Chapter 14

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Hey guys! This a chapter very dear to my heart. This is also dedicated to anyone and everyone who has dealt with body image issues or anything pertaining to outter beauty. May God be with you and open your eyes as He has done in this chapter to Madeline:)

-God bless!

-Careforbooks!

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Chapter 14

“So.”  Ethan spoke.

“So?” Madeline asked sarcastically as they both ate.

Madeline was starving! It was her first full course meal in three days.

She knew she shouldn’t have listened the devil, and now that God has seriously opened her eyes fully, she can overcome it. She didn’t want Ethan to know about all of it.

He would be so disappointed and that’s how it all started.

“How come you haven’t been eating much lately?” Ethan asked.

Madeline froze. She had a feeling he would ask.

He knew bits and pieces about her past eating disorder, but he didn’t quite understand her.

She knew that that was why he didn’t want to talk about it when she had brought it up on one of their dates as an engaged couple.

Which, she had done the same thing to him. He was going to talk about his addiction to numbness, but she had silenced him.

 And when she brought up her struggles with thinness and beauty, he had given her the same quote.

“What’s in the past is in the past. Let’s not bring it into the present, shall we?”

When he had said that to her that night, she regretted ever saying it to him.

“Well…I just haven’t been. That’s all.” Madeline tried to plaster a smile on, knowing it wasn’t fooling him.

“Madeline. I know you better than that. Please tell me your not going to back to that…that….”

“Disease? Demon? Hectic lifestyle of worrying about what the next person s thinking about you because you feel like such a failure, such a disappointment?”

Madeline asked.

“Yeah. I didn’t mean to, but somehow, I felt like such a disappointment to you by miscarrying. But that was while ago now and I see that God doesn’t want me to do that. I figured that I could make you happy by getting smaller.”

Madeline hung her head in shame. She knew that she shouldn’t think like that. Getting approval by “dieting.”

More like starving, and she knew it was wrong. She shouldn’t go down that path again. And after reading what she read, she knew she couldn’t.

They that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength, They that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength.”  She repeated in her mind.

“Oh, Honey. That’s not going to make me happier. I love you. You are beautiful, inside and out. And I still see why I married you. Not for your looks, not for your body, not for anything…but who you are. You have the most beautiful soul I have ever seen. Without you in my life, there is a gap where my heart should be.”

Madeline smiled. “Ethan…” She said breathlessly. “That was…beautiful.” She sat her fork down and looked at him mysteriously.

 “Now, what website on the internet did you get that one off of?” She asked sarcastically.

Ethan’s mouth dropped open. “What? Can I not be a hopeless romantic for the love of my life?”

He held up his glass of tea and held it in the center of the table. “To my beautiful and lovely wife.”

Madeline smiled and she raised her glass to his. She flinched at the sound of the clinking glass, although she knew it would make that noise.

All she knew was that Ethan sure knew how to charm a woman…

Always had, always would.

And she knew that she will always love her husband.

Always have, always will.

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