Loving You

Chapter 1

As I had predicted, my cousins had arranged an elaborate welcome for us. As if the dhol and nagadas were not enough, they had hired some dancers. If it wasn't evident before, this should make it clear. My cousins were over-the-top and filmy!

Tarun, the crazy guy that he was, soaked in all the drama and was enjoying dancing with those dancers and with my cousins.

I on the other hand was in a different soup altogether.

After my Mom had done her aarti (Indian ritual) to welcome me, I was literally tossed from one relative to other. Each one taking turns to squash me in a tight hug. I was their pass-the-parcel in short, with music and all!

By the time they were done with me, I was dazed and had little sense of orientation. I probably even looked like a zombie. I sure as hell felt like one!

"Putar (child)" Bejee (grandmom) called out, signaling me to come towards her.

I touched her feet and hugged her gently. She looked frail. She had grown so old in these past 10 years. The Bejee I remembered before leaving was full of vitality. But age has a way of catching up with everyone.

"How are you?" I asked her gently in Punjabi.

"I am better now that you are here" she told me, while running her hand over my head "He is a soona munda (nice boy)" she said pointing to Tarun

I nodded with a smile. Bejee was probably the only one who didn't want me to be with Sahil. She was never much of a fan of his. It never bothered me much then. But then nothing much said against Sahil ever registered with me. I was blind to it all, by choice.

But after all these years, it felt good to see her approve my choice. She patted my cheeks as I made to stand by and take in the house that I had grown up in. A house that I had missed these last 10 years, and yet never realised quite how much, until right that moment.

That was when my eyes fell on her. She was standing away from all. She still had the same love and care in her eyes for me. Shalini Maa.

She wasn't really my Mom. My mom was Jasvinder Sethi. Jassi for all her near and dear ones. But Shalini Maa was no less than Mom to me.

I felt something catch in my throat as I saw her. I hadn't spoken to her these 10 years. I felt guilty about it now. I took tentative steps towards her. My eyes welling  up with emotions that I wasn't sure I could express in words.

She had always been like a sister to my Mom. Actually more than a sister. She was married to my Papa's best friend, Rajendra uncle or Raj as he liked to call himself. I felt a smile break on my face at that thought of the filmy things he would do when we were kids. He even planned to change Shalini Maa's name to Simran at one point in time. For a second I wondered where he was, before I remembered Papa mentioning that he would be back in the evening, as I was being tossed around.

Shalini Maa, unlike Raj uncle, was never much into the filmy craziness that uncle displayed, but she was always a good sport and took all of his antics in her stride.

My connection with her was different. It was deeper than the one I shared with my own Mom. And she for her part, loved me more than she loved her own son. More than she loved Sahil.

She was the one who realized it first, when I was hurting over Sahil. She was the first one who told me he wasn't worth it, if he caused me so much pain.

"Shalini Maa" I said softly as I reached her, before I hug her tightly. I knew this tight hug would not make up for all the hugs that we missed in those 10 years, but I couldn't help but want to hang on to her.