Dust

XLI

         

As a commercial for some sort of girls toy that would have interested me when I was five drones on, I sit in front of the Echeart's living room television, beyond bored. Gael left for work a few hours ago, Rhea's shut up in her room, and Mrs. Echeart has been in her office since she woke up. As for the rest of the family, Gael's dad is out at work, and the one person I'm glad isn't here is Kip, whose psychotic girlfriend finally couldn't wait.

    My eyes are beginning to tire from all the pink flashing across the screen, and I sigh, sinking further down into the couch cushions. I should be thinking about home, and when I'm going to go back there. I should be thinking about what to do with the knowledge I now have about the Commission. I should be doing anything but sitting here and rotting my brain.

    I mean, I know I can't stay here. It's only a short time before something goes wrong, and the whole nation rebels against me, just like it happened with Gael. I can't let that happen, can't leave my family behind. But by leaving, am I not asking Gael to do the same thing? Maybe I shouldn't have forgiven him. He's right. Hating him would be so much easier.

    Frustrated with myself and my stupid heart, I roll over, groaning into my pillows. My head has began to hurt.

    I hear a familiar voice from somewhere nearby: "It's a bit early to have a mid-life crisis, Gemma."

    I don't roll over again, just sigh and turn my head to the side so I can breathe. "Not if I'm only going to live until I'm thirty-two, Shi," I say. "I just don't know what to do."

    "You could sit up and talk to me, for one," Shi replies, and I reluctantly let him pull me up to a seating position. With a rueful smile, he plops himself down on the couch, silencing the television with the click of a button.

    Before he can start, I ask, "So, don't think I haven't noticed you rummaging in the kitchen for the past hour. Why?"

    Shi gives a passive shrug, reclining and placing his hands behind his head. "I don't know. I've been starving since I woke up this morning; it's crazy. Luckily, I found meatballs."

    "Congratulations."

    "Meh," he adds, "it's not enough, though. You know the feeling when your stomach is so empty you can feel everything that enters it? It's that kind of day for me."

    "That's...sudden," I say, not recalling him having this raging hunger a few days ago. Before I can ask if he's okay, Shi has already moved on, unfurling his legs and stretching them out. I look down at his feet, now brushing my hip, in disdain.

    "You don't know what to do. About what?" he asks me, pushing his glasses up to his forehead. For a second I can only blink at him; glasses-less Shi is not a sight I see everyday, and I can't shake how different he looks. His eyes seem larger, their pure gold color without bounds, and I can't help but notice how thick his tawny eyelashes are.

    When I realize I've been staring, I cough and drop my gaze. "Everything," I murmur. "Just everything."

    "This is no time for being vague," Shi tells me, frowning in my direction. "If you give me a specific problem, I can give you a specific solution."

    "And when did you become Mr. All-Powerful Problem Solver?"

    "I was born this way," Shi replies promptly, winking at me. His lips quirk up at one side. "Now, go on. Tell me."

    "Fine," I say, drawing my knees to my chest and resting my chin on them. I stare at the blank television screen instead of at him, but I can feel his eyes on me, studious but not pressuring. How he does that is beyond me; I haven't known him that long, but Shi is just the kind of person that you'll always feel as if you've known your whole life. That kind of person is a rare beauty, and I'm not sure why it's taken me so long to realize that. "Gael and I made up."