Neighbors with the Bad Boy (In Editing And Reconstruction)

Hurt and Repulse

~Excuse the mistakes

Chapter 19

Something was going on between the two of us, Kayden and I, and it was more than I had ever hoped for. I was aiming for us to be friends—acquaintances, really, at one time. But it seemed as though fate wanted more for us, more between us. But I wasn’t ready for that, Kayden and I, and I knew I wasn’t ready to break up with Mike, either. The very thought had me wanting to cry. Though, then again, if Kayden and I continued to feel these things for one another, causing multiple thoughts to run through my head, such as cheating and lying, I was unsure if I could continue with me and Mike’s relationship—I was unsure if I could proceed in pretending that everything was okay, because that would be a lie, that would be wrong. If I did do that, then wouldn’t it only hurt him more in the end? And what about me?

What about my feelings, my heart? What about what I wanted, what I needed? Didn’t that matter? I guess it didn’t, though, because I really wasn’t sure what I wanted—Kayden or Mike—or what I needed. I was perplexed. I was stumped. I was speechless. Right now, for me, everything was crazy, everything was confusing. I didn’t know anything. Nothing.

What was even worse was that today was the night of the Winter Dance and my date was my boyfriend, Mike Jones. And, here comes the horrible part, I didn’t even know how I felt about him. Two days to a week ago I had. Back then, I would be able to tell you that I loved him; he was the boy I couldn’t live without. Back then, I would be able to tell you that I could only breathe when he kissed me, when he touched me. Back then, I would be able to tell you that he was my world—my everything. But now? Now was different. I believed that I held compassion for the so-called bad boy at school, and just recently had I found out. Mike, I knew, still meant something so me, something powerful. But I didn’t know what it was.

But with Kayden I did know. In a way, at least. I knew I liked him. I knew liked him in more-of-a-friend way. Though I didn’t know if the feelings I held for Kayden dominated the feelings that I held for Mike. It was a thought that made me go numb and blank, just because of the lingering process that it caused.

Abruptly, I shook my head, erasing all of the words that were jumbled inside of my mind. Tonight was supposed to be my night—Mike and I’s night. Everything else, all of my problems, would be gone, invisible. Tonight was going to be the best night ever—fun and exhilarating, like no other.

Jessie situated the yellow flower in my brown hair, adjusting it so the position was unlike the former one, meaning not irritational and itchy. “There,” said Jessie in accomplishment, grinning widely. “Now look in the mirror.”

I rotated my body and studied my reflection, like I had been doing whenever I wore this beautiful and elegant fabric. The ruby dress reached just inches above my ankles, allowing the matching high-heels to be visible. My makeup was light: a coat of beige eye shadow, layer over layer of mascara, and a tad bit of lip gloss. My hair was styled in curls, flowing down my shoulder and lying on my pale arm, the yellow flower over my right ear. A pair of studded diamond earrings punctured both of my earlobes and a similar, though not exact, diamond necklace was wrapped around my neck. I looked different and, in my friends’ opinion, gorgeous. But I was still the same old Elyse Blackheart, just in a new skin, in a new perspective.

Jessie’s face lit up. “You look gorgeous—more gorgeous than me, if that’s even possible.” Jessie gestured to her peach-colored dress she was clothed in. It was short and covered with sequins. She looked amazing, though Jessie always looked amazing. Makeup and a brush, for Jessie, was just an auxiliary, a helper. But for me, sadly, it was a necessity, a need. “Mike is going to think you are so hot.” Immediately, Linda slapped our best friend in the back of her head, as if to punish her. “Ouch, what was that for?” Jessie rubbed the spot Linda had smacked, glaring at her.