Breathing In

6

The warm air coming from the heaters in the car is comforting, as is the familiar feel of Charlotte sleeping beside me. I looks up towards the front, where I've left Josh by himself, sleeping. No more events have occurred in the whole 10 hours we have been on the road. The night is starting to cover the sky, like a dark blanket drawn over the light.

Josh sleepily asks me if we want to stop, and as I nod my just as sleepy yes, he pulls up into a well lit gas station The night has covered the sky unsuspectingly as I glance up when we walk outside. We took a bathroom break, and Char is grumbling about how "she didn't get to sleep".

As we head towards the car with our warm gas station hot dogs, nothing can be heard except for the munching of food. Josh pipes in after a while, about how far away we are.

"Becca, we have about 5 hours left. Are you okay so far?" Josh says.

"Well, I honestly do not know." I say. "I feel like I should be crying or mad, but all I really feel is, nothing."

"Hey, that's okay. You're not supposed to be super sad, or happy even. people deal with sadness in different ways." Josh says.

The silence suddenly engulfed the car, and I feel uncomfortable. I remember a song that Curtis used to sing to me:

All the time

I felt alone

You were there

Me by your side

While I looked

Far at the sky

You told me, Hon,

Just close your eyes

As I hum the catchy tune, Josh starts to hum as well. The car is filled with the sweet sound of the tune, and I close my eyes and fall into a not-so dreamless sleep.

The car is suddenly filled with a thick smoke. I can't breathe, and as I gasp for breath, I reach out beside me to find an empty seat. I try to stand up but it is like I am made of rocks and glued to the seat. A face peers at me through the fog that covers me and I gasp at the sight of my presumed-dead uncle.

"You're alive?" I ask in wonder, but the words come out of my mouth raspy and thin.

"Becca" The face says without moving his lips. Charlie's familiar voice warms me to the bone.

"But, Charlie, I thought you were dead!" I say.

"Becca, wake up. We're here Becca" The face says, as it turns to the even more familiar voice of Charlotte.

I gasp the clean air as I look around at my friends' faces. "Oh?" I ask, suddenly awake even more. I look around and see the once familiar trees lining the street, and the long black driveway, snaking itself up towards the big white house I used to call my home.

The house looks even more rejected than when I left. The faint smell of smoke stills fills my nose, and as I reach out to touch the window, I pull back suddenly at the cool pane of glass.

"Wait! We can't go in yet." I say, as I realize where we are. Josh is starting to pull up to the driveway, and a thin sheet of snow covers the grass beside us. As Josh starts to unbuckle, and I hear Char's seatbelt click, I am suddenly faced with the severity of what and where we are going.

Maybe he's not home. I tell myself, though I know he will be, because whenever Roy is working on something, he is always home. The sky is dark, and the faint light of the clock in the car tells me it is almost 2 in the morning.

"Look, like I told you before, I don't care who your father is, Becca, but I love you." Josh says. "And, anyways, you would have to face him sometime."

"Hey, Beccs, it's okay." Char says. I look at my friends and realize, not for the first time how lucky I am to have them. I grab Charlotte's outstretched hand and go to the back to grab my two bags, when Josh pipes up from the back of the car.

"Maybe we should see if he's home first, Becca. Is that okay?" I realize in a daze that we are at my father's house, and I can't do anything about it. Let's just get this over with. I think to myself.

As we walk up the staircase to the door, I am dreading the answer to the doorbell. Ding Dong. The bell chimes faintly from the closed door and I look upwards, my hands sweaty and shaking. Josh puts his arm around me and I am comforted knowing he doesn't care who my dad is, but I am still scared that when he sees him, something bad will happen.

I hear voices from inside the house, a familiar ¨Someone's here!¨ from the livingroom, and any hope that I had of nobody being home is suddenly thrown out the window. I timidly scoot behind the corner of the door, out of sight of whoever opens the door.

"I'm scared" I whisper as quietly as I can from behind the corner to Char who is beside me.

"It's going to be okay. Why can't you understand that Rebecca?" Char starts to say, in a louder voice but quiets down. "Becca, at least you have a dad. Stop whining!" She starts to say again. Charlotte has never burst out like this before.

"Char..." I say, and I want to explain how I feel, but she already knows it.

I hear shuffling and a door. A blind is pulled up at the corner near the door, and I shiver from my corner. The door creakes open, and even though I can't see it, I am terrified.

"Hello, and what do you want?" I hear my dad's voice crack. "Do you know what time it is?"

"Yes, um, sir" Josh says nervously. It's so unlike him to be nervous, that I grab Char's hand, but she just squeezed it comfortingly, and whispers;

"He's only nervous because he is meeting his girlfriend's dad." The anger from before seems to have melted away in compassion, and I almost sigh out loud, when I remember that I am at the door, basically.

"And what time might that be?" My dad says, and barely pauses before saying "Almost 2 a. m., so this better be good"

I hear Josh take a deep breath, and glance over at me to catch my eye, and nod. Before I can do anything, he says;

"Mister Roy, I thought I should come see my girlfriends dad when she said she was heading over for a funeral, and I came for, um, moral support."

My dad pauses, and though I can't see anything, I hear his weight shift, and he says, "So. You are dating my daughter. What might your name be?"

"Josh. Joshua Tucker. I go to school with Becca."

"You go to school with her" My dad says, and suddenly, I can't take it anymore. I look at Char, who looks surprised, and take a big step forward, literally.

"Roy, Josh wanted to ask if we could crash here while we stay for Charlie's funeral" I say, and I am amazed at how confident my voice sounds as I take in the sight of my dad who I haven't seen for 3 years.

"Well." As he turns to face me, his face turns to stone and I can't read his expression underneath the thick layer of confusion, "Well. Rebecca, I can't say I'm surprised someone like Josh would want to-"

"Roy! Who is it? Bring them inside, I'm freezing!" Another voice calls from inside. As the voice come towards the door, I see James' eyes widen in surprise when he sees me. "Um, Becca. I know I invited you, but I didn't think you would come to stay here..."

"Is that a problem, James?" I ask, with my newfound confidence.

"No, no. Come on, I'll take your friends inside to the spare rooms." James mentions to char and Josh and gestures upstairs. I look over to see if they are okay with everything, and I see Char's face red with cold. Well, maybe not cold. I chuckle quietly to myself as I imagine Char flirting with James.

Char immediately gets even more red when James heads upstairs, and Josh looks questioningly over to me. I nod subtly as my friends leave me alone with my father who stole the cure for cancer, and lied about it.