Saving Grace [Completed]

Chapter 1

* warning: this first chapter is kind of graphic and involves rape and self harm. The other chapters are not as graphic, so please read on :)*
The sweet ecstasy as the blade slid across my leg. My mouth open as the perfect sting filled me. The sight of the crimson blood dripping from the fresh cut down my leg. I threw my head back and closed my eyes. My release after another wonderful day. I tried not to hate myself as I gazed at myself in the mirror. I turned my face from side to side making notes of all my flaws. I opened the medicine cabinet and threw back a few Oxycontin my mom kept in there. One more and that's it. I grabbed my knife and slid one more from my knee up. I stood there as I watched more blood drip down. I like to put tissue on my cut and see the blood soak up. The stain gradually growing and the tissue becoming more wet. "Grace!" I quickly threw on my pants and ran down stairs. I poked my head around the corner to the kitchen, "Yeah?"

Mom was sitting at the table with dad. "Hon, sit down we need to talk." I sat down and looked between mom and dad. Great. This is it. I knew this was coming. Mom and dad have been having problems for a while. "We're.. well. Dad isn't going to be living here anymore. We're getting a divorce." I crossed my arms. "I know.. It's because of his whore, huh?" "Grace!" Dad shot me a glare. "No, Randy. She knows. She knows about her and it's fine that she feels anger towards her. She ruined our family." "Anna I'm sick of this. You said you were going to be an adult about this, but obviously not. Grace, I'll call you when I can." Dad left that day with fifteen years stuffed in one suitcase. Thank god he left behind enough daddy issues to last me a while.

It's just going to be mom and I for a while. After dad left, mom placed her head against the table and cried. I hugged her, "you don't need that scumbag, mom." I gave her a kiss on her forehead and made my way back to my room. I sat on my bed in the dark. I laid on my bed and put on my headphones. Music was the one thing I could easily get lost into. The next day at school I met up with Emily. We always did our morning routine, met in the bathroom, made sure we looked up to pare, and caught up from what happened from the last time we talked up to now. "So mom finally called it quits with Randy.." Emily rolled her eyes. "It's about fucking time, he's a scumbag!" We walked arm in arm to our first class and sat across from each other.

Another boring session with Mr. Drum. There's this boy named Ryan that I always get my fix from so I gave him a wink during class. We met behind the lockers after class. "You know the drill Grace, you want your oxy, I want my dick sucked." I got on my knees and performed the dirty. I popped a few oxy and was barely able to focus for the rest of the day. When I got home, mom was gone. I called Emily over and we laid on my bed and watched a few movies. She doesn't know about how I get my oxy at school, or even that I do it. "Hey so, my brother said he could hook us up with some alcohol, you in?" Emily fidgeted. "Um, I don't know Grace. I have you know, school and stuff tomorrow and my parents don't know that I'm even over here. You know they don't like you. I told them I'm over at Lindsey's house." I gave her the puppy dog eyes, "come on Em, I promise I'll just have you do one shot!" I gave her a giant smile. She pushed me, "Fine, O.K., just one!" I squealed and jumped up.

I threw open Jake's door. "Emily said yeah! Get to it!" Jake was in the room with his girlfriend. They were under the covers and I knew they were trying to get busy, but I didn't care. "O.K. Grace, in a minute." I ran back in the room with Emily and continued our girl night. Jake came in a few hours later with a brown bag. "Bottoms up.." I jumped up and hugged him. "Thanks bro!" I jumped back on the bed with Emily and sat in front of her. "How'd Jake get that anyway, isn't he 18?" I laughed. "You obviously don't know Jake. He has really old friends that get all kinds of shit for him." After a few gulps of vodka I started to feel real good. Emily just had one sip and she said she felt sick. I called up Ryan for another dose. "Heeey.. Ryan do you have any oxy?" He chuckled. "More? Damn, you must really like my dick. No girl, but I have heroin. Want it?" I put my hand on my face trying to focus. "Um, is that like oxy?" He chuckled again. "Oh yeah, just like it. But this time, it's going to cost you more." "Oh.. O.K. um.. Come pick me up O.K.?"

He arrived at my house about thirty minutes later and I met him in his car as I told Emily to wait at my house. She wasn't too happy, but hey, I wanted to feel better. He pulled into an alley and parked. He looked over at me and pulled out the baggy. I went to grab for it before he grabbed my arm. "Nope, first things first. Take off your pants." My heart dropped. I did sexual favors for him, but I was a virgin. Well, at least I told myself I was. Getting raped by your uncle doesn't count in my book. I backed to the door. "I.. never mind Ryan. I don't want that." He grabbed me by the arm and shoved my head against the door. "You want your fucking drugs?" He got a knife and tore off my shirt. I tried to push him away and got my hand cut. He pushed me back and cut the front of my bra off. "Fuck yeah, you have nice titties girl." I cried and tried to push him away. He slammed my head in the door over and over again and my head broke the door glass. I couldn't focus and I put my hand on the back of my head and felt that it was wet. I looked at my hand and saw it covered in blood.

"You broke my window you bitch!" He pulled off his pants and pushed my face towards his dick. He held the knife to my throat. "Suck it, now." I sucked his dick and tried not to choke as he pushed my head further. I was crying so hard and I felt so dizzy. He came in my mouth and pushed me off. "Oh, fuck yeah. Here's your drugs, whore." He threw the baggie at me and shamefully, I picked it up. He snorted some of the heroin with me and went back to my house. "You know I love you right?" I nodded and grabbed for the door. "Give me a fucking kiss!" I went to kiss him before he pushed me away. "Wait, I forgot I came in your mouth. Maybe next time." I left and went into my bathroom. I sat against the wall and started to cry again. I got up and popped some more oxy before I passed out on the bathroom floor.

I woke up from Jake shaking me. "Grace!" I looked up at him and sat up. I put my hand on my head and closed my eyes. "Wha-" he touched the back of my head. "Shit Grace, mom's going to be home soon. If she see's this, she'll be pissed." He started to pull the glass out of the back of my head and gave me cloth to bite on while he poured peroxide on the back of my head. He handed me some water and told me to go to sleep.

~Author's note~ 

so i noticed that there are a lot of people reading the first chapter and not continuing to the next and then I'm losing more people at the third chapter. Could you give me a quick comment with feedback so I can learn why I'm losing people for when I write my next book? Like perhaps you don't like the graphic details of certain things or what stops you from reading the next chapter? Thank you! :D