A Gentleman's Kiss

Whispers from the Heart

I call him Mr. Inconsistent; he calls me Ms. Biased.

We share the same interests, we have the same disposition, and unfortunately, we also share the same mood-swings.

We’ve been talking late nights for a few days already. The weather was so terrible again the whole week and we were both stuck in our individual homes. It was rainy season after all. Sadly, we haven’t seen each other for weeks already. Our conversations varied from what we do during the day, what we plan to do once the weather was okay, and surprisingly we started talking about long-term plans.

With his workaholic and persevering attitude, he helps me whenever he can. Most of the time he encourages me that I can do things and helps me keep my sanity when I’m drowning in all the stress around me. He motivates me to finish things that I feel are impossible for me to do. But unfortunately, he also reprimands me hard whenever I hardly get any sleep for doing things, like writing. Unfortunately, he doesn’t know I’ve been consistently writing about him.

He has limited patience for idle time. He easily gets bored. How can I expect him to read what I write? He has one of my works: ‘Fire and Ice’ and he, the nerve of him, debated me about it. That was the beginning that he called me Ms. Biased. The emotions when I wrote it were so raw it could literally bleed from my head. During that time, I suffered a heart break. It was specifically earlier this year, around April. I’d rather not spill the beans since it’s all gone now.

So going back to him, it’s seldom that he complains or even tells me about his personal problems. He did try to open up one night about the stress of his work, I did my best to console him. But not in an overt manner, I still kept a little firmness since being too sweet was childish.

I have this feeling that he doesn’t want too much girly attention.

I wanted to help him, by any means possible, but unfortunately he never allows me to do so. He’s so stressed out as always. Over thinking made him stay awake. I had the same disease. He couldn’t sleep even if he wanted to. He also has this terrible addiction to caffeine which makes him worse than a preying night owl. And of course, I could have coffee on ivy anytime.

When he started to talk, I dropped what I was doing and made time to focus on him. He told me his headaches, his worries, and even touched a very private issue of his family. Truth be told, he has a child already. A very cute baby girl, as I’ve seen in pictures. And he misses her very much, more than words could express.

[Author’s note: Yes, yes, yes. I permit you dear reader to kick me or slap me to my senses. I fell in love with someone who has a complicated life. I know, I know, I’d regret this. But for the meantime, let’s enjoy the ride shall we?]

I tried to soothe his emotions without being overly dramatic about it. I was actually controlling myself not react too much, but if only soothing words could hug him, I would’ve done so. But I simply held myself back. I know being too emotional won’t do any good. In my experience, men hate having clingy women. Clingy like Glad wrap or not, as long as you’ve hung over them too much, they suddenly get allergic to you.

I don’t remember exactly how the conversations shifted to me. He was obviously avoiding talking about his personal life. He asked what were my plans and goals in life. I didn’t want to fuss about it. I was actually fed up of all that planning that never actually happens. I told him though I intended to stop working by September. He didn’t believe me of course, adults can’t be jobless. I had to explain I wanted to graduate from my masters degree, but I wasn’t so sure how I’d do my thesis. I had to stop working so I could finish it, I can’t be out of town for field work if I had to be at work always.