Cold wind woke me up and I tried fighting it and putting myself back in sleep but it didn't work so I opened my eyes to find josh holding me.
we were still on the bridge,we slept here whole night I guess.
"josh" I whispered pointing out the "o" in his name like I always do.he just mumbled something and I looked to the road side seeing cars passing by.i don't even remember last night that well I just know I was really scared.
"josh" I said it louder than a whisper and cuddled his face.
"mm tyler" he opened his eyes slowly and yawned. "since when are u awake?" he rubbed his eyes.
"like a minute or two ago" I smiled just looking at him.
"I'm sorry I fell asleep here, i.." he looked around. "u must be cold"
"nono I'm okay" I bit my lip. "I'm sorry josh"
"no ty I'm sorry" he sighed. "for not bringing my charger with me so my phone died I was stuck in a lake house without u" he talked kinda fast. "I should've been here"
"but u came in just right time I guess" i touched his face. "so thank u"
"no thank u" he kissed me gently and we got up slowly. "let's build that tree house"
it's colder in forest.it's also silent.
we got materials ready days ago and now we're here building our own little place in the trees.
"nono I'll get that!" josh picked up a huge piece of wood we needed and put it up,he looked after me u know made sure I wasn't doing anything hard but I don't see the reason,I can lift it up.
"josh I could put it up too" I laughed a little.
"just don't want my queen to hurt himself"
"I told u about that nickname" I kicked his shoulder playfully.
"just go with it already" he smiled.did I ever tell u how beautiful his smile is?it's like.. it's like nature coming alive in spring.
I jumped out of the house to go get some paint we brought and then I heard a voice say something I could actually understand.
"wake up tyler"
I froze as I looked around myself,only trees.only me and josh and trees.nothing,no one else.so this is in my head again.
"please tyler, wake up it's been so long"
I couldn't hear it clearly but I could understand the words. It was a gentle voice,kinda shaken up,female I'm guessing.it's like I've heard it before but I can't figure out where.
"hey are u okay!?" I heard josh yell.
"uh..yeah!!coming!" I bit my lip and climbed back up.
we've been here all morning and we made it.we made this little tree house we're sitting in right now.
josh got lost looking through window and trying to paint the inside of it in the same time so I just took my time staring at him.i admired every inch of his body,every single little detail he probably never even notices on himself.like when he smiles his eyes shut down a little bit,he has this little habit of putting his fingers together if he feels nervous,he's also been scared to shave for like 5 days so he asks me to shave him,yeah he cut himself accidently and I think it's kinda sweet how scared he is now.i mean looking at him he has huge arms and all those tattoos and is scared because of this,he also loves kittens.
I took my notebook and pen that's already been inside and I drew a little heart on the side of new page,I never really draw hearts if I ever drew something it's probably just weird shapes.
"writing something?" he looked at me.
"not really,more like drawing"
"what is in that notebook?"
"u will find out one day"
"but what is it?u always have it with urself and u always write down" he let the paint from his hands and sat beside me.
"jish I said no" I closed it and smiled.
"u know I don't have anyone I could tell"
"I know it's just i'm scared"
"of me?"
"no not u" i shook my head.
"urself?" touched my arm and ran his fingers on it.
"how did u know that?" i turned head to his side.
"I know how it is to be afraid of urself" he took my hand and kissed it.
"I'm here josh" now I brought his hand to my lips and kissed it. "I know it doesn't make the fear go away but I will help u"
"u already are" he smiled a bit and looked down at the wooden floor.
"he's not waking up" stop..how do I stop u from talking whoever u are.
we spent about half an hour just sitting in silence,well we could hear birds and noises from forest but our voices were muted and we enjoyed it,I didn't let goof his hand and at some point I even closed my eyes.
"josh"
"yes tyler?"
"what will happen when all this goes away?"
"what do u mean ty?" i opened my eyes to see him but he still had his closed soI closed back mine.
"I mean..when we die what will happen to us?to this place?"
"what if we just come back to this house?"
"I'm scared" I whispered.
"me too" he whispered back.
"I don't want all this to go away"
"and I believe it won't"
I leaned on his shoulder making sure I remember those words.
___________________
"josh what are u doing!?" I laughed as he stepped on me again.
"look I'm sorry I'm not a good dancer!" he was slightly annoyed and it made him even infinite times more interesting.
"calm down!just follow me!" I put his hand on my waist again and took his other hand. "look one foot here and the other here" I showed him where to step and we started moving to the song again.it was some slow song and we were trying to dance in my living room while everyone is away.
"is this right?"he held me tightly and I moved with him.
"yes u see?we got this" I smiled as we did the spin and he didn't actually let me fall. "u even did that right!"
he pulled me and we stopped for a moment then kissed.it's like it lasted for so long and I loved that.it seemed like I will always remember the taste of his lips and I held the end of his shirt so tightly I think it got wet.
"I love u" he whispered.
so this is what love feels like?it feels like I have wings at this moment and I also see josh's.why did those 3 words make my blood rush?
"I love u too" I said it just proudly hoping I was giving him the same feeling.
(josh's pov)
this feels like I have wings at this moment and I can see tyler's too.i've always been a simple guy not even so "deep" but look at me now.i see meaning in everything.those 3 words made my blood rush. I mean months ago I wouldn't even think there is reason to stay alive and now suddenly I'm sleeping on bridge with my little boyfriend and building tree house in a huge forest.
(tyler's pov)
a really loud song started playing and it was kinda fast so josh grabbed me and lifted me up.
"JOSHUA!" I never say his full name and it made me laugh.
"oh wow TYLER!"
"u always call me tyler!!" he suddenly made a huge spin with me in his arms. "stop!!aaa!"I screamed and laughed at same time.
"shut up!!" he put me down and started dancing with me in not even a way close to the slow dance before this was fun and happy and I enjoyed it too.
_____________________
whole day was great and I didn't know josh could run so fast I mean I remember when I saw him second time ever and he saved us from that guy I ruined his shirt with my pizza but it wasn't as fast as today,we got in trouble again but that's a long story.
"is it good like this?"
"mm mhm" i smiled and leaned my head back on josh's shoulder.
we were in bath and he was behind me,it's so relaxing to be leaned against him he has his arms around me.
he cuddled my stomach and my down part and I put my hand on his.
"ahh josh" I turned my head to side and kissed him.
"does it feel good?" I nodded and he moved his hand against me.
"ahh y..yes" I made myself more comfy against his hard member. "I love u"
"I love u too ty" he slowly pushed inside me and I arched my back and held to bath.
he moved slowly and I did with him,water was spilling from bath on the floo rbut I didn't care I just kept moving while he was kissing my neck.
"aahh josh..baby..ahh" we started going faster but I felt so connected with him just like last time.so I pulled myself up and turned to face him.then I sat in his lap taking all of him inside and hugging him around neck then I started moving up and down and however it felt good to move.water spilled more but nothing else matter at this point.
he makes me feel real.
