only agonize Leonard's thinking. Leonard was weak against Len -- but Len never realized it himself. Sir Rinto and Lui tried telling him, but Leonard scared Len before he could do any action against the stronger personality. Of course, none of them knew what Leonard was capable of. He probably would not go as bold as the thought of bloodbath, right? The Holly's could only assume.

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