Brothers In Arms

Chapter 3

Over the next few days Josie had been in and out of Saint Thomas to visit Abel and Wendy, passing Gemma every so often, but she'd barely laid eyes on Opie or Jax. This day, though, this day was different and she felt it the moment she stepped into the hospital. Wendy went into cardiac arrest sometime during the night, and as hard as they tried the doctors and nurses could not save her. Hearing the news instantly unraveled her, she was gutted and shaky, and immediately left without seeing Abel. She went to the clubhouse to look for Jax, really unsure of who else she could talk to about Wendy, but he wasn't there.

"He's at home," Opie said somberly. "I'm sorry about Wendy."

"Yeah, thanks," she shrugged. "No one else loved her, we were all she had and I don't know who else I can talk to about her."

"If you need someone," he mumbled awkwardly, "I have a lot of practice listening and I don't talk much."

Josie actually smiled at that. "Thank you, that's sweet, but it's not the same."

He understood but he had hoped he could be the one to comfort her. "I get it," Opie shrugged. "He's at his place with Gem, apparently, they got some legal shit to handle."

"Yeah, it's probably a mess." Josie reached up and hugged him unexpectedly. His surprise was clear, taking a few seconds to respond and hug back, but once he did the embrace was warm and comforting. "Thanks for all your help."

"Yup, you're welcome."

They shared a lingering look before Josie turned back to her car and headed toward Jax's. She hesitated at the door, unsure if she was overstepping, before knocking lightly on the door. Gemma answered, looking less than mournful, and scoffed at Josie.

"Is Jax here?" she ignored Gemma's attitude.

"He's busy," Gemma said sharply.

"Ma," she heard Jax from the hall. "Let her in."

Gemma stepped aside and Josie saw Jax, eyes rimmed red and cheeks puffy, as he moved to hug her. "I'm so sorry, Jax," Josie whispered.

"Thank you," he mumbled into her hair. "I'm sorry too, I know you two were close."

She laughed ruefully and nodded as they parted. "So close that you didn't know about me," she said to lighten the mood.

"Come on," he took her hand and led her to the kitchen. "Coffee?"

"Please," she sat at the table. "Gotta a kick you can add?"

"Hell yeah, I do." He poured her a cup, a hearty shot of whiskey added, and placed it in front of her with milk and sugar.

"Thank you," she said gratefully.

"Tara said the crank destroyed her heart, it was too weak," Jax said darkly. "I don't know how much they told you."

"Cardiac arrest," he shrugged. "No details."

"Sorry," he frowned.

"You're fine," she shook her head. "Can I do anything? At all?"

"I'll leave you two," Gemma said, her words heavy with judgment. "Walk me to the door, Jax."

Giving Josie's hand a squeeze, Jax excused himself and escorted his mother to the front door. "I can handle everything from here."

"With her?" She asked with annoyance.

"I'm a grown man," he said quickly.

"Mm hmm," she pursed her lips, "That's what I'm afraid of."

Gemma left, disappointed in him and annoyed by Josie's constant intrusion, and Jax headed back to the kitchen to find Josie drying her tears.

"Don't worry about her," Jax smiled sadly. "She means well."

"Does she?" Josie scoffed. "Opie said she could be tough."

Jax nodded, "That's an understatement. Wendy never mentioned her?"

"Not really," Josie shrugged, "But when she did it seemed like typical in-law crap."

"Not typical," Jax laughed ruefully. "The hospital wants to know how she got the meth in. It wasn't some small bump."

"Five milliliters," she said sadly, "I skimmed her chart the other day."

With a heavy sigh, Jax wiped the tears starting to spill from his eyes. "I kept wondering what kind of a mother she was gonna be to Abel but now he's got no mom."

"He's going to be fine," Josie said with a small smile. "He's got a great dad and a crazy fierce grandma taking care of him."

Jax nodded. "Wendy wanted you in Abel's life and I'm not going to take that away from him or you."

"Thank you," she sputtered as she began to cry again. "That means a lot."

"Auntie," he said with a smile that quickly fell. "I'm glad you came over, mourning Wendy isn't popular."

"Well, I get that. It's hard not to be mad," she sighed. "I hate it though; I hate feeling like a victim when she's the one we're burying. I feel like she betrayed me by using AND overdosing, I know I shouldn't, I know it's wrong but I do."

"That's what I thought," he scoffed. "As soon as Tara told me it was like skipped out on me and Abel after everything."

Josie suddenly tensed, clamping her mouth shut and wrapping her fingers around the hot ceramic sitting on the table in front of her. She just nodded, deep in thought, before downing the lukewarm coffee. "I should go."

As Jax moved his chair out from the table, the wood scraping loudly along the tile, as she hurried toward the door. "Jos," he called out after her. "Wait, I'm sorry. I know she didn't skip out."

"It's not that," she whimpered. "I just...I see it from both sides." When she turned they were face to face with barely an inch between them. "I have to deal, you know, I have a lot of regret and survivor's guilt, the whole junkie thing."

"You're not a junkie," Jax said staunchly, taking her hands in his. "Wendy made her choices and you made yours."

"Jax," Josie said in a tiny breathy whisper. "You have no idea."

His hands moved slowly up her arms until his thumbs pressed on the crook of her elbow. "Junkies are weak, unreliable, and that's not what I've seen since the day Abel was born."

When Josie looked up at him wanting to explain, knowing he was greatly underestimating her past, he kissed her sweetly, full of a sorrowful kind of longing, and even though he knew Opie had eyes on her and Josie felt that connection, neither of them stopped from blindly stumbling toward his bedroom. They stepped through the doorway, lips still locked, and their arms instinctively snaked around each other. It wasn't a conscious choice until after they had already stripped, their bodies moving faster than their minds, but once he laid her gently onto the bed there was nothing either of them wanted more than each other. Jax's goatee rubbed roughly against her skin, leaving a stinging pink trail up her abdomen and between her breasts while her nails dug into his back, scratching along his tattoo. Hooking his arm under her knee Jax entered her and instantly the sorrow and pain they both suffered from disappeared as they found the necessary yet momentary connection they'd been searching for.