Limerence |James Potter|

Twenty-One

"If you only knew how many times I counted all the words that went wrong."

ϟϟϟ

Selene was with Lily and Mary on a park bench in a courtyard. All of the snow that had come the night before had melted away into nothingness and for the first time in a while, Selene felt warm. It was a welcome feeling, to feel safe in the sanctuary that is her friendship with other people.They were doing nothing, really. It was a mixture of trying to do homework or be some form of productive, with one of them piping up with a joke and them all falling over laughing. They could not focus for the life of them, but she appreciated the company.

It was pleasant, until she heard a wolf-whistle from a passerby. Her eyes darted in the direction and a Hufflepuff seventh year was gazing their way. He had two friends by his side, a girl who was rolling her eyes and a boy who was egging him on.

"Hey Nightwell!" He called.

Mary nudged her. "Ignore them."

Selene knew Mary was right, but she was bothered by the disruption. Too bothered to stop herself. "What?" She asked in a call.

"Why do homework when you can do me?" He said, ending in a snicker.

Selene watched as the girl in the group visibly turned uncomfortable, her face turning a shade of red that was similar to that of a tomato. She grabbed the caller's arm and dragged him behind her as she stormed off. The boy in the group laughed and followed them off.

Selene shook her head, "What a nuisance."

Lily and Mary exchanged looks. Selene knew the look anywhere. They were worried about her, worried that the snide comment would end in another meltdown.

But, they did not know that Selene felt fine. Despite the degrading remarks, despite her evening spent with James, she felt fine.

"That wasn't very Hufflepuff of them, thank Merlin they seem to have a babysitter with them," Mary joked after a moment, only half-kiddingly. She stared straight ahead and sighed, "Speaking of babysitters... Where is one for him?"

On cue, the charming devil himself arrived. His hair was tidier than it has been in a while and his eyes sent a shiver down Selene's spine. But, he was not there for her.

"Lily, can we talk?" James asked. His voice was thick with exhaustion, but there was a purpose that underlined his words that was undeniable. There was a reason he was often seen as a leader amongst the Marauders. And it was because of his manner of speaking with confidence and purpose, even when he did not feel it himself.

The red-headed girl shot Selene a look, ensuring it was okay with her friend. Selene nodded, keeping her eyes calmly on the black-haired boy.

Lily whispered to the two, "I'll be right back." She hopped off the bench and followed James to the unoccupied far end of the courtyard.

Selene watched the pair exchange words. James spent a few moments talking. His hands were in his pockets, but he does hand gestures when he is nervous and she could see the movement of his pockets as he spoke. He was animated and Lily nodded along with what he said.

Lily's response to whatever he told her was short. She offered her hand out and James rushed to shake her hand. Out of his pocket fell a note, but James nor Lily noticed. After a firm handshake, James stalked off and Lily back to their spot on the bench.

Selene didn't notice that Mary had been watching Selene the entire time. That is, until she turned her head. Mary's lips were pursed, analyzing her friend with skeptical honey brown eyes.

Selene did not address Mary, instead choosing to address Lily who was arriving back at their bench. "What did James want?"

"He wanted to apologize," Lily's voice came out in a huff. She shook her hand, unable to hide the half smile. "For everything. For actively pursuing me for so long, despite my rejection. For bullying Severus against my wishes before our fallout. For being an overall arse." Her bright green eyes twinkled as they met Selene's. "He was very nice about everything."

Mary scuffed. "I don't trust him. He was very nice about everything, my ass! Look what he did to poor Selene!" She gestured to Selene.

Selene looked between the two baffled. She thought that she looked okay today. She braided her hair before bed last night so her brown hair was in neat waves. She applied lipstick to avoid chapped lips from the change of weather and ensured her uniform was crinkle free before applying it. In short, she had no idea what was giving them the impression that she was not doing well. Yes, she has been bad in the past. But her insides felt warm today. She felt fine.

Lily sighed, "I know. But, his apology is a step in the right direction."

Mary shook her head, "I hope he continues in the right direction. That man is a git and owes at least ten apologies to Selene."

Selene did not have anything to contribute to this conversation. Despite the occasional insults and actions that earned her those insults, she felt fine.

ϟϟϟ

Selene arrived back at her dorm late that day to see a note on her door. In a familiar, scribbled text said one thing: You dropped something.

Selene ripped the note off her door and entered her room. There, on her bed, was the infamous teddy bear she had tossed out all those nights ago. Her feet were unable to move into the room, her eyes welling up with tears.

The teddy bear was always a symbol of her and James' friendship. How they would always be there for each other. When she threw it out the window, she cut ties with that bond with James. But here it was, on her bed. Right where it had always been.

James had made himself right back at home in her room. It was then that Selene admitted that she was anything but fine. For as long as James is in her life and the sever is not repaired, Selene will not be.

She plunked down on her bed, and without a word, began to stroke the fur of the bear. It smelt freshly washed, which she supposed it would have to be after the drop out of the Gryffindor tower. It did not just smell clean, it smelt like her favourite mixture of smells - green tea, mint, and fresh grass.

It smelt like James Potter. She could not repress the flutter that her heart took part in. Her mind flashed to when James Potter first gave it to her. It was at least twice his height. He was a mere eleven year old with big dreams, and even bigger gifts. He claimed he won the bear at a carnival when she asked about it, but she knew deep in her heart that Mrs. Potter bought it. James was horrid at muggle carnival games. When he had dropped it off, its white fur was faintly stained brown from scraping the dirt on his walk over.

Selene loved it then. And she loves it now. Selene hugged the bear, not stopping her mind from wandering to why it came back to her.

Maybe it was a sign. Maybe it was just a kind house-elf. Either way, Selene was grateful.

It had been through too much with her to be just discarded of like garbage. She clung to it. Her and James had been through too much together to be discarded of like garbage.

She needed to repair what she could.