Dust

XXXIV

"This changes everything," Shi muses, drawing his legs up to his chest. His feet, now bare, press creases into the leather of the sofa. "I guess I never really questioned the whole vampire thing, but now..."

"This is what they didn't want us to know," I say, thinking back to the scornful eyes of Leopold and his brothers, the way he snatched the journal from my fingers as if it were a precious gem. "They're making people into vampires and erasing their memory, but...but who? Other Marisians?" My head is exploding with questions with answers that are near but far, tangible but abstract. I lean forward, setting Meredith's spellbook on her coffee table. "What would Damien think..." I mutter under my breath.

"Damien?" comes Shi's voice from behind me; I've gotten up and faced the wall, a careful hand at my chin. "He's the friend that's a vampire, right?"

I look at Shi over my shoulder, nodding. "So you can imagine why, of all of us, he should be the first to know—"

"Call him."

"I can't," I tell Shi, turning my full body to face him. He still sits atop Meredith's couch, but now his legs are crossed on top of each other. He watches me with alert sun-gold eyes, biting his lip. "Shi, I can't call him."

Those sun-gold eyes roll behind his lenses. "That's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard," he remarks. "Let me guess, because he'll come looking for you, and 'you have to do this alone?'" He makes sure to make his quotations obvious, gesturing with his fingers.

"Well, I do, and that's the thing," I reply, grabbing a seat on the edge of the coffee table, beside the old spellbook. "I call Damien, and it's like the sound of my voice will spark a virus in him that causes ceaseless searching for me, especially if I don't tell him my whereabouts. He cares too much, and that's the problem. It may sound cheesy to you, Shi, but this is something I have to do by myself—"

"And yet," he interrupts, then just gestures at himself. "My quite corporeal body is sitting on this couch right now. You're not alone."

I frown, tapping my nails across the wood. "Yes, but that's different."

"How so?"

"I mean...you're not...you're just..." Shi is raising his eyebrows at me now, accusing. I cough and start again. "Yes, you're helping me, and thank you, by the way—look, I just can't call him. It's hard to explain, but I can't. I'll have to wait until we get back."

Shi pauses, his eyes narrowing. "We?"

The air seems to thicken around us as I study him, the subtle uncertainty in his gaze, the frown at his lips, the slight color to his cheeks as if they've just been pinched. His expression is strange to me; mournful but relaxed, at peace with his circumstances. "You're not telling me you're going back to that cave when this is over, are you?"

He scoffs. "You have another idea?"

"Just because your family doesn't want to see you doesn't mean you have to hide from Maris entirely, Shi," I say, folding my arms across my chest. "You can't stay out here and become a caveman."

Shi chuckles, raking a hand back through his tawny hair. "I've always wanted to be a caveman, actually."

"Well, too bad. I'm crushing your dreams," I announce, poking at his knee with my foot. He looks up at me as if I'm crazy, and I just smile at him; it wouldn't be bad to have someone else in the house, another member of my odd but perfect little family. My brother, mother, Damien, and Shi. I should begin sending out Christmas cards now. "Shiloh whatever your middle name is Carmichael, I hereby pronounce you an unofficial member of the Armistead family. You're coming back with me. You need somewhere to stay, and a cave's not going to cut it."