Limerence |James Potter|

Four

"I was as pure as a river,

But now I think I'm possessed."

ϟϟϟ

There was an ever present tremor on Selene's lips the next morning. Not trembling enough for passerbyers to see, but just enough that Selene could feel it. She was well on her way for an emotional meltdown.

This was how she dealt with crushes, unfortunately. By pretending that they aren't happening and that she has no feelings. But the rush of feelings that she gets whenever she makes eye contact or god forbid, is talked to, is enough to kill her.

That's why when she went to the Great Hall for breakfast, she walked right past her regular spot across from James and sat near her former crush. After all, wasn't it better to force feelings on someone that's available rather than someone you could never have a chance with?

Ryan and his group raised their eyebrows at her in question. It was no secret that Selene has, or rather had, a crush on Ryan. Not after Sirius and James' reading of her diary, at least.

"Hi, Ryan," Selene smiled kindly at him, trying her best to stop the tremor by admiring his dark green eyes.

"Hey Selene," his eyes skimmed her appearance, taking in her every distraught feature. From her uneven height socks to her untucked button-up shirt to her bed hair, it was clear as day that Selene was feeling like shit. "Are you feeling alright?"

"I'm dandy," Selene's reply came out short. It ended the possibility for all conversation, leaving their section of the table in an awkward silence.

After they ate breakfast in silence, the students began filing out to their classes. Selene remained seated, her mind full of self pity.

She didn't notice that Ryan remained seated beside her until she felt a hand on her arm, squeezing gently. Selene looked at him from behind teary-eyes.

"Selene," he said carefully, his eyes not quite focusing directly on her. He was looking through her almost, making her squirm a little in discomfort. "I don't know what's going on with you, but it's not worth tearing yourself up over. You're an amazing girl with a bright future ahead of you, anyone can see that. I just hope that you can, too."

Selene almost laughed at the irony. She would've killed anyone to have Ryan saying this a week ago. (Well, probably not this exactly, she would've died of embarrassment if he saw her as a mess prior). But here she was, with Ryan staring through her with his all-knowledgeable green eyes and his warm hand clasped around one of her arms. She was ashamed to say that she didn't feel anything.

"Ryan-" she began but stopped herself short. How would she describe that she was no longer infatuated with him, but with someone way more untouchable?

"It's okay, Selene," he smiled warmly, so infectious that Selene couldn't stop her own small smile from breaking out. "You don't have to explain yourself. But I'm here if you ever want to, even if it doesn't make sense."

Selene nodded, her brown eyes filled with awe. She knew she used to like this boy for a reason.

"Want me to walk you to your first class?" Ryan asked, standing up and adjusting his red and gold tie.

Selene frowned at the thought of school. She loved school, she really did, but when she was an emotional wreck it was the definition of torture. "I think I'm going to call it a sick day today," She found herself saying.

Ryan nodded, his expression thoughtful. Depressions dotted his chin as he told her, "I'll tell the teachers for you, although I'm sure you'll have somebody checking up on you. Perhaps an owl who will peck you for not coming to class..."