Breathing In

2

Dead? I can't believe it. "No, he's not. You're lying again, like always. I don't believe you." I say. Even though I know James has never lied to me, and we've been friends longer than that, I won't accept this. I look at his hazel-brown eyes, at the way his head tilts to the side, letting his long hair frame his face, and I know that he can't be lying. But he must be. It can't be true. It's not true. It can't be, it can't be, it can't be. I chant to myself.

"Look, Rebecca. I know you must be in shock, but it's true, whatever you convince yourself to think, he's gone. You may not want to, but the funeral is at the labs on tuesday," He looks up, hopeful, "So if you wanted to come home, if not for me, than for Charlie..."

"No. I, no." I stutter. Tears are already welling up in my eyes. I already know I have to go. I turn away from his solemn face as a single tear falls, and I wipe it away.

"James, I know how much you want me to come-" As I turn to talk to him again I see him walking off to the lot of cars. he gets in a beat-up black convertible and pulls out slowly. he catches my eyes as he does, and I look away, my face still hot with uncried tears.

I look over to the dorms and my feet start walking involuntarily. My head is filled with questions from the brief encounter and I start to cry full-on tears as I head back towards my room I share with Char. I walk up the long flight of stairs and look around at the ever fading reality. My eyes are still wet with tears as I slowly creak the door open. What a relief it is to hear the comforting sound of Char's voice when she calls my name.

"Becca. Rebecca! What's wrong? Your crying, come on. Sit down, tell me what's wrong." Like a haze has covered me, I start telling her about Charlie

"He's my uncle, Charlie. I spend all my vacations with him, because I do not want to go to my dads. He's kind, and sweet. But, he does work with my dad."

"Wait, why are you telling me this?" Char asks, confused.

"Well,an old friend told me he's dead, and I-I, I have to go to the funeral." I tell Char. Suddenly, the door bursts open and Josh comes in.

"HEY! Who's ready to get some fun on!" He yells, oblivious.

"JOSH!" Char yells at him. "Can't you see that she is CRYING her eyes out. Try to be a little considerate you-"

"Oh. Oh my god, Becca. I'm sorry, come here." He scoots to my other side and hold me with char in his big arms as I cry some more.

"So, what happened?" Josh says.

"I think my uncle is d-. He's gone." I say, as I can't bring myself to say the word dead. It can't be true.

"Is there a funeral?" Josh asks, his concern showing on his face as he looks down at me.

"Yeah-sniff-the funeral is on tuesday, but I might have to get a-a a plane ticket because I do not think I could-sniff-drive by myself." I spew out. I am already dreading the long, lonely plane ride. What happened to that cheerful holiday attitude?

"Hey! What if we drove you Beccs? We could drive so you don't have to and you can get all ready for the funeral in the car, I mean emotion wise." Char bursts out after a long period of silence.

"Yeah. And, we could probably get permission from Ms. Alexandra to leave on a family basis. I'll go ask her-" Josh starts to plan the whole thing out as I sit there in silence. Every once in awhile, Char will burst in with a "How about route 46?" or "We could stop for snacks here, and here."

"And we could stop here for gas-Becca. Beccs, are you okay with this? Anything you want to add?" Char looks over at me. Well, maybe I'm not okay, but I wouldn't ever say that. I am so thankful that Char and Josh offered to drive me. They could drive me to my house, where my dad would greet us-

My dad would greet us.

No, that can't happen. My dad cannot greet us. If he did, than Josh would maybe know who he is, and then my dad would get mad at him, probably scare Josh away.

"I don't think you guys should come, I mean, I can go by myself. Right?" I say. Josh can't see my dad.

"Becca, are you scared Josh will see your dad and not like you anymore." Char asks. She knows everything about me, and I must give it away by my red face. I can feel it getting hot as I sheepishly glance at Josh who has moved to the other bed.

"Rebecca, you know I will always like you, no matter who your dad is, because you are Rebecca Lee, not your dad" Josh says."I don't even know his name"

I giggle quietly. "Roy Lee." I tell him as quiet as I can. Maybe he misheard me because there is more silence for a few moments.

"Wait... Roy Lee !?" Josh asks as it seems to dawn on him. "Roy Lee, the famous scientist? The one who invented a CURE FOR CANCER? Why haven't you ever told anyone? It's crazy-"

"Look, Josh, I have my reasons that I don't really feel like sharing. Okay? But yeah, that's my dad. I'm not proud of him but it seems like everyone else is." I say, turning my head away as I continue. "Roy Lee is not my dad. He may technically be, but he never really cared about me."

"Roy Lee..." Josh mutters under his breath. Char nods understandingly my way. She's known forever who my dad is and for the longest time adored him, until I un-convinced her he was a great guy. Honestly, it was when we went over to my house for spring break when my dad was gone and I told her his story, so now I'm nervous.

How bad could it be? Honestly, all my dad would do would be scare Josh. But what if Josh thought I was like him? I don't want to be Roy Lee's daughter to my boyfriend. I want to be Rebecca Lee.

"Rebecca, you know that I don't care who you're dad is, to me you'll always be Rebecca Lee." Josh says, almost like he can read my thoughts. I don't think he knows what he's getting into, but his face looks so hopeful and Char really wants to go too. I guess he'd have to meet my dad sometime...

"So, are we still up for a car trip?"