His Appointed Wife

17. Friends? Lovers? Friends with benefits?

I do. I really do. But do you, really? I will always be here for you, no matter what. Will you? - Alex.

~~~

17. Friends? Lovers? Friends with benefits?

(Alexandra)

"Kiss me." He said and she didn't know why she was very fast to do as he asked, but she did. Maybe it was because she had already started counting the day that this would come to an end. But she was not going to waste it away by pretending that her feelings were not there. She couldn't afford to waste her time with him, so she was going to take as much of him as she could.

And when you walk away, you know it will hurt more. This will hurt more.

I know, but I can't do anything about that.

"Alex." He groaned her name as her lips fanned over his. Touching. Teasing. And giving in.

He grabbed her to him as if they weren't already close enough. She knotted her hand inside his hair and her fingers were lost in them, and so was she, lost in him. So lost. So lost she couldn't find herself no matter how hard she looked for.

Is it really a good idea?

No, it wasn't, but this was the only idea.

When he pulled away, she was breathless. And hot. He looked like he was too.

"This isn't in the contract, you know." She said, her voice husky. He nodded as he leaned back and took a deep breath.

"I know. I drafted it." His voice was hoarse and his eyes were fastened on hers. He made her feel like that she was the only woman in the universe for him, but she knew it wasn't the truth. She knew it was all in her mind, it was all her wistful thinking.

Because all she was to him was a byline in a lumpy documents full of legal words. That was all.

"So why are you always kissing me, you jerk?"

"What, don't act like you don't like kissing me. I know you do."

"Whatever."

"We are both adults and if we want to kiss each other, it is totally okay. We don't have to make a big deal out of it." There he was, always cool and collected. Never for a second doubting himself or his feelings. Never for a second thinking that this might be something.

"I am not, but I don't know, maybe we should stop with all the kissing. I don't think this is making it any easier. I don't want a mess."

"This is not going to be messy, Alex. You are my friend."

"As I said before, friends don't kiss each other like this." She pointed between them. "Friends don't kiss. At all. Period."

"Okay. I am attracted to you and I know you know that. So why can't we enjoy it for an year. Totally casual. Friends with benefits if you can. No strings attached."

"I understand what you are saying. I get it, okay. You don't have to keep using different words to drive the nail deep inside." She rolled her eyes. "And friends with benefits? What are we? In high school?"

"High school is not bad." He smiled. "And I am just- you know, I am just testing it out. Casual. It doesn't sound so bad."

"I have never been in a casual relationship and I don't think it is for me."

To be honest, she had never been in a relationship much longer than five months. But he didn't have to know that. She couldn't just show him all her hands and hope to win, either way.