Breathing In

8

I wake up the next day, and almost jump out of bed, because I dan't remember where I am. Suddenly, the day before comes rushing back to me, and I lay in bed with the words And he died because of it circling round and round, and round, and round, and-

"REBECCA!!!! GET DRESSED, IT'S TIME TO EAT!" Char, James, and Josh all call in unison from the bottom of the stairs. The familiar smell of whole-wheat waffles shokes me awake. I look around my room for the bags that I brought up late last night, and pull out a pair of jeans and a Curtis Academy sweatshirt, just to spite my dad. I head down stairs, and almost trip over myself when I take a look at the huge breakfast.

"What in the world, guys? Why such a big breakfast? I think I'm pretty used to a pop-tart for breakfast now." I mumble, still tired.

"Hey, not my idea." Josh says pointing to James. He smirks at me and hands me a plate, and I realize that it's just what I need.

"Thanks, James." I say with a smile right back at James. I eat my steaming waffles, until I think my belly is going to burst. "After this breakfast, I do not think I'll fit into my dress."

Everyone laughs, and James says "I don't think that will be a problem."

Suddenly, everyone stops laughing, and Char raises her eyebrows at me. Josh turns slowly to James.

"Hey, bud. I think we need to talk." Josh says, almost a low growl. James raises his eyebrows, trying to look tough, but I can tell he is a little scared.

"Josh..." I warn, but he still pulls James out into the hall beside the kitchen. Char gestures to the corner, and we press up against it to her what is happening, more for the safety of James tham in curiosity.

"...I don't think you realize who I am. I'm a football player, and I do not like other guys hitting on my girlfriend." Josh's familiar voice says.

"I-I-wasn't. We're just f-f-friends, yeah." James stutters.

"Let it stay that way." Josh says, and I walk in, motioning to Josh to stay, and for James to leave.

"Look, Josh. I appreciate the toughness, but me and James were best friends for 13 years. Nothing is going on. I do think he likes Char, though. Char sure likes him." I say, as I rub his back to calm him down.

"Really?" Josh asks in between deep breaths.

"Yes." And I leave it at that, as I go outside after I put on my jacket. I am fiddling with one of the screws on an old swing set as I fall up, then fall down in the crisp winter morning air. The wind hits my face, and I can smell the scent of Char's perfume from far away as she walks up to me.

"Are you okay? The funeral," She says, and pauses and softly continues, "It's in about 5 hours, we should probably get set up and eat lunch soon. Do you want us to come with you, or do you want to go by yourself?"

"Oh, if you want to" I say, as it suddenly hits me what I'm going to do today. A single tear slips down my face, and I wipe it away as I follow Char back into the warm house. We both head upstairs to my room, where I laid a few dresses on my bed. I have a short strapless one, and a long long-sleeved black one.

Char looks at the dresses on my bed, and grabs the shorter one. As she hands it to me, she reaches for a sparkly diamond necklace that she finds on my dresser.

"Where did you get this? It's beautiful!" She says, impressed.

"Oh, my dad gave it to me to try to get me to stay." I say. The necklace was expensive, and it was only another reason for me to leave: my dad thought he could buy my love. Shows how much money spoiled him.

"You should wear it. You could call it an apology." She says, and I realize she's right. I know I will have to make amends at some point.

I look at the sparkling diamond hanging on the thin silver thread. I remember when my father gave it to me, and I remember my reaction perfectly, the way I only frowned and said, A necklace? Really? I'll take it, but I still don't love you. I frown at the memory.

"I don't think I need to apologize, Char" I say.

"Yes, you do. You were the one who left. Your dad may have lied to you, but from what I could tell, he was sorry for it. Also, it probably was for a good reason." Char says, as she tries to convince me to wear the necklace.

"I'll think about it." I say, and we are quiet for a moment as I pull on my dress and finger the necklace. I hear Char leave, but then someone comes in, and I think it's Charlotte.

"Hey, should I wear my hair in a bun, or should I just wear it down..." I stop as I turn around and realize that Josh is standing in the doorway.

"Either way, you look beautiful." He says, as he looks at me with a smile on his face.

"If I had a nickel for every time you said that, I'd be rich" I say.

"I just have to keep saying it, because I feel like I'll lose you if I don't." He says a little under his breath.

"What?"

"Never mind, Beccs" Josh says as he pulls me in for a kiss. His warm lips are pressed up against mine, and Josh's muscular arms are wrapped around me. I melt into his kiss, and I finally feel happy for a moment.

The door creaks, but I dismiss it as the wind, until a cough sounds from it. "Ahem."

"Oh, um." I say as I turn and see my dad standing there. my cheeks redden, and I get angry. Why should I care if my dad sees me kissing my boyfriend? I do not care what he thinks, remember?

"Mister Roy..." Josh trails off, and looks at me with a disappointed look on his face.

"I was going to talk with Rebecca, but I see you're busy." My father says, his face rock solid.

"Oh, I'll leave." Josh says, and grabs my hand and whispers in my ear, "We'll finish this later."

I look after him, and then turn to face my dad.

"What?!" I say, angry that he interrupted my kiss.

"I wanted to talk to you before the funeral," He says, and he genuinely looks concerned. Yeah right, I think. "Do you need anything?"

"No." I say, then turn to finish clasping my necklace behind my neck at the mirror. When he doesn't leave, and he is staring at my neck, I get annoyed.

"Do you want to leave?"

"I like your necklace." He says.

With my teeth clenched, and my hands in a fist, I say "I wanted to make a statement that I realize you probably had a good reason for not telling the truth, and I'm ready for the real truth now."

"I-I can't." He says.

"You can't ? Or you won't ?" I say, and now that I'm finally dressed, I push past him to find Josh and Char, maybe even James. Anyone besides my dad.