Chapter 11 | torn picture, torn hearts

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I open the door to my bedroom and notice Cole sitting in the corner rifling through a collection of pictures. He doesn't notice the food in my hands as he lifts up the ripped picture of the two of us, "Angry at me, huh Ash?"

Cole's studying the picture with an unreadable expression. His lips quirk up into a smile momentarily as he glances over our jubilant faces. As he looks at the picture, I keep my eyes on him. I place my smorgasbord of food on my dresser and sit across from him.

I smile when I see the freckles that cover his cheeks. He used to always tell me how he hates his freckles. I always loved them. They reminded me of tiny stars spread across his otherwise clear skin. Actually, I loved them so much that as a little girl, I took sharpie and drew brown dots across my cheeks. Needless to say, my mother wasn't too pleased. They took four days to come out.

He's still staring at the picture with a wistful, conflicted expression. "Why did you rip this?" He actually sounds hurt by my actions and I feel bad for a moment. Then I remember him calling me a loser. Him kissing Shelby in the hallway. Him avoiding me for two weeks. Him never responding to my texts.

"You tell me," I reply, but there's no fight in my voice, only a lingering sadness, "you seem to have quite literally broken our friendship and you're upset over a picture."

"I'm n--"

"Fine!" I burst out, interrupting him, "I'm angry at you. Do you want to know why?"

"I--" he holds up a hand as if to prevent my explanation. I ignore this.

"When we were kids you promised that we'd be friends forever. You promised! Then as the years went along, I found out you were moving. I was heartbroken, but at least I still had your promise. Except for you never intended to keep it, did you?" I take a deep breath, preparing to continue my rant, "Not only did you abruptly leave my life, you hardly made any effort to keep in contact with me. A year later you refused to respond to my texts. I cried over you!"

"Ash.."

"Then you came back. I didn't even have time to be excited because you were a jerk from the first moment. You made it clear that you couldn't care less about me. You called me a loser. You acted like you knew me."

I'm glaring at him now, not caring that his eyes are nearly tortured--pain causing his lower lip to quiver. Pain I caused. My eyes start burning with suppressed tears--whether from anger or sorrow, I'm not quite sure.

"You treated me like a stranger Cole. You know me...and you knew you were hurting me when you said what you did."

He reaches a hand toward me but I don't take it, turning away from him to hide my tears.

"I don't need you. For goodness sakes, you haven't been there for me for awhile. No need to start now."

"You don't understand--"

I laugh bitterly, "I don't understand, you're right. But I don't care anymore. I'm done giving you second, third, fourth chances."

"I'm sorry," he says softly, sounding genuinely sorry. I'm not sure that I'm ready to forgive him. Yes, I forgave Shelby more readily but she was my friend for a year--she didn't know me the way Cole does.

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